Life according to Me
by Becca Black
Summary: New goals in Hogwarts teaching start to effect Sirius Black's life, but more than new goals is a new girl. some journal format at beggining, changes at end
1. What I'm Thinking, Entry 1

Disclaimer: It has come to my attention that I need a disclaimer in this story.I'm adding this in now.This story line and any OC's belong to me. Anything else belongs to JK or Warner Bro's, not me. Have fun! A/N: This will be a fic that's written in a very weird format, both in journal/diary form, and in Sirius' view point (outside the journal). This is the first fic I have tried to write like this (only the second I have tried to write period), and so bare with me, I have to figure out what im doing and I how to go about doing it.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
  
Date: September 7, 1976  
  
School started a week ago. Apparently Dumbledore wants to 'improve our writing skills'. He assigned this task to McGonagall, so each week we have to turn in an essay on what happened to us during that week. Couldn't he have just created some writing class for those who actually want to write?!? That makes more sense to me.  
  
Anyway, now every week we have to turn in an essay to McGonagall on 'what we think we learned' or something similar (anything really). It has to be at least a foot of parchment. What am I supposed to write about? A foot of parchment on what happened during my week. Why does she want to know? I spend most of it in detentions with her.  
  
I can just imagine what the overachievers are writing about. "This week I did the extra credit in potions, and I studied for my O.W.L.S." I really can see it, that Evans kid that James seems to like, I can see her doing it, and Snape too. Though I hardly think he has any brains.  
  
Sometimes I wish I were one of them. Man, their parents must be proud. My parents on the other hand, they check my trunk every time I leave, just to make sure I don't have anything I could use for a prank. They don't even trust me. Their own SON!  
  
But they would never do that with Ryan. Why should they? He's the child prodigy of the wizarding world in their eyes. In all truth and honesty, the only way he makes it by in half the classes is with my help. Every night I have to explain to him what he 'learned' as if he were a muggle child, not an almost grown wizard in one of the best Wizarding School in the world.  
  
Don't get me wrong or anything, I love my brother. I would die for him in a heartbeat. It's just that I want him to understand with out my help. I also need to use that time with him to teach him the Marauder's ways. I have to leave behind a legacy you know. I guess I just want him to rock in school and be a great prankster. I have to take care of him while I'm here, but I won't, I refuse to be one of those annoying older siblings that won't let their siblings live. I've seen it happen, and it's not pretty.  
  
Hogwarts is where I found myself, and my best friends. James, Remus, and Peter. Now they are like brothers to me. I don't know what I would do if I lost one of them. Ever. I can't imagine it.  
  
What else happened to me this week? Nothing. I spent most of it in detentions with various teachers..  
  
Sirius Black  
  
  
  
*******  
  
Sirius set down his quill and parchment. "Wow," he thought, " I am so going to need to edit that before I hand it in to McGonagall. I need to remember not to bare my soul so much on a piece of paper. Note to self: re-write essay!"  
  
James and Lily walked up to Sirius, just having finished their essays as well. "Sirius, we have got to go do more research on how to be come animagus'. Remy's gone out again tonight, I hate having to leave him all alone out there in the Shrieking Shack." Lily already knew of Remus' 'condition' as they called it. They couldn't just openly speak of the lycanthropy in the middle of school.  
  
"Writing all that down about Ryan and all felt really good," Sirius thought. "It's almost like this burden had been lifted off of my shoulders. I know it hasn't been, but just getting it out of my mind.It made me feel like there was less pressure."  
  
"Sirius?? You there?" James said, waving a hand in front of his friends face. "Oh, yeah.sorry. I was just lost in thought I guess.." He replied Lily laughed, "Sirius thinking?!? Wow I'm amazed!" They walked off towards the library laughing about Snape, and various other things.  
  
~*~  
  
Sirius sat down on his four poster. "What do I write about this week?" he thought, "I'm sure McGonagall would love to hear about our journeys to the library to find out about animagi."  
  
~*~  
  
September 13  
  
This week has been filled with nothing but boring stuff. No good pranks, no good taunts on Snape. What's the point of writing this thing then?  
  
No, actually a new girl came to school. Don't really know why she came late. Just showed up in the Great Hall one day. I guess she was sorted in Dumbledore's office. That would only make sense. She's a Gryffindor. That's all I know. She seems to go up to the dorms as soon as she can. Doesn't spend much time out and around the commons room. Wonder where she's from.She's in our year, maybe Lily knows. Not that I care or anything.  
  
I had a detention with Prewett earlier this evening. Don't think that teacher likes me too much. I don't even know what I did to get the detention. Oh well, probably deserved it. Sirius Black  
  
~*~  
  
Sirius quickly read over his essay. "Good," he though, "nothing I should take out." He rolled up the parchment and put it into his bag, then went down to the commons room to find out more about the new girl. 


	2. The New Kid in Hogwarts

Chapter 2  
  
AN: I got one review. Someone out there must like it. So I continue.  
  
"Kate. Her name is Kate," Lily said while looking at Sirius strangely. "Why the sudden interest?" "What do you mean? I see a new girl, who happens to be very quite, I wonder what her name is, I ask the one person I think would know. So I ask you again, what's so strange?" he replied, getting even funnier looks from James and Peter.  
  
"Well, I think it's strange. You have not shown interest in a girl since, well.yeah" Lupin said, afraid to mention what he was thinking.  
  
"What? Since Cassie got hurt? Yeah, I know. You don't need to be afraid to mention it, Remus, I won't break at hearing her name."  
  
Cassie, Sirius' older sister had become an Auror. On one of her first jobs Voldemort's Death Eaters attacked her. "Hurt" was what Sirius called it, really she was lying vegetable like at St. Mungos. The other Marauders didn't like to talk about it when Sirius was around. They didn't like to talk about it period.  
  
  
  
"Well, maybe that's just coincidence. Anyway, who says im 'interested' in her?" Sirius said storming off to the dormitories. 'Why is everyone butting into this? All I asked was her name. Who's to say that means I like her?' Sirius thought.  
  
~*~  
  
Sirius, Lily, James, and Remus walked into their Advanced Transfiguration class.  
  
"I've decided that a change of seats is in order. You will find your new spot by looking for your essays on animagi. Please find them and take your seats immediately Thank You."  
  
Sirius and James looked at each other. They both knew that anytime McGonagall changed seats around, it was because of them.  
  
Sirius looked and found his animagi essay quickly. He knew which was his because of the ink splotches on it. Once he was seated he looked around for the person he was to sit with, then he realized there was no essay sitting next to him.  
  
"Oh, yes, Miss Daae, sit next to Mr. Black." McGonagall said, waving her to her seat. Meanwhile Sirius looked a bit perplexed. 'Wow, he thought. Just my luck, the girl I've been wondering about gets assigned to sit next to me.I should be in her robes after a week or so.' Suddenly the look on his face changed to one of complete shock, 'WHAT? Self, since when have you wanted to be in any witches robes? NEVER! That's what I thought. Especially one you've never spoken to!'  
  
James and Lily, both seeing the looks on Sirius' face, laughed out loud. They knew that Sirius liked the girl, they also knew that he wouldn't admit it to himself.  
  
~*~ Later in Class ~*~  
  
Sirius scribbled something on a piece of parchment, then passed it over to his 'partner'.  
  
"Kate?"  
  
Miss. Daae scribbled something else on the parchment then gave it to Sirius.  
  
"Nope." Was all that is said  
  
Sirius gave a puzzled look. Then he wrote something else on the parchment.  
  
"Cate?"  
  
McGonagall chose that moment to survey what each student was doing. When reaching Sirius' desk and seeing the parchment filled with notes, she warned them that next time she caught them passing notes, they would each receive a detention.  
  
"Nope." She wrote back as soon as McGonagall's back was turned.  
  
Sirius got frustrated with this. Upon seeing his look of frustration Miss Daae almost died laughing. It was a good think McGonagall was out of the room, otherwise they would have both gotten a detention.  
  
"What the bloody hell is it then?"  
  
"Cayte"  
  
"Well then.." Sirius got out another piece of parchment, scribbled something on it, then passed it to Cayte. It read:  
  
"Cayte?"  
  
She laughed, then wrote something else down on the parchment.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Pretty name. What's it short for?" Sirius added, 'always ask about the name,' he thought to himself.  
  
"Nothing. It's not short for anything"  
  
"Ok then, What is your full name??"  
  
"That's a different story. My parents are strange, they wanted to name me Caytelynn but, didn't want to have such a long name to have to shorten etc. So my full name is Cayte Lynn Daae."  
  
"Ahh I get it. Well, Cayte, I am Sirius Black. My mum loves constellations and all of the myths that go with them. I swear she part centaur somewhere. She named me, and all of my siblings, after constellations."  
  
"Really? Well I get Sirius, but what are you siblings names?"  
  
"There's Cassie, short for Cassiopeia, and Ryan. And me, of course me, named after the Dog Star Sirius."  
  
"Cassiopeia, that's pretty, but how is Ryan after a constellation?"  
  
"Don't know really. Often wondered that myself. All I can figure is that she didn't want a son named Orion so she changed it. That or she just decided to name him after her dad. Don't really know."  
  
"Cool.er- Wicked. Isn't that what you say here?"  
  
"Wicked. Yep, that's it. Where are you from? Obviously not from here if you have to ask about wicked."  
  
"The US. I moved to London from the US because my mom (mum?) got a job transfer. You'll have to excuse me. I'm not really up on my English slang terms."  
  
"Don't worry about it. Over here, we all love to here good American slang. It's quite amusing really. To think, that two words can mean the same thing, its quite perplexing!"  
  
"Sirius Black, did I not tell you that if I caught you and Miss Daae passing notes again, that you would receive a detention? The both of you will see me after class to find your times."  
  
"Yes ma'am," said Cayte in a voice that told everyone in the room that she was about to cry. Sirius looked stunned at this. 'I made a girl cry?' he thought, ' I swore to myself that I would never make a girl cry, and yet she's crying.' The bell for the end of class rang and everyone filed out of the class. Sirius chased after Cayte, but she ran ahead to the dormitories.  
  
"Lily?' Sirius said, turning and looking for her. Once spotting her, he ran to greet her panting he said, "Lily, go get Cayte from the dorms. Tell her- tell- tell her im sorry, I didn't mean to make her get into trouble. Tell her-"  
  
"Umm, sorry Sirius, but you have to fight your own battles with her. Not even attempting to get into that one." Lily turned and walked off towards the Great Hall for lunch.  
  
'Crap! Way to go self, get the girl to talk about her name. Well, looks like getting the girl to talk at all was a bad idea.' Sirius followed Lily into the Great Hall, sat down and eat his lunch quietly thinking of ways to get Cayte to talk to him again. 


	3. A very personal moment

Chapter 3  
  
AN: I GOT MORE REVIEWS!!! Keep 'em coming! The more I get, the more likely I am to write more.  
  
"Who said I wasn't talking to you? As you can tell, I am," Cayte said, looking at Sirius and trying to not die laughing.  
  
"Well, I only assumed-"  
  
"Lesson number one, when dealing with me, DON'T assume. I tend to break the standards of 'normal' girls." Cayte said, as they walked down to the Great Hall for dinner. "Now as far as the crying goes, well, that was because I have never received a detention in my life. That's the first one ever. It came as a shock to me, you know?"  
  
"Well, actually, I cannot say that I know what you mean. Never had a detention? I wish I could say that." They both sat down at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, most of the people sitting there started to whisper things back and forth. Mainly all you could here was, "Looks like Sirius has got a new girlfriend!", Lily and James kept warding off comments. They both knew that the two of them would be a couple, but that they couldn't comment now for fear of Sirius. He could be pretty freaky when he was mad.  
  
"Don't worry about them," Sirius said, regarding all the whispers. "Rule number one when dealing with me =: don't believe anything you hear about me, unless I tell you to."  
  
Cayte laughed, 'Wow, I think I'm starting to like him. The black hair and blue eyes are definitely sexy. and definitely my type.'  
  
Dinner ended, and everyone went up to his or her respective common rooms. Cayte, for a change, stayed in the Gryffindor common room until Sirius went up. She spent a great deal of time talking to Lily.  
  
'Wow, some of his friends are cool too! Err. wait; some of his friends are wicked. Wicked, wicked, wicked!!!'  
  
~*~  
  
September 21, 2002  
  
Cayte is pretty 'cool' (as the Americans would say). James and Lily are positive that I like her. I can't seem to convince them otherwise. It certainly seems that everyone in Gryffindor thinks the same.  
  
Remus is acting a little bit differently around me. And he keeps asking about Cassie. It's strange. I don't quite understand. Cassie is (or should I say was?) a wonderful person, but now she's just like a vegetable. James would normally kill Remy for bringing her up so much, but he seems perfectly fine with it all. It's strange, almost like he wants him to continue talking about it. I kind of wonder if they think I need 'help' getting over her. I really can't tell though. I suppose they think talking about it all would help, but I don't need help. I just want my sister to get better. That's all.  
  
You know as a kid I would sit and ask Santa for people to get better. Really, if one of siblings was sick in June I would sit in my parents shower (don't ask me why I always chose that location, I don't know) and say stuff like, 'Santa, Ryan is sick, I want him to get better. It's all I want this year, so please let him get over his cold.' I was such a strange kid.  
  
Sometimes I think I should ask someone to help me to help Cassie. Mum seems to be of the impression that nothing is wrong and that Cassie is just at St. Mungos for the fun of it. That she'll just pop out of this 'coma' thing and be fine. Dad, well, he's being dad. I don't really know how to explain it. He goes and talks to her sometimes. Actually, and it shouldn't be as funny as it is, he has conversations with her. Says she answers back. I've been in the room when one of these 'conversations' took place. It was freaky.. I'm gonna stop writing now.  
  
Sirius  
  
~*~  
  
"Sirius Black, why have you not turned in your weekly essay? Did you not write one?" McGonagall asked.  
  
"No ma'am. I wrote one."  
  
"Then where is it?"  
  
"Umm- May we talk about this after class?" Sirius asked blushing to the roots of his thick black hair.  
  
"I suppose, if that's what you want. Oh and by the way, you and Miss Daae will serve your detentions tonight. See me at eight for your tasks."  
  
Cayte's lip quivered but Sirius quickly grabbed hold of her hand for support and the quivering stopped. "Thank you," she whispered. Sirius just nodded. It was natural for him to try and comfort a crying girl.  
  
'Wow, that's strange. Reflexes I never knew I had. A girl cries, I grab her hand. Come to think of it, I remember Cassie once started crying because she had fal- don't think about Cassie. Not now, not in public. NOT in front of Cayte.' Sirius vividly shook his head, trying to 'shake' the thoughts out of his mind. This caused many other heads to turn and look at him.  
  
"What was that for?" whispered James, who sat two seats behind him.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll tell you later," he whispered back.  
  
"Yeah really, what was that for?" asked Cayte.  
  
"Really, don't worry about it," he said.  
  
At the end of class Sirius walked up to McGonagall's desk, "Professor McGonagall?"  
  
"Yes Sirius?"  
  
"Um, about the paper. Well, I wrote one but I would rather not turn it in."  
  
"But why could this be? If you wrote it, you must want credit for it."  
  
At that moment, Dumbledore walked into McGonagall's class room. "Professor McGonagall, may I speak with you for a few moments?"  
  
"Yes, of course Albus. Sirius, will you excuse me?"  
  
"Ye-"  
  
"Wait Mr. Black. I believe I am correct in saying that you did not turn in your paper this week. Please do not worry, you will still receive full marks."  
  
"Thank you, sir. Goodbye!" Sirius ran out of the classroom before Dumbledore had time to change his mind.  
  
"Hey! What went on in there?" Sirius turned to see Cayte had stood there waiting for him.  
  
"Yeah really, what happened?" Remus was walking down the staircase followed by James and Lily.  
  
If Sirius had been surprised by Cayte waiting on him, he had no time to show it. They were quickly walking to the Great Hall to lunch, all listening to what had happened with Sirius' paper.  
  
"Sometimes, I think that man knows everything." Sirius said, ending his story as they sat down.  
  
AN: WELL, I don't know when I will be able to post again. I think this chappy was long, but I am still not up on length of chappy versus word pages..Hopefully I will have something out to you all by next Wed. Until then, Peace Love and Sirius!! 


	4. Tears and fears

AN: WELL, I don't know when I will be able to post again. I think this chappy was long, but I am still not up on length of chappy versus word pages.. Hopefully I will have something out to you all by next Wed. Until then, Peace Love and Sirius!!  
  
  
  
Chapter 4  
  
AN: Sorry for the delay. Papers suck. Thanksgiving holiday, grandparents house, five-hour drive. Well, I have planned everything through New Years.now just to type! Yet again sorry for the delay, REALLY I am. I feel all guilty now!!!! Here ya go! Oh yeah, if a word is surrounded in asterisks (*) its italics.  
  
Late September passed quickly into the middle of October. Sirius and Cayte got closer as the days went on. Soon, she would give Lily a brief story of what was wrong, but tell Sirius everything. She had cried in font of him a few times, but Sirius didn't find this strange at all. She was not used to the way Hogwarts, or anything in Great Britain for that matter, was run, it was all so strange to her. At times he admitted to himself that if he had moved to America, he would probably cry that much too.  
  
As the weeks went on he also wrote a bit more frequently about what he was feeling. It was something that when he couldn't sleep he did. To him it was like emptying all of his thoughts out onto parchment so he didn't have to think about them anymore.  
  
~*~  
  
"Today is a day for independence, for all the Gryffindors, and their descendents!" yelled James, seeing as he was the captain of the Gryffindor team, and they had just defeated Slytherin for the first time in 7 years.  
  
"WHOOOO HOOOOOO!" screamed Sirius, James, Remus, Lily, Peter and Cayte.  
  
Whispering to James, Sirius said, " if only we could get some butter beer about now. We'd start a party that this house hasn't seen in over 100 years!"  
  
"Yeah, but I highly doubt that McGonagall would go for that one. Plus, that's not gonna help me on the road to 'head boy-dom'," James responded.  
  
Just at that moment McGonagall walked in with two buckets in her hand. When she placed them on one of the tables, they could see what they said on their sides.  
  
'Never-ending supply of butterbeer'  
  
"Ok, so it does end. At precisely one in the morning, these buckets as well as anything in them will disappear. I will come up here, if there is anyone in this commons room, you will not be allowed to attend any of the Quidditch games, even if you are on the team, and you receive quite a few detentions. Have Fun!" With that, McGonagall left the commons room.  
  
"Talk about irony!" James stated.  
  
"Yeah really. That was an absolutely amazing game man!" Sirius said, walking with James to get a butterbeer. They had to fight the crowd of people to grab tow, one for himself and another for Cayte.  
  
Ryan then walked up to the two of them, "James? Wow that game was great! And all of the cool stuff you did as chaser! Awesome!" that said, Ryan ran off seeming somewhat embarrassed.  
  
"I have the * strangest* brother ever!" looking around, Sirius noticed that Cayte wasn't anywhere to be found. "Hey, James? You seen Cayte?"  
  
James was already walking off towards Lily, but he turned is head and said, "No man, not since before the game."  
  
Sirius wondered where she could be, but then he realized something must have been seriously wrong. 'Why else would she not be down here celebrating?' he thought. He ran quickly up the staircase then pause before the girls dormitory. He heard a very soft crying coming form inside. Walking quietly up to her four-poster and sat down next where she was lying, sobbing heavily.  
  
"Cayte?" he asked, she could tell how worried she was about her from the tone of his voice.  
  
All she did was turn over and look up at him.  
  
When seeing her red and wet face, he lay down and drew her into his arms.  
  
"Shhhh. Don't cry. What's wrong?"  
  
His kindness and compassion made her sob even harder. "My dad. He- He- " She couldn't say anything more because she was attacked with another fit of sobs.  
  
"You miss him?"  
  
"No. I mean, yes, but that's not it." She sobbed into his shoulder.  
  
Somehow knowing that it was not a very wise thing to ask more about what was wrong that the time, Sirius just held her close to him and slowly rocked her back and forth trying to get her crying to cease.  
  
After a few minutes of this, she let go of him and looked into his blue eyes.  
  
"He's sick. He has some form of cancer and they don't know if he'll live or how long or anything like that. And I'm so worried, and, and-"  
  
"Shhh. Calm down. I'm sure that he'll be fine," at that time, Sirius noticed that there was a piece of parchment on her nightstand. "Did you just find out?"  
  
"No. I've known for while now," she said, still crying.  
  
"I hope you don't mind by asking, bu-'  
  
"You know that I won't mind," Cayte said, a smile finding it's way through the tears.  
  
"Why did it hit you like this now?"  
  
"The Quidditch game. Everyone was getting so emotional about it all. It reminded me of him, the way he gets when he's watching a football game on TV. He yells and screams and throws things, and he's so happy when doing it. After that I a started thinking things like, 'what if he never gets to do that again?' and it just kept going on and on. I couldn't stop the thoughts."  
  
By that time, she had stopped crying and was just lying in Sirius' arms telling him the story of how she found out about her fathers' cancer.  
  
"And that's all we know.Apparently the doctors will tell us if they can do anything about it soon," she said in one big yawn.  
  
Sirius looked over at the clock that was over the dormitory door. It was a little past eleven fifty. "No wonder your tired," Sirius said, "it's almost midnight. I'm going to go before everyone comes up here and someone tells McGonagall that I was in here." He stood up and headed towards the door.  
  
"Siri?" Cayte called.  
  
At first Sirius was a bit confused about the nick name she had used, but then he just turned around and looked at her.  
  
"Stay with me till I fall asleep. Please."  
  
"Of course." Sirius said, and in two paces he was by her side. He pulled up a chair that had been left there from someone else, sat down and took her hand. After about ten minutes, she had fallen asleep. Carefully, Sirius let go of her hand and placed it on the bed. Then he leaned down and kissed her forehead gently. When he got out side the door, he heard a faint whisper.  
  
"Wow. That was amazing!"  
  
Sirius quickly turned around to see Lily standing by the doorframe. "What are you doing here? How much did you hear?" Sirius couldn't speak for all of the questions that had popped into his head.  
  
"I've been standing here for the past ten minutes. I only heard from Cayte calling you 'Siri' and after. Rather boring conversation really," she said, speaking of their silence, " But really it was quite amazing. I mean, you got really close to her so quickly. James had asked me where you were, as if I would know. But I looked around and saw that you weren't in the commons room, and neither was Cayte. I put two and two together and came to look for the two of you."  
  
"Oh. That explains your intrusion so well," Sirius said, storming off. 'I shouldn't have snapped at Lily. Not a good thing to do. Really not a good thing to do. I am so confused. So I like her? Err. I shouldn't have yelled at Lily at all. Should I apologize? No, that would mean seeing Cayte again. I can't stand the thought of her crying again. Oh crap, I think I do like her.Though maybe it's just 'cause we're good friends.' Sirius walked to the boys' dorms very much confused about what he felt.  
  
~*~  
  
Lily completely understood why Sirius had yelled at her. She remembered very well the way James reacted when she first called him 'Jamie'. He almost strangled her. 'It must be some thing with guys. They don't want to admit they like someone until it hits them like a ton of bricks to the face. Guys are so weird.' So naturally she wasn't mad at Sirius at all, she was happier beyond belief. 'He's finally realized how much he likes her, and how much she likes him. Good. Hopefully this madness will all be over soon and they will just go out.'  
  
AN: Short chappy but I gotta do some stuff. School is horrible to an aspiring author. LoL! R/R everybody!!! Oooh oooh you can email me if ya want to. Beccablack57@yahoo.com 


	5. An unexpected suprise

AN: So, next chappy. Everybody happy? Well, I am going to try and make this chapter a little bit longer than the others. I feel that you deserve it, oh my faithful readers you (*Cough* Ciria * Cough*). Thank you to those of you who review every chapter (see parenthesis) you are the one/s who make me want to write more.. Enough of this cheesy crap, on to the chapter. I hope you enjoy!!! Side note: Cayte's last name (Daae) is pronounced Die-aay.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
  
  
Sirius turned over in his bed for what must have been the one- hundredth time that night.  
  
"Why can't I sleep?' he thought to himself, "I know self, count sheep! Nope wait, tried that one already. But I suppose I can try again. Okay, One Two Three." Sirius shut his eyes tight and started to concentrate on the back of his eyelids.  
  
'One sheep. Wait a minute, why is the sheep running towards me? AHHHHHHHH!" Sirius quickly opened his eyes. "Why the hell did that sheep look like a sheep until it turned to face me? Then it had Cayte's face. WHY DID IT HAVE CAYTE'S FACE???" Sirius stared up at the top of his four-poster wondering why he had only thought of Cayte since he left the girl dormitory.  
  
Every time Sirius closed his eyes, Cayte would appear before him in some form. Every time he turned over and looked across the bed, he saw Cayte crying again. Sirius peeked out of the curtains to see what time it was, the arms on the clock flashed at him, saying it was 2:30 in the morning. He got up and went to the edge of his bed.  
  
He got out a piece of parchment, a quill, and an inkbottle. He got back into his bed, sat down against the pillows, put the quill to the parchment and just started to write. He didn't think about what he was writing, he just wrote whatever came out of his head and onto the parchment. After a small time, he stopped, put everything but the piece of parchment onto his nightstand and read what he had written.  
  
I can't stop thinking about Cayte. She is everything that I want. My heart still aches because of her crying. Every time that I close my eyes, I see her. Every where that I look, she's there. The clock, my trunk, this paper, everything. I can't sleep for my thinking about her and wishing that everything ends up well with her father.  
  
She is so wonderful, and Lily and James and probably Remus all know that I like her. Hell, they all knew before I did. I'm not too sure that Peter knows though.  
  
She called me Siri. That's a nickname I have never heard. You would think that the other girls I've dated would have come up with some nickname like that, but no. She's not even my girlfriend (though I wish she were) and she is calling me by a nickname. I think that's really what triggered my realization that I like her.  
  
And then I start to wonder what Cassie would tell me to do. No. Wait, I shouldn't bring Cassie into this. But then again, I should. She always knew what to do, and everything she told em to do was always right.  
  
I suppose she would tell me to go for it. It's what I wasn't, and I can't change that. I definitely don't want to see Cayte every time I close my eyes. Not that it's bad or anything, but im so TIRED!  
  
Siri  
  
  
  
Sirius read over what he had written, realizing what everyone else has knows for while. He liked Cayte.Why else would he sign 'Siri', the name that she had bestowed upon him?  
  
Little did he know, Cayte was sitting up in her bed doing the same think that he was. ~*~  
  
What is going on here? Why can't I sleep? Damn Sirius! NO! WAIT! I DON'T MEAN IT! Well, ok.there's a double meaning behind this whole situation. I suppose.  
  
After Sirius and I had our conversation, he got up to go. I had called him over to sit with me till I was asleep. I knew that if he were there, he wouldn't let me cry. I had fallen asleep, and I guess he noticed and got up. But before he left, he bent down and kissed my forehead. That's when I woke up. It took a few minutes for me to realize what had actually transpired. By the time I figured it out, he was gone.  
  
So, he woke me up, but he's also the reason that I am unable to sleep now. I. CAN'T. STOP. THINKING. ABOUT. HIM.  
  
Me  
  
~*~  
  
A few days later everyone was at breakfast. James and Lily were sitting on one side of the table, Sirius and Cayte were on the other side. Remus was sitting next to James, across from Ashley, his girlfriend. Peter was by Lily. In general no one wanted to be by Sirius and Cayte, they flirted a bit too much and had been known to kick others instead of themselves on accident.  
  
Suddenly Dumbledore stood up. "I have an announcement to make. In two Saturdays time, it will be Halloween. This year, I would like to hold a dance. Now I kno-" Dumbledore stopped, no one could hear for all the cheering. When all noise had subsided, he continued.  
  
"Now I know that this is short notice but I figured you wouldn't mind. If you have them, you should wear dress robes, if not, we will take a trip to Hogsmead to get them. Thank you" With that Dumbledore sat down and listened to all of the excited chattering.  
  
At the Gryffindor table, James looked over at Lily, made eye contact, and with they had both agreed on gong. Remus then followed suit. Sirius quickly stood up.  
  
"I-I-I have to go to the library to work on that essay.."  
  
"What essay?" James asked.  
  
"Uh, uh that one for McGonagall," he said quickly running off.  
  
Cayte looked a bit confused. "What essay for McGonagall?"  
  
"I have no idea," Remus said. They all got up and headed toward their respective classes. James Remus and Peter towards the north tower for Divinations, while Lily, Ashley, and Cayte went towards the dungeons.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
"Get out your start charts and start work on them, class," said the divination teacher.  
  
In the back corner by a window sat the Marauders. They all pulled out things so start working on their charts.  
  
After a few minutes James looked up at Remus and said, "Wow! How interesting! My star chart says that Padfoot over there is going to ask Cayte to the dance." (AN: No, they have not become animagi yet but they know what they will become thus the nicknames are already in effect! End AN) Remus laughed then followed up with, "Yeah? Mine says he's going to ask her out shortly afterwards.." James and Remus died laughing.  
  
Peter then followed up with, "Yeah, mine says that he is in love with her!"  
  
This entire time Sirius was growing angrier by the minute. "Well guys, mine says that I'm going to beat my friends noses in after class!" That shut them all up.Meanwhile.  
  
~*~  
  
"Today we will be making a truth telling potion. You will be paired up into groups of two, except for one group of three. You all know who you're working with except for Miss Matthews, if you will please work with Miss Evans and Miss Daae."  
  
Cayte and Lily looked at each other and rolled their eyes. They both found Ashley Matthews very annoying. "Lily, I need to talk to you later. It's important."  
  
"Ok, want to walk after dinner?"  
  
"Sure, that sounds li-'  
  
"Hey! So, did Remy not look * amazing* this morning? Not that he doesn't every day. But still, he is so gorgeous. I just can't get enough of his hair, and his smile and..and."  
  
'Ashley, we have to work. Sorry, but we don't really want to hear about Remus. The two of us spend enough time with him when we spend time with our boyfriends." Lily said.  
  
"Hey! Siri is NOT my boy friend!"  
  
"He might as well be!"  
  
The class period went on like this, with random outbursts about Remus from Ashley.  
  
~*~  
  
Sirius sat in his four-poster thinking about what he wanted to do. Lily and Cayte were off talking, Remus was somewhere doing God-knows-what with his bimbo girlfriend, and James was in the commons room doing homework.  
  
This dance thing is driving me nuts, Sirius thought. Ask her to it, it can't hurt. Besides, she'll say yes, you know it. But what if she doesn't, what if someone else asks her first? It would be hell on me!  
  
Sirius sat there thinking about whether or not he should ask Cayte to the dance or not. Suddenly he heard a noise and looked up.  
  
"James? What's up?"  
  
"Nothing. Lily and I are going to the green houses to check and see how the mandrakes are coming along. Wanna come?"  
  
"No, they're back? Lily and Cayte I mean."  
  
"Yeah got back a little while ago."  
  
"Alright. See you later."  
  
James left the dormitory. Sirius got up, shook his head vigorously, then thought to himself, "Are you sure you want to do this? Yes you are."  
  
He left the dorm room and headed towards the commons room. He saw that Cayte was not there, so he turned and started to walk up the staircase to get to Cayte's room.  
  
AN: The end.TBC. I think I will get the next chappy posted later tonight! 


	6. Aida and hugs

AN: Ok, so I'm cheating. I have to. I need to put a musical in here that wasn't created until the 90's. So shoot me. It makes for a better story, believe me, you will understand.Enjoy. Chapter 6  
  
A silent teat slid down Cayte's cheek. She sat on her bed, writing a letter while listening to her music.  
  
Sirius slowly and quietly walked into the girls dormitory (something that was not an uncommon site to see) until he noticed that Cayte was crying, then he ran.  
  
Cayte looked up at him and smiled. She took off her headphones and put them around her neck, then placed her quill down on her nightstand.  
  
"Why are you crying?" Sirius asked, his voice filled with care.  
  
Wiping away a tear, Cayte chuckled to herself. "I am not upset. It's just the CD I am listening too."  
  
Sirius looked a bit confused. "I didn't think listening to Daniel Matthews Band made you cry.."  
  
"DAVE Matthews Band doesn't make me cry, I'm listening to a different CD. Aida. It's a musical. The part that I am listening to is very sad."  
  
"Oh. Aida.wasn't a witch in that?" Sirius asked, digging desperately to find something about this * thing* Cayte was talking about.  
  
"Schele Williams. Yeah, she went to one of the schools in the States. How'd you know that?"  
  
"Oh, um read it somewhere," Sirius said, hoping she couldn't tell he had gone and looked up things on Musicals. "What's the story about?"  
  
"Oh, it's wonderful. Want to listen to it with me? No, wait that would take forever. I'll just give you a synopsis. She started to tell him of what happened but then interrupted herself. "I have a much better way to do this." She slid to the end of the bed, turned over so she was lying on her stomach with her feet sticking off the edge of the bed.  
  
Sirius stared at her backside for a minute before realizing that she was getting something from under the bed. Looking closer he saw that it was a rosewood box, about two inches high, and in the shape of a big square. When looking even closer, he saw a small gold plaque on it. It read, 'Cayte, look at these when you feel lonely in London. Love, Alyson.'  
  
Cayte slowly got up from her position on the bed, placed the box down and sat cross-legged next to Sirius. "Who is Alyson?" he asked.  
  
"She is was my best friend in the States. Still is I suppose. That's who I was writing a letter to when you came in."  
  
"Oh," he said, watching as she opened the box and moved some of the things away to pull out a program. When she looked up, Sirius saw that there were tears in her eyes, and these, he knew, were not because of a CD. "Come here," he said, moving towards the pillows and pulling her to him. "Don't cry. Tell me the story."  
  
"Ok. It's just that I miss her so much." She wiped away her tears and held the program in between them. She slowly recounted everything that went on in the story, stopping when he had questions. Only once did she stop to tell him something that was not directly connected to the story.  
  
"Oooh. This happens right after 'Radames' Letter'."  
  
"Ok.?"  
  
"No. Not 'Ok.?' It's so unbelievably sweet. So, we've gotten down to the point where Radames knows that he has to make a choice. He has said and done things that have hurt Aida, but he doesn't mean to. He writes her a letter that says:  
  
'I'm Sorry for everything I've said, And for anything I forgot to say too. When things get so complicated I stumble and at best muddle through. I wish that our lives could be simple, I don't want the world, Only you. I wish I could tell you this face to face, But there's never the time, never the place, so this letter will have to do. I love you.'  
  
"I find it amazingly sweet of him." She then continued on with the story. When she got to the end, Sirius pulled her tightly to him.  
  
"That was a wonderful story. Maybe, we can see it sometime. I know I am no Alyson, that's her name, right? But I can be a fill-in.."  
  
"Um.that'd be interesting. But yeah, I guess you are sorda like her 'equivalent' I am closest to you out of all my friends here."  
  
Sirius leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "Cayte?" Sirius took a deep breath and let it out, "Will you go to the dance with me?"  
  
Cayte looked up at him and smiled, "I was wondering when you were going to ask me. Yes. Of course I will!" She jumped off the bed and screamed at the top of her lungs.  
  
When she had finished, Sirius looked at her, "What was that for?"  
  
"Well, I've been to dances before, but never have I had a date. No wait. Never have a had a date that looked as cute as you do right now." She smiled. Sirius got up, walked to her and gave her the tightest hug anyone could ever muster. Then they walked out of the room together.  
  
AN: short chapter. I know. I'm sorry, It's just that it worked so well by itself! Beccablack57@yahoo.com 


	7. Down by the Tree

AN: Ok, so as my friend dixiehnsnluver noted to me, electricity doesn't work in Hogwarts. Well, I say, GAH! (http://www.geocities.com/unibadass/arseishpage.html) That, and that it's fan fiction and I can do whatever the heck I want to! You agree? Um.Hogwarts: A History had not been published at the time and thus, no one knew that electricity didn't work at Hogwarts. This, CLEARLY, says that if one doesn't know that something won't work, who's to stop them from trying. Hogwarts: A History was wrong! LoL! Well, now that we've gotten that mess cleared up. What to write what to write. Finals ruin ones imagination sometimes. That would also be the reason for delay in this chapter..  
  
Chapter 7  
  
As they were walking down the staircase, Sirius turned to Cayte and said, "Hey, don't tell Lily or James or anyone about us going together ok?"  
  
"Yeah. You want to surprise them or something?"  
  
"You got it. They keep bugging me about how I haven't asked you, so I want them to freak out!"  
  
~*~  
  
A few days later they were all walking towards breakfast when Cayte paused. Sirius looked back towards her, wondering what was going on. From the look that was in her eyes, he knew that he should go talk to her.  
  
"Meet me by the tree during lunch," was all she said, then she ran off towards the dorms.  
  
'What could be up with her?' Sirius thought. 'Oh, well, I've been needing to talk to her privately as well.'  
  
~*~  
  
Sirius sat in divinations writing on a spare piece of parchment to clear his head.  
  
'I wonder what Cayte needs to talk to me about? I do need to talk to her though, want to make sure she doesn't think we're going out. I'm not quite ready for that. It's just not a good time for me I suppose.  
  
I hope she doesn't think we are, I don't want her to be upset or anything. That would be a first, I make a girl upset without even going out with them.'  
  
Seeing as it was a spare piece of parchment, and was pretty small, Sirius had run out of room. He folded it up and put it in his bag to put with the rest of his writings.  
  
~*~ Meanwhile ~*~  
  
Cayte was sitting in potions writing on a piece of parchment herself.  
  
'I hope Sirius doesn't get mad when I tell him that we are not going out. I don't even know if he thinks we are, but if he does, and I tell him.I've never made a guy mad before. Especially one like Siri. I get the impression that he can have a bit of a temper. Not a bad thing, just one of those things where he wouldn't be too happy if he didn't get what he wanted.He's not spoiled, just..I don't know, why does it matter?'  
  
At that point in time, Prewett walked up to survey Cayte and Lily's work. Cayte quickly put the parchment away and got to work. She wouldn't write anymore that day.  
  
~*~  
  
When everyone else was heading for lunch, Sirius escaped down a hallway he had found earlier in the year. It led to where the kitchens were. He asked the house elves for some food then started heading towards the tree.  
  
Cayte saw him approaching with the food basket and called out to him, "Oh good, you brought food, I was wondering how we would eat."  
  
Sirius sat down leaning against the tree and handed Cayte some food. "So, what are we here to talk about?" He said, mouth full of food.  
  
"Umm.." Cayte didn't know what to tell him, so she just sat there and blushed. They both finished eating, then turned and looked at each other.  
  
'I need to ask you something," they said in unison.  
  
"You first," they said again, in unison.  
  
"you don't think that we're going out do you?" again, in unison.  
  
Cayte and Sirius both laughed. Sirius was the first to stop. "Good. I'm glad that's over!" They sat in an awkward moment of silence, then Cayte broke it. "Just out of curiosity, why is it that you didn't want to be 'going out'?"  
  
Sirius sighed, James and Remus didn't even know about why it was that he didn't want a girlfriend, how was he supposed to tell her? Sirius kept the silence going, and Cayte noticed that his normally bright blue eyes had turned to gray.  
  
She scooted closer to him, "Siri?" she whispered. "What's wrong?"  
  
"It's Cassie. That's why I don't want a girlfriend. I just can't imagine having that without her to tease me about it. I have made adaptations in all aspects of my life but I am afraid to do it in that area. It's just so hard. I can't get used to it. Normally I would plan and make everything big and magnificent, and then I would ask the girl out. But I always made plans with Cassie, she helped me, and when I couldn't get something for whatever reason, she would go and get it for me. She would make sure everything went right.I can't do it." Sirius pushed his back against the tree trunk and buried his head in his hands. 'I will not cry in front of her. Not here, not now, not ever.'  
  
"Sirius? It's okay, she will be okay, and so will you. Life will get back to normal and-"  
  
Sirius interrupted her, his voice loud and angry, "THAT'S THE THING! EVERYTHING IS BACK TO NORMAL AND IT SHOULDN'T BE! * THAT'S * WHY-sorry for yelling.That's why I can't have a girlfriend, it would mean everything was completely back to normal and it shouldn't be. I should be out having fun, while she's-she's," his voice faded out and he put his head in his hands again.  
  
Cayte didn't know what to do. She just scooted as close to him as possible and put her head on his shoulder. He slowly took the arm she was leaning against and put it around her. She was comforting him, and he desperately needed it.  
  
AN: wow. I didn't know I could right such an emotional climax. Well, it was an 'emotional climax' when writing it at least. I don't know if it was for you readers. More from the tree later. Until then check out my profile and go to my journal about this page. Oh yeah, I need your help in a few areas.. 1~ I'm thinking that every five chapters or so, I will have an entry from one of the other characters. This can be from anyone except Siri or Cayte. 2~ Umm.I forgot was two was.I'll post it in the journal when I remember..That's all! 


	8. Lunchtimes at the Tree

AN: ok, so here we are with chapter eight. I would first off like to thank Dixiehnsnluver for helping me with the general track of this story. There were two choices and I couldn't decide which to use. The one I chose I liked a bit better.  
  
Chapter eight  
  
Cayte leaned against Sirius' shoulder and closed her eyes. His arm was around her, and he leaned his head down on top of hers. As they lie there, peace enwrapped them in the form of sleep.  
  
They each had there own reasons for needing comfort, and each was being met. Cayte started to dream of her life in the future.  
  
She was flying home from work. She wore a ministry robe. It looked to here like she was an Auror. She landed and was greeted by a boy with black hair. They smiled at each other then walked into the house. Sirius was sitting on the couch reading the Daily Prophet. He got up and hugged her; the boy started to laugh as Remus' head popped through the fireplace with green sludge on his robe. They all talked to him, they must have planned to go somewhere because they all got onto their broomsticks and flew off. They were landing at the leaky cauldron, and Remus was sitting at a table with three extra chairs. He was drinking a butterbeer and wav-  
  
"What der you two think you're doin' out here?" came the booming voice of Hagrid.  
  
(AN: we are no going back to before Hagrid gets here. We must see what Siri dear was dreaming.)  
  
They each had there own reasons for needing comfort, and each was being met. Sirius started to dream of his life in the future.  
  
He was lying in bed, to upset to do anything but lie there wishing he were somewhere else. Cayte walked in carrying a tray of food. A tear was sliding down her face. She set the tray down on a table next to him. Then she sat down and started trying to soothe his sadness. Dumbledore walked in. He smiled and gave Sirius a sleeping potion. The last thing he saw was Dumbledore and Cayte walking out of the ro-  
  
"What der you two think you're doin' out here?" came the booming voice of Hagrid.  
  
Cayte and Sirius were startled into waking up. Cayte woke up half smiling and Sirius has a bit of a puzzled look on his face. Then both of their faces showed a look of half confusion and half embarrassment.  
  
"Classes have started, now why aren't you in yours?" Hagrid asked (AN; I can't do Hagrid speak, sorry)  
  
"Umm." there was that unison thing again.  
  
Sirius was the first to answer, " We're sorry Hagrid. We fell asleep after doing some-"  
  
"Studying!" Cayte interjected. "We were studying and we fell asleep without realizing it. We'll just be heading back to class now. Sorry."  
  
"Oh no you don't, I'll take you to yer classes. Where ya headed?"  
  
"Transfiguration," Sirius and Cayte were both worried. Neither of them had ever skipped a class before.  
  
They reached the transfigurations classroom and Cayte and Sirius went to their seats. "Professor McGonagall, I'm sorry to have kept them so long. They were helping me with the pumpkins for Halloween."  
  
"Yes of course Hagrid. Cayte, Sirius, we are working on transfiguring a q-tip into a bunny rabbit." Hagrid left, and they each started to work on their transfigurations.  
  
Sirius slid Cayte a piece of parchment. Cayte looked down and read what it said.  
  
"Holy shit that was awesome! I can't believe Hagrid did that!"  
  
Cayte laughed inwardly and yawned. She was still tired and couldn't help thinking of her dream. Sirius on the other hand forgot all about his.  
  
"I can't wait for break. I need to listen to some Guster. They always rock when I'm in a good mood. Care to join me?" Cayte wrote  
  
"Nah. James, Peter, Lily and I have some research we need to do in the Library. We've almost found what we're looking for.'  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Sirius paused, thinking about whether or not he should tell her about Remus' lycanthropy. Either way he wouldn't tell her here. "I'll tell you later."  
  
"Ok."  
  
~*~  
  
There was a scream of excitement in the Library. "WE'VE GOT IT!!!! Yes we've got it!" Sirius and James were jumping up and down; they had found the exact ingredients to the potion that allows your body to change into an animagi.  
  
"Guys, I hate to burst your bubble, but how are we going to get all this stuff. Look, it says we need all these things that can only be found in the potions lab or on knocturn ally. There is no way we can do this!"  
  
"Yeah we can Lily. I'll give you my invisibility cloak. You can go after it."  
  
"That's all right, you can get it all."  
  
It was Peter who spoke up next. "How will they know what to get? You're the only person who knows what it all looks like!"  
  
"He is right Lily," Sirius said. "Maybe we can all go."  
  
"Let's just figure it out later. We've got to tell Remus!" Sirius said, already running to the commons room.  
  
Once in the commons room they told Remus to meet them in the dorms. Lily came too, although she was so nervous about being caught that she didn't hear a word that was said. Remus was very excited, they all agreed to have a small party when they got back from the Hogsmeade weekend. Everyone started to go downstairs but Sirius asked Remus to stay behind for a minute.  
  
"Hey! Um.Can I tell Cayte about the lycanthropy and all? I know you don't like people to know so I wanted to ask."  
  
Remus gave a startled look. "Uh. why do you want to tell her in the first place?"  
  
"She was asking what we were looking for in the Library and I told her I'd tell her later. She wouldn't tell a soul Remy. Really.."  
  
"And you know she wouldn't go and tell the whole school? Sirius I just don't know."  
  
"I tell her everything. I mean everything too, things that no one knows, not even James. She hasn't told one person anything. She wouldn't.."  
  
"She seems nice. Not that bad really. I have been told that I should let others know sometimes.I'm just so afraid that she would hate me after that."  
  
Sirius suddenly ran to his trunk and pulled a piece of parchment out. "Read this. Cayte wrote it to me awhile ago."  
  
Remus looked at the paper and read what it said;  
  
"I would never hate anyone for something as minor as religion, race, hell even if they were some monstrous creature. As long as they are nice.Well, not all the time, there are some things you just can't help not liking. My friend once owned a wolf at the zoo. I didn't even hate that after it tried to bite me. Never come across a werewolf but I always wondered if they were nice as humans."  
  
After he finished reading the last part, he handed it back to Sirius. "Wow. She is great isn't she? She always did seem to be filled with love. I suppose you can tell her." Remus walked off. He knew he'd be embarrassed to see Cayte for the next few days, she would know his secret.  
  
~*~  
  
"An animagi? What the heck is that? And why do you desire to become one?" Cayte asked somewhat surprised.  
  
It was another lunchtime at the tree, only this time they wouldn't fall asleep.  
  
"It's where you can change into an animal of some sort at will. Just by muttering a spell. First you have to drink this potion, which is wicked hard to make, then after that at any point in time you can change into your animal."  
  
"Ok, but why do you want to do this? Besides the fact that it would be totally awesome!" Cayte said, still curious.  
  
"Cayte, if I tell you this, you must swear to me that you will never tell a soul. Never! Do you understand? This is of vital importance."  
  
"Yeah sure. I won't. I've never told anyone about things you have told me. Why would I do it now?"  
  
Sirius quickly followed up, leaving no pause in between his and Cayte's words. "Remus is a werewolf."  
  
"What?"  
  
AN: gotta end on that note. It's great isn't if. If I get the chance I will type of chappy nine tonight and send it to myself via email so I can update when I'm gone. Other wise it'll be around Monday before you know what happens. You can, however, visit my online journal that is posted in my profile to see what could happen.thank you. 


	9. a day meant for sleeping

AN: It's exactly three o'clock in the morning, and what am I doing? Updating this ficcy of course. Now, don't you know how much I care about you, the reader. I decide to type up chappy nine for you all and post it so that you won't be lonely for the next three to four days.it's short, but keep in mind that it's 3:01 am now and I just want to let you know what happens..  
  
Chapter Nine  
  
  
  
"He's a werewolf. Cayte listen you can't-" Sirius was interrupted by Cayte's overjoyed comments.  
  
"That is SO great! I can't believe I am friends with a werewolf. Ohhh, I get it now. The whole animagi thing. You want to keep Remus company when he's changed and you can't do that in human form."  
  
"Always knew you were smart. Quick too, that's one of the reasons I like you..did I just say that out loud?" Sirius asked, his face turning a bit red.  
  
"Yeah, you said it out loud, but that's okay. It's a reason I like you. You speak your mind, there is proof of that in what you just said." Cayte laughed at Sirius' face. He was so embarrassed about what he had just said. "Oh, Siri. Stop, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I've known that you like me, you've known that I like you, it's just that neither of us wants to be a couple. Stop going red. Back to the animagi thing. I do plan on becoming one with you. I want to se-"  
  
"Uhh, no you aren't. James, Peter and I are the only ones becoming animagi when we do. Lily looked up all the stuff but she's not asking James to be one too. That just doesn't make sense!"  
  
"No, Sirius Black, what doesn't make sense is how embarrassed you were about what you said before, but yet, you compare the two of us to James and Lily? The two of them will get married and have kids and a family and stuff. We all know that. But us? And where do you get off comparing me to Lily? She and I are totally different and.and." Cayte sighed heavily. She was infuriated. 'Why does he care if im can change into an animal whenever the hell I feel like it? And what's with the schizophrenia? I can't take it."  
  
Sirius tried to stop her from running off. It wasn't that he didn't want her to become an animagus with him, it was just that he didn't want her to become and animagus with him and James and Peter. They most definitely wouldn't like the idea.  
  
~*~  
  
"Dude! That would be so great!" James said when Sirius told him about Cayte wanting to be an animagus. (AN: 'nuff said)  
  
~*~  
  
Sirius,  
  
Your mother and I have reasons to believe that this year you and your so-called friends will plan on doing something totally out of the ordinary. We ask that you behave yourself. Find a nice girl and don't do anything that might cause you to get into trouble. Please. Ryan needs you there. He's so wonderful and * he* never steps out of bounds. Sometimes I wish you were more like him. Or-Cassie.  
  
Your father, Mereb ~*~  
  
Sirius read the letter and his day got a little bit worse. First, Cayte gets mad at him for some unbeknownst reason, then James actually WANTS her to become and animagus with them, and now this. His parents, once again, don't trust him. And WHY do they think I will do something that is not 'right'? He sighed wishing he knew all the answers and had parents that trusted him. 'Great,' he thought to himself, ' now I want to be like James..'  
  
~*~  
  
Cayte,  
  
WOW! That guy you told me about sounds GREAT! And so sweet too. Everything's cool up here. I moved to Connecticut recently and so I see a lot of shows with Nicole and Chenna. We all miss you so much. They even got you some stuff at the shows! I think you have a lapel pin from every GD show that runs on Broadway! You did always say that you wanted pins to cover your camera case, so I guess that helps.  
  
Don't stress about that stuff. And don't worry about not ever seeing me. We'll see each other soon enough. How can you live over there, not seeing anyone you know? Wait, I know the answer. Serious. Isn't that his name.no wait. Siri? No, Sirius. That's it. You'll be fine. Maybe he has some friends that..  
  
Cayte was crying after reading the first paragraph of her letter from Alyson. She couldn't stand reading the second. Sirius was horrible and who wanted to talk to him? She could make it without him AND his stupid friends. 'Wait.why am I mad at him?' she thought, 'Oh, who cares why. I am. He tried to restrict me from doing something I wanted to do. That's why. But, maybe he had a good reason, and had you listened to him instead of running off, you would have understood.'  
  
Cayte ran up to the girls' dorms, then ran to her bed, leaping onto it she closed the curtains and buried her head in the pillow. 'Why is life so hard? Why do I have to like him so much? And WHY is it that my mind tells me one thing, then follows it up with a contradicting thought?' She thought about writing to Alyson, but knew that it would be no help. She sat there all day, sleeping with her head forced down in her pillow. She skipped all her classes without realizing it.  
  
Lily ran in after dinner and shook Cayte awake. "You slept throughout the day! You missed all your classes too. Cayte? What's wrong?" Lily asked, still amazed at what was going on.  
  
"Huh? What time is it?" Cayte said, still trying to wake up.  
  
"It's roughly seven PM. You disappeared in the middle of breakfast and we assumed you'd come down. It was only in Transfigurations, which we had last today, that I realized you had been gone the whole day. Don't worry Sirius and James took down notes.though with their handwriting, maybe you should worry." Lily said, trailing off.  
  
"Thanks," was all Cayte could mumble. She realized why she was so stressed out, and why she had slept all day when Lily mentioned Sirius. Alyson's letter. Wow. It was strange how one thing could make your world change so drastically.  
  
Sirius suddenly burst into the room. "Cayte? What's going on?" Cayte didn't answer though. Instead she turned her face away from the reason she was so upset. 'Don't think about it,' she said to herself.  
  
"Lily? Do you know?" Sirius asked. He was getting a bit worried now.  
  
"Nope, can't say that I do, and even if I did, it doesn't look as if she wants to talk to you anyway." Lily said, walking off, expecting Sirius to follow her.  
  
But he didn't. Instead he sat down on her bed, and stroked her hair. "Cayte? Listen to me. I know you're mad about the animagus thing, but I don't want you to be. Please, will you just hear me out?" He asked desperately.  
  
"Likely chance.." she scoffed.  
  
"Ok then," Sirius said, a little bit disheartened. "How about this? I hear you out, listening to why you want to become and animagus, and you hear me out on why I don't want you to. Does that work?"  
  
"In thought yes. In all actuality? No," Cayte said turning over. Maybe she would forgive and forget. 'I'll just drop the issue for now,' she thought to herself, 'for now.'  
  
"Why is that?"  
  
"Because I'm willing to drop the issue for now. Don't want to hear about it again, Don't want to discuss it for fear of another fight and-" She was interrupted by McGonagall's voice.  
  
"Cayte?" They could hear her coming up the staircase.  
  
"Quick! Under the bed!" whispered Cayte.  
  
"Oh, there you are. Now why weren't you in any of your classes today? Are you feeling alright?"  
  
"Better than before, ma'am. I was sleeping because I didn't feel that well, am I in a terrible amount of trouble?"  
  
"In that case no. But please refrain from doing it again. If you don't feel well, go se Madame Pomfrey (SP?)." with that she left.  
  
Sirius crawled out from under the bed and hugged Cayte tightly. He had reason to celebrate. He had gotten away with being in a girls dorm, and she was no longer mad at him. 'For now.' her words lingered on in his mind. 'What could she mean by that?'  
  
"Tomorrows a Hogsmead day. Have you got a dress to wear to the dance yet? We can go and pick one up," Sirius said.  
  
" Well, no I don't have one, but Lily and I are going to look for them. I told her I was going alone. I kept our little secret. You and your guy friends get to have a day away from Lily and me. Aren't you excited?"  
  
"Hell yeah. You guys can be such a pain!" Sirius said, jokingly. He and Cayte got up and walked off towards the kitchens. Cayte hadn't eaten a thing all day.  
  
AN: WOW! Longer than I thought it would be. Its now 4:51 am. I typed that long. I kept having to backspace stuff. Crazy. Hope you enjoy. I will not be updating until Monday most probably, but if you have any questions you can reach me at: Beccablack57@yahoo.com Bye!!! 


	10. Hogsmead with dresses

AN: Hey! Wow four days w/o being able to type what I was thinking about for this chappy. It was agony. Really. I'm so glad to be back here writing my fic. Now, to address another issue. I am beginning to think that Ciria is the only person who reads this. If you write fics you know what it is like when you don't get reviews. It's degrading, it makes me feel like no one reads (save Ciria) and so I ask you this one thing. Review. If you don't review, well, email me. I don't care just let me know you are reading.. That's all for now.  
  
Chapter 10  
  
  
  
Cayte,  
  
Your father is doing well, the doctors said that with the surgery to remove the tumor, and chemo he should be okay in a few years. So long that the cancer didn't spread of course. Which they are pretty sure it didn't. He got a job here. Works for a company that sells stuff for computers. Inside sales job, so that's good. In all actuality he might be able to sell a few computers too. He's the manager at the branch- I suppose you would call it that- and the people that he works with seem nice. The good news is that they (the company) are letting him have time off for the chemo and everything else.  
  
There is a bad thing though. We have to move to Scotland. That's where they want him, and luckily my boss says it's ok for me to transfer there. I know it's horrible for you to have to move like this, but I promise we will try and keep you in the same school. They do allow that, right?  
  
We tried to convince your dad's boss to let us stay here, but he said that the only way for him to keep the job was to move. And you just don't come across a company like this that much. They're a fairly well known company over here I believe. MB Inc. Their CEO is Mereb Black. Your father and I have been invited to his house for a Halloween party. I think they have a son about your age.  
  
I will keep your room in our new house empty, you can decide on what you want it to look like when you see it. It's twice the size of your room in America so you should be happy.  
  
Love always  
  
Sylvia-Mom  
  
Cayte read the letter. Such a mix between good and bad. There was no telling what the move could mean. And yet, Cayte didn't mind so much. Her mom didn't realize that wizards from all over Great Britain came to Hogwarts. Sirius and James were from England, and Lily from Scotland, and Remus from Whales, same with Peter. She would still have her friends. She didn't know anyone from the neighborhood they lived in now anyway.  
  
Lily saw the sort of half smile half frown on Cayte's face, she wondered what was wrong, and walked over to her friend.  
  
"What's up?" Lily asked.  
  
"Oh, not much really. My dad's doing okay, but we have to move to Scotland." she replied.  
  
"Well, I suppose it's good about your dad, and as far as Scotland go, I live there and James comes to see me all the time during break, so it is possible for you to see Sirius." Lily trailed off, assuming that was the cause for Cayte's frown.  
  
Suddenly Cayte got up; " I gotta go and get some stuff together for the Hogsmead trip. See ya in a few!" she said, running off quickly.  
  
~*~  
  
Sirius was folding up a piece of parchment and heading towards the commons room to get ready for Hogsmead when he saw Cayte run by. "Cayte! Where are you going?" (AN: hums Dave Matthews's song entitled: where are you going?) She stopped and waited for him to catch up with her. When he did, she noticed him shoving a piece of parchment into his cloak.  
  
"What's that?" she asked, speaking of the parchment.  
  
"Oh, nothing.don't worry about it. Why were you running so fast?"  
  
Cayte still wondered about the paper but shrugged it off, 'He'll tell me eventually' she thought. "Oh, just felt like running I guess." she said, a very light shade of pink creeping up her neck.  
  
"I was just headed towards the commons room to get some stuff for Hogsmead. Wanna come?"  
  
"Actually, that was where I was going to as well."  
  
They headed off down the corridors and soon they were all on their way to Hogsmead. Cayte, Lily, Sirius and James were in one carriage, while Remus, Peter, and girl named Melanie were in another.  
  
Once arriving in Hogsmeade, the groups split up. The future Marauders went to Zonko's among other places, while Lily, Cayte and Melanie went to Madame Malkin's to look for dress robes.  
  
"So when do you think Sirius is gonna ask Cayte out?" Peter asked, truthfully being rather brave to bring it up.  
  
"I'm NOT planning on asking her out any time soon. Got that Pete?" Sirius said, a little agitated.  
  
"Yeah, well I said the same thing two weeks before I asked Lily out," James said, cockily.  
  
Meanwhile Remus was just kind of smirking, with his hands deep in his pockets, starting of into space.  
  
"Hey Moony, what are you looking at. And why is it that you looks so.I don't know, Moonstruck?" Sirius said, not realizing the pun he was making.  
  
"Nice one guys.real nice. Actually I was just thinking I was going to ask someone out." Remus said, surprising all of the others.  
  
"Who?" they all said in unison.  
  
Remus just stared off, looking in the direction of where Cayte, Lily, and Melanie were walking. They all followed his gaze and when Sirius saw that he was looking in Cayte's general direction, he stopped dead in his path. The others kept walking, even though they were sort of shocked. They knew it meant either Cayte or Melanie, Lily was already accounted for.  
  
Once they realized Sirius wasn't with them, they all turned around. They saw Sirius standing furiously in the middle of the road. "HOW COULD YOU?" he screamed. He assumed Remus was talking about Cayte.  
  
Sirius ran forward ready to punch Moony. He didn't really know what he was doing.  
  
"What? Decide I want a girlfriend?" Remus said quietly, trying to get heads to look the * other* way. "I didn't know you had any interest in Melanie," Remus said, while James held his hand back. As soon as what Remus had said sunk in, Sirius lowered his hand and calmed down a bit.  
  
"Melanie? No, of course not. I thought you were looking at Cayte." Sirius said, a bit relieved but still a bit scared at himself. He had almost hit his best friend over Cayte. ' I almost hit my best friend over Cayte. I have to get control of myself.' He though.  
  
"But you don't like Cayte at all do you?" Peter laughed. He really was being brave today. Remus was a bit weary of Sirius the rest of the trip, you don't almost get hit by someone and then become chummy chummy.  
  
Meanwhile the girls completely missed this whole 'episode'. They were caught up in a discussion about how * most* of the guys at Hogwarts were pretty brainless.  
  
"I don't mean to be mean to them or anything, but could they get a *little * bit of sense in them? Or maturity? The only four mature - no I take that back, somewhat mature - guys in Gryffindor are Remus, James, Peter, and Sirius," Melanie said.  
  
"Wow it was even in order!" Lily said.  
  
"Your admitting that your boyfriend isn't mature? Wow. Oh, and Melanie, Sirius is mature, you just have to get to know him more. He can be really sweet. Like this one time, I was upset because my-"  
  
"Which one is this, your dad, Alyson, or is it new?" Lily said. Every sixth year girl had heard these stories time and time again. "And I know that James isn't as mature as Remus, but Remus has reason to be a bit more mature. Sirius, well, he's just a big goofball except for sometimes."  
  
"Why does Remy have reason to be more mature?" Melanie asked, using the nickname that she had started to call him around the other sixth year girls. They all knew how much she liked him.  
  
"Oh, because his parents don't stand for immaturity. They ground him if he acts that way." Cayte said, making something up quickly to cover for Lily's botch.  
  
The girls were now perusing the dress robes at Madame Malkin's. Lily almost immediately found a robe she liked. It was a long, princess cut robe, that was the exact same color green as her eyes. "Wow! You will look outstanding in that!" Melanie said.  
  
"If only I could find a robe that matched my eyes the same," Cayte said.  
  
"Oh, but you can, really, and if it's not close enough, they can dye it the exact color in seconds!" Lily commented, walking up to the front to pay for her robe.  
  
Cayte and Melanie looked around the store. Melanie found her dress shortly after Lily did ("Now if only I had Remy to dance with!"). Cayte still looked for the perfect dress. Lily and Melanie started to help her.  
  
"How about this one?" Melanie asked, holding up a pale blue robe.  
  
"No. it's not * the* one, I'll know it when I see it."  
  
After awhile of this, Lily and Melanie decided to go and get some butterbeer. Cayte said she'd catch up when she found the right one.  
  
~*~  
  
Cayte walked into the Three Broomsticks with nothing in her hands. Observing the scene as she was walking towards where the Marauders were sitting, along with the rest of her friends she noticed that Melanie and Remus were getting rather close. She also took note that they were holding hands under the table. Cayte smiled. She was happy for them.  
  
"Didn't you get a dress?" Lily asked,  
  
"Yeah, I had Madame Malkin send it to Hogwarts for me," Cayte said, responding to Lily's question. In a low whisper she added, "They going out?"  
  
Sirius looked at her and nodded, then leaned in close and said, " He asked her out shortly after they got here. Been like that ever since," Sirius smiled.  
  
~*~  
  
Once back at Hogwarts, all the girls wanted to show off their dresses. Cayte sat quietly on her four-poster and just admired them all. When they asked about hers she just said that she wanted to debut it on Halloween.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
AN: Due to the length of time since I last updated I will stop here. Nothing really important happened in this chapter, but it took long enough for me to write. I'm sorry if there are any inconsistencies that I forgot about, if you find any let me know. As stated before, PLEASE REVIEW! 


	11. How do you work this thing?

AN: School starts up again on Tuesday, so I will try as hard as possible to get a few chapters typed and saved so that it won't be forever and a day for you all. As annoying as it is on me to deal with it, I take it sometimes it's hard for the readers to deal with an author that doesn't update (Heck, I know it is). I should be able to get one or two typed up my Mon. and then I can have them up at random points in time.http://www.deardiary.net/show/diaries/71530/ For update on how goes the story, go there. LoL.  
  
Chapter 11  
  
Hey,  
  
I got I the/I perfect dress. I won't say anything about it here, for fear of someone finding it. I want it to be a complete surprise. Maybe, I MAYBE/I I'll let Siri look at it.definitely maybe though. I can't have people knowing what I'm going to wear. Did I just say that? That is something I would never expect to some out of me. I've never been so excited about a dance before.. Could it be the person that I'm going with? I think so.  
  
Well, I will say the color, but only here and only to Siri. It's the perfect shade of blue. It matches my eyes perfectly, as well as Siri's, so I think that will be wonderful to see. In pictures at least. Breaks over, to Transfiguration I go.Animagus is a form of transfiguration.Maybe I should pay special attention in that class, I sill gotta convince Siri that I can become and Animagi with him.  
  
Me  
  
~*~  
  
Cayte rushed to Transfiguration, just making it to her seat when the bell rang. "Whew," she sighed, leaning onto Sirius in a mock faint. The class laughed and Sirius put his arm around her. "What were you running from?" he whispered into her ear. "Writing, time got away from me," she said.  
  
Sirius kept whispering things, and as much as Cayte wanted to listen and flirt and do those types of things, she remembered what she had written about Transfiguration and Animagi. "Sirius, I'm trying to hear what she's saying," Cayte whispered, sounding a tad bit annoyed. Sirius got worried, was Cayte still mad at him for his not wanting her to become an Animagi with him. He loved the thought, cherished it really, but it just wasn't right. It would be like guys night out with a girl tagging along. Not gonna happen. She can't still be mad, can she?  
  
The Transfiguration lesson went on that way, Cayte listening intently, hoping for some clue as to how to become an Animagus, and Sirius wondering how to convince Cayte not to become one.  
  
After the class was over, Lily and Cayte went off one way, while the Marauders went another.  
  
~*~  
  
The days until the dance were passing very quickly and before anyone knew it, it was the day before Halloween. A Thursday that seemed like it passed slower than a one legged turtle (AN: wow.interesting analogy), but alas it was dinnertime and Dumbledore was standing up to make an announcement.  
  
"Students and Teachers, tomorrow is the Halloween Dance that we have all been looking forward to. I trust that you cannot wait? Well, I know you are all very much looking forward to going to classes and such tomorrow, but seeing as the occasion calls for you all to dress up, I am calling off classes." There was a loud uproar from the students, once they quieted down, Dumbledore continued. "I do this mainly because so many of you students, especially the female half of you, would say that it was not fair of me to call up such an event on a school day. You will all have to day to do the necessary things to prepare for the night. Students may visit Hogsmead to prepare, though only with special permission from your Head of House. Thank you." No one could hear a thing except for noisy chatter going on between the students. Several stood up to go owl in for appointments, others just to go to their dormitories. Lily and Cayte were some who got up to go to a different place.  
  
~*~  
  
Cayte had happened upon the secret room in Hogwarts a couple of months ago, but had yet to tell anyone but Lily about it. She had been heading towards the front doors to go to the lake, when she stumbled and fell. One of the paintings called out to her, asking if she were ok, she then began a conversation with it and the painting invited her in. At first Cayte was startled but then the painting had said that it was just a secret hide out, located inside the painting. Cayte said she would go, and the painting told her what to say.  
  
Now Cayte and Lily often disappeared there to discuss matters that they didn't want someone else over hearing. They came here especially in the time of Ashley, and now they were thinking of telling Melanie about it, they liked her, and were glad Remus had found someone bearable.  
  
"I can't wait to see what you guys think when you see the dress," Cayte said, walking up to the painting on the main level. "Semigro postis," Cayte said, and they watched as the painting literally opened up for them, just as a door would had they said it to that, then as the opening grew bigger so that they could both walk inside.  
  
The room was as big as one of the dorms, with a fireplace, and an intricate dome ceiling that was carved with various pictures and shapes.  
  
"Then why don't you just show it to us now?" Lily asked anxiously, sitting down in one of the soft arm chairs, and lighting a fire in the fireplace.  
  
"Because, I want it to be a surprise," Cayte said, she almost let it slip that she and Sirius were going together but she caught herself before she mentioned it.  
  
"Oh come on, you aren't even going with anyone, why does it matter what dress you wear, no one has to match it," Lily said, rolling her eyes at the pitiful idea of not letting others know what you wore.  
  
"Yeah, but you aren't letting anyone know except for Melanie and I, and that's only because we were with you when you got it."  
  
"That's different. Don't ask how, but trust me it is."  
  
"How?"  
  
"I told you not to ask, and I have no idea.."  
  
The girls both fell into a fit of laughter, they fell out of their chairs and started to roll on the ground. Then they realized how silly they were being and it got even worse. Soon they were interrupted by the familiar voice of the painting, "You must quiet down, dearies, someone will hear you!" When that was said, they quieted down and climbed into their chairs. They sat and talked for awhile about the day to come and what they would do. They were planning on doing each other's hair, as well as Melanie's, and they would each do their own make up. Before they knew it, it was time they left and went to the commons room so it didn't seem too suspicious.  
  
~*~  
  
In the commons room, they found that after they had left, many of the teachers didn't like Dumbledore's idea, and wanted to hold class, but (thankfully!) Dumbledore insisted. Sirius gave Cayte a certain look that told her he needed to talk to her privately. She told Lily she was running up to her trunk to get a book, hoping Sirius would get the clue to follow. He did, and told the rest of the group that he was going to bed early, and he planned on sleeping late (he especially pointed this out to James, who had a tendency to get him- as well as the rest of the boys- up at the crack of dawn). He ran up the staircase, and found Cayte waiting just before the girls dorm.  
  
Sirius made a sweeping motion with his hand, suggesting that they go in to talk, but Cayte shook her head. 'The place is crawling with dresses and things that he should definitely not see.Sirius looking at all of our underclothes.'. Sirius then made another motion with his hand, telling her to follow him. Soon they were in front of the boys dorms. Sirius walked in and towards his four-poster, but Cayte remained outside the door. She had never been in her before, and she had never really thought she'd enter. Sirius looked at her, stood up and walked to the door.  
  
"What? You never questioned my going in your dorms," he said, picking her up and carrying her to a chair. She laughed into his shoulder. It was just like him to do something like that to get what he wanted without realizing how strangely romantic it seemed to her.  
  
"What's up?" Cayte asked, still laughing.  
  
"I wanted to know if I could borrow your.. er.. what's it called? CD player? With the Greatest hits of Sting & the police CD."  
  
Cayte gave him a puzzled look. Why was he suddenly taking interest in Sting, * and the police*? "Yeah, I guess. You have to give it back to me tommorow though, the girls and I will need some form of entertainment while we get ready," Cayte got up and headed towards the door. Sirius followed, but stopped right before the doorway to the girls dorms, she hadn't wanted him in there before, she wouldn't now. Cayte re appeared in the doorway with the CD player and CD. "Here, have fun.?" Sirius laughed, then made sure that no one was looking, and kissed her on her cheek.  
  
Cayte giggled and blushed. "What have you never been kissed before or something?" Sirius asked. At that Cayte looked at her feet and, though it didn't seem possible, turned a brighter shade of red. "Oh my God, you really haven't? Wow," Sirius laughed, and Cayte got mad. "Don't make fun of me 'cause I'm sixteen and I've never been kissed before!" she said.  
  
"Hey, I wasn't, it's just that I've never been someone's 'first kiss' before. IF you can call that a kiss," he trailed off. He smiled at her and said good night and headed up to his dorms.  
  
Cayte started picking up the dorm room, putting 'unmentionables' away, and folding clothes, hiding dresses, and other things to make the room look like it was a room. A knock came on the door. "Come in," Cayte called. Sirius walked in with a confused look on his face. "Umm.How does this thing work?"  
  
  
  
  
  
END FOR NOW! Sorry, I'm just having the worst trouble. I have the feeling that, like my friends, school seems to be an inspiration to me when it comes down to it. I just can't get out the motivation to get the story going. Next chappy is the dance, so it might be Sunday or so before it comes out. I never got it typed up due to the above reasons. Sorry if some of this chappy sounds stupid, or is confusing, email me if it does. In particular, I'd appreciate it if Ciria would email me. Just wanna chat so-to-speak. The email is on my bio but I'll list it again (beccablack57@yahoo.com). There you are now EMAIL ME!!!! REVIEW!!!! I have realized recently that there was  
  
A~ no disclaimer, that has been added to chapter one, if you want you can read it but its very boring.  
  
B~ CD players etc. most likely weren't around in 1976..oh well, its fan fic.  
  
REVIEW!!!! 


	12. THE dance

AN: Where do I start? Well, first off I would like to make a MAJOR apology. That last chapter was so not up to what it should have been. I shouldn't have posted it in its condition, but I figured I would anyway. It was bad. I am sorry. PLEASE FORGIVE ME! The other thing is that I'm sorry I forgot to take out the two HTML codes that I left in there. I was thinking about trying to get the chappy in HTML but changed my mind, I guess those two code got away from me. I guess in addition to that, This chapter will be the one with the dance. Are there any surprises? Who knows.Read on!  
  
Chapter 12 (which will be much longer the chapter 11..or should be)  
  
  
  
Friday morning when the girls woke up, Cayte immediately knew it would definitely be a day filled with music for her. She reached over for her CD player which usually was on her nightstand and found it missing. She sat up quickly, worried about where it would be. After a minute of looking through her trunk, she remembered that she had lent it to Sirius the night before. She looked around to see whom else was awake, and saw that she was the only one. It was 11 o'clock and everyone else was asleep.  
  
Slowly she crept up the staircase, afraid of waking others, she turned into the boys dorms and was startled by a loud snoring sound. She laughed silently realizing that James was the owner of the snores. Walking over to Sirius bed, she saw that he was still wearing the headphones. 'No, wait, the CD's still playing!' she looked down and saw that it was on repeat. 'It must have been playing all night long!' Slowly she took the headphones off of his ears and made an attempt at sneaking out of the room.  
  
"Cayte?" Sirius whispered.  
  
Cayte turned around, blushing. She hadn't meant to wake him. She held up the CD player to show him why she was there.  
  
"Oh. Ok, hang on a second," Sirius said, still whispering. He got out of bed, rubbed his eyes, and put on a terry cloth robe. Cayte was shocked. She had never seen that before. "I'll be back in a second. Stay here." Sirius grabbed some clothes and went to the bathrooms to change. Cayte walked over and sat on the ground next to his trunk. Looking around, she noticed a lot of his clothes were just pilled around his four poster. She got up, and started folding them up, she always was one for keeping some things strait. When she picked up one of his school robes, a piece of parchment fell out of an inside pocket. She picked it up and realized it was the paper that he had been tucking away the day of the Hogsmeade trip, the one he had been so secretive about. The battle of her conscience had begun, would she look at it or not? She judged the amount of time she had left before Sirius came back into the room and decided that she could take a quick look. If it look *too * personal, she would put it back.  
  
Carefully she unfolded part of the parchment. What she saw confused her. It was just a map of the inside of Hogwarts. Nothing special, just a map. Cayte was so intently trying to figure out what was up with this map that she didn't realize Sirius had come back in the room. He walked up and peered over her shoulder. "Where'd you find that?" Sirius asked. Cayte jumped, "You scared me! I was folding up some of your clothes that were on the floor- it's a compulsive habit of mine, when I don't know what to do, I fold clothes- and it fell out. I was trying to see if it was a homework assignment of something. Sorry."  
  
"Oh, it's alright. I guess. It's a map of the inside of Hogwarts. I'll tell you more about it later, when I'm not worried about eavesdroppers," Sirius laughed, "strange habit, folding clothes." They both walked out the dorms and down to the commons room talking. Soon enough everyone was awake and it was time for lunch. Cayte ran and put the CD player up and then went down to eat.  
  
~*~ In life, one has to face a huge assortment  
  
Of nauseating fads and good advice.  
  
There's health and fitness, diet and deportment  
  
And other pointless forms of sacrifice  
  
Conversation? Wit? I am a doubter  
  
Manners, charm, they're no way to impress  
  
So forget the inner me, observe the outer  
  
I am what I wear, and how I dress  
  
Oh, now I believe in looking  
  
Like my time on earth is cooking  
  
Whether polka-dotted, striped, or even checked  
  
With some glamour guaranteeing  
  
Every fiber of my being  
  
Is displayed to quite remarkable effect  
  
From your cradle via trousseau  
  
To your death bed you're on view so  
  
Never compromise accept no substitute  
  
I would rather wear a barrel  
  
Than conservative apparel  
  
For a dress has always been  
  
My strongest suit  
  
  
  
GIRLS:  
  
Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere  
  
Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere  
  
  
  
AMNERIS:  
  
Staying in or hitting townwards,  
  
From the top and working downwards  
  
I ensure that every stitch is stitched in time  
  
  
  
GIRLS: Is stitch is stitched in time!  
  
  
  
AMNERIS:  
  
Whether wig or hat or turban,  
  
whether clad boudoir or urban  
  
Not to strut your stuff outrageously is a crime  
  
  
  
GIRLS: Such a crime!  
  
  
  
AMNERIS:  
  
and the few who are invited  
  
To my wardrobe are delighted  
  
As they wander through my things to find en route  
  
GIRLS: They're wanderin' through your things!  
  
AMNERIS:  
  
That in negligee or formal  
  
I am anything but normal  
  
A dress has always been my strongest suit  
  
  
  
GIRLS:  
  
Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere  
  
Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere  
  
Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere  
  
Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere  
  
AMNERIS: (Sung with chorus above)  
  
I am what I wear, I say anytime, anywhere!  
  
So bring me all my finest,  
  
Most audacious, my divinest  
  
Most revealing, most expensive and to boot  
  
GIRLS:  
  
Most revealing, most expensive, most arresting!  
  
AMNERIS: Most arresting!  
  
GIRLS: Most heart-stopping...  
  
AMNERIS: Most heart-stopping!  
  
Most free-flowing, most eye-popping  
  
Most arresting, most heart-stopping yeah!  
  
A dress has always been my strongest suit  
  
GIRLS: I am what I wear  
  
AMNERIS: My strongest suit!  
  
GIRLS: I am what I wear  
  
AMNERIS and GIRLS:  
  
You know that I am what I wear!  
  
AMNERIS:  
  
A dress has always been my strongest suit!  
  
So bring me all my finest,  
  
Most audacious, my divinest  
  
Most revealing, most expensive and to boot  
  
Most arresting, most heart-stopping...  
  
Most free-flowing, most eye-popping  
  
A dress has always been my strongest suit! (I am what I wear)  
  
My strongest suit! (I am what I wear)  
  
You know that I am what I wear!  
  
A dress has always been my strongest...  
  
my strongest...  
  
my strongest...  
  
my strongest...  
  
my strongest...  
  
my strongest...  
  
Suit!  
  
"Lily?" Cayte screamed over the sound of the magical hair dryer and the end of the song that she had found only too fitting for the occasion, "I need an eyeliner. Blue. Do ya have one I can borrow?"  
  
It was six o'clock. Dinner was at seven, the dance at eight.  
  
"Yeah! I'll get it to you in a minute. Lemme finish Mel's hair!" Lily said.  
  
"Lily? Where'd ya learn to do this stuff? Up-do's and such?" Melanie asked, it was a question they all had.  
  
"Oh, well my oldest sister, Gladiola, was learning how to do them with all her friends for one of the muggle high school dances when I was 10. She taught me how to do it as she practiced on my hair."  
  
"Gladiola?"  
  
"Flower. We all call her Lola though. It works a lot better than Gladiola, believe me." Lily said. "So what was that song?"  
  
"Oh, that was "My Strongest Suit" from Aida. It's great, and I thought it would be funny to play while we were getting dressed because it's about clothes!" Cayte said.  
  
Meanwhile, the guys were hanging out in the commons room. "Ever notice how when going to the dance, those who are going together always walk arm in arm where as the people who are just going alone walk side by side with there hands down?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Nope, can't say that I have," James responded.  
  
"Why do you notice these things?" Peter asked, Remus was wondering the same thing.  
  
"Well, when you think about it, that's what happens. Review your memories, you figure out quite a lot," Sirius said.  
  
"Hmmm.I suppose you're right," Remus said, "I do recall that happening a lot."  
  
"So, are we all going to dinner before hand?" Peter asked.  
  
"I would think so. I can go ask Cayte if you want."  
  
"Um, Sirius, I wouldn't do that if I were you. Girls before dances.a tad bit freaky if you ask me," James said, looking a little strangely at his friend.  
  
"Good point, good point. Thank you so much for stopping me!" Sirius said.  
  
"I hope we are, if the girls take another two hours to get ready, we will all die. How can it take * that* long?" Remus said, posing his hypothetical question.  
  
The guys sat there for another twenty minutes or so before going to get ready themselves. At around seven fifteen, all the male Gryffindors were downstairs in the commons room waiting on the girls. Slowly they started to trickle in.  
  
They came in order of grades, with a few stragglers sometimes. While all this was happening, Lily and Melanie were making sure they looked perfect in their dresses and Cayte was in the bathroom putting on hers. She stayed true to her promise of not letting anyone see it. Before she left the bathroom, she looked out and made sure no one was in the room. When she was sure no one was there, she went to the door and started down the stairs.  
  
James and Lily were standing arm and arm ("I told you!" Sirius said), Peter had asked a third year to the dance, so they were standing together, and Remus was standing arm in arm with Melanie. Sirius stood alone, he casually watched the staircase while keeping conversation going with the others.  
  
Cayte made her way down the staircase, as she rounded the corner, she saw Sirius wink at her. She whispered to herself, "I can do this. I look amazing and I can do this!" making it seem like she had a bit more confidence than she really did. No one could see her but him, as he was the only one at the right angle. As she came into view and farther down the staircase, Sirius edged closer to her. When she reached the lower level, he wrapped his arm in hers, and walked towards James and the rest of the group. The whole commons room let out a small gasp.  
  
Soon everyone made their way down to the great hall for dinner. Dumbledore had moved the house table and replaced them with tables of all different shapes. Being a group of ten, they had a choice of one shaped like a star, or a heart. They chose the heart. Once looking around, Cayte noticed that there was even one shaped like the giant squid for the professors to sit at. Some of them were glaring at Dumbledore, trying to figure out how they were supposed to sit.  
  
Lily was the first to ask why no one had said anything about Sirius and Cayte going together. "Because no one but us knew, and we wanted to keep it that way," Cayte said.  
  
"Just like your dress?" Sirius said, commenting on it. It was a blue that matched her eyes wonderfully, with a top that had a princess cut front and laced in the back, and the bottom part flowed around her brilliantly. She couldn't wait to dance in it.  
  
"Just like my dress," Cayte said.  
  
"So, how long have you been going out?" Peters date, Adrianne asked.  
  
"We aren't going out. We're just here as friends," Sirius said, looking around the table, especially at James, to clear up any misconceptions.  
  
Dinner was soon served, roasted chicken and pasta, and as everyone started eating, the noise in the Great Hall grew to a dull roar. When everyone was done eating, some people got up to dance. Sirius, James, Remus, Peter, and all of their dates sat and chatted for awhile.  
  
When Sirius and Cayte did get up to dance, Sirius whispered to he, "So, why exactly did you want to keep the dress a secret?" Cayte was laughing inwardly.  
  
"Because. I wanted it all to be special. This is the first time I've gone to a dance with a date, and you wanted to keep that a secret, so I figured I'd make it even better. People don't have dances a lot in America. Most of the time I didn't go because I wasn't sure I'd have a good time. Thus, with this being the first time I was going * with* a date, and when planning on having fun, I really wanted it to be special. You get it?" Cayte said. By this time they were already on the dance floor, so Sirius was looking at her when he said (rather confidently), "Oh, believe me, it will be fun!" Cayte just smiled. They started to dance, Lily and James were close by, as well as Remus and Peter.  
  
A slow song came on. Cayte nervously looked up at Sirius, but before she could say anything, he took her arms and wrapped them around his neck, then wrapped his around her waist. They both laughed. "I have slow danced before Siri," she said, thinking to herself, 'But it's never been like this'. As the song went on, they got closer to each other so by the end of the dance, Cayte's head was on his shoulder, and he was resting his on her head.  
  
The dance went on, Cayte and Sirius danced quite literally the entire time, and as it was coming to a close, Lily walked up to Cayte, "Hey, Sirius, mind if I steal her for a sec? Gotta ask a question." Sirius stepped away a few feet and let the girls talk.  
  
"Mind if I take James to the room tonight?" Lily asked.  
  
"What, the dorm room?" Cayte said, then realizing what it was Lily meant. "Sure. Why would I mind? It's * Hogwarts'* room anyway." Cayte said, walking towards Sirius to dance the last dance of the night. When it was over, all of the students reluctantly started heading back towards their commons room. Many of the couples escaped into hidden rooms, or pulled the curtains around a lonely four-poster. When Cayte and Sirius reached the commons room, Cayte went up to the dorms to change out of her dress, she and Sirius planned to meet in the commons room.  
  
Cayte came down to the commons room wearing a pair of dark blue pajama pants that had twinkling stars on them and a white shirt, while Sirius was just in normal clothes. He looked at her strangely.  
  
"Oh! The pajama pants. They're really big where I'm from. Every one wears them!" Cayte explained. For a moment they just stood there in an awkward silence. "Do ya wanna go up to my dorms?" Sirius asked, noticing a shooting star fly across Cayte's pajamas, "James, Remus, and Peter are nowhere to be found, so we wouldn't have to worry about them."  
  
Cayte looked at Sirius, she wasn't sure what to say, they weren't going out and why would they do something if they weren't? "I guess."  
  
They walked up to the guys' dorm, moments filled with really awkward silence. When they got there, they both sat on Sirius' bed. Cayte started to laugh.  
  
"What?" Sirius asked.  
  
"This place is still a wreck. It's worse than our room and we were being crazy with make-up and hair and all. Wow. That shows me a lot about the male race," Cayte said, still laughing. She fell back on the bed, so that she was half lying and half sitting. Sirius then did the same.  
  
"Well, what can I say. Some of us were a bit nervous too."  
  
"Hey! Who says I was nervous?" Cayte said defensively.  
  
"I saw what you whispered to yourself. 'I can do this. I look amazing and I can do this' that doesn't sound like you weren't nervous to me," Sirius said.  
  
"Well.um.er.I just wanted to remind myself," Cayte said, smiling. "You figured me out.Damn."  
  
"It's alright. I was pretty nervous too. I mean, wow. I wasn't sure how I could get James and them to realize we were going together, and then what if they didn't serve food I liked, and what if, they didn't serve any food at all? We'd all starve!" Sirius said, trying to make her feel a bit less nervous now. He turned over on his side so he could face her. "And, what would happen if my date ended up ditching me.glad that one didn't happen!"  
  
Cayte turned on her side too, "You know I would never do that to you. Although." Cayte said laughing. She got up to go get a drink of water. When she came back, she sat with her back against the footboard of the bed. This made it a bit strange for Sirius, who was now looking at her feet. He then got up and but his back against the headboard. "So, you're afraid of people leaving you? Like being stood up, or something similar?" Cayte asked.  
  
"No, not really. Although it would be pretty bad if that did happen," Sirius said smiling. Cayte's foot fell against his leg and even through his thick jeans, he could feel how cold it was. "Dang! Your foots freezing!"  
  
"Yeah I know. My feet and my hands are always cold. It never stops really. So what are you scared of?" Cayte said, then she started to laugh as Sirius rubbed his hands between her feet, then sat on them. "Stop it!"  
  
"Just trying to warm you up a bit! What am I scared of, you ask? Well, that would be just the normal things. Not having food, running out of food, umm.cockroaches. I think that's about it," Sirius said, lifting the middle section of his body up to pull the blanket from under him. "Although there is that morbid fear of not having to go to school!" Sirius said jokingly, as he put the blanket around Cayte's feet. "And you my little gingersnap, what are you afraid of?"  
  
Cayte laughed at first, 'it seems he's finally found a nickname for me.though I'm not so sure about that one.' she thought to her self. "What am I afraid of? Well that is a complicated one. Not to mention it's a secret. No one knows."  
  
"Well, why don't ya tell me? Someone has to know, otherwise it's not a secret!" and as an afterthought he added, "My little gingersnap!"  
  
Cayte's head sunk down towards her knees. It was something she was embarrassed about, something she never thought she'd tell anyone, yet here she was, about to tell someone. "It's going to take some explaining. And it's kinda strange."  
  
"Go on."  
  
Cayte gave a half smile. "Well.I'm afraid of falling in love."  
  
"Really? Why? I always heard that girls can't wait to fall in love, that they look forward to it."  
  
"Well, remember I told you that it would take explaining? It does. You see."Cayte looked down at her knees again. "I've got this really low self-esteem. Like, * really* low. So I'm afraid of getting hurt. That's the real thing. I'm afraid that if I fall in love, they will walk off and leave me, and I will be so hurt.I don't know what I would do if that happened. I mean," Cayte sighed loudly, then yawed, "What would happen to me? And then- and-Ugh! What," Cayte yawned again, "I mean is I am truthfully scared of being hurt, and over all the worst of it is that I am afraid that love will equal pain and thus, I would be hurt," Cayte said, worrying about whether or not Sirius understood.  
  
Sirius sat in silence watching as Cayte's eyelids got heavier and heavier. He understood what Cayte was saying, but didn't know why or how he could help her. All he knew was that he wanted her to not be afraid to make the leap that is love whenever the time came, and to whomever was on the other side of the spectrum. Even if it wasn't him. "So basically you have to trust someone enough so that you can believe the wont just walk away from you when you are in love? And get over your fear of being hurt as well? Well then, I suppose I've got a lot of work to do don't I?" he said jokingly. "But either way Cayte, I think your main problem is that you have never had the chance to be in love, and so you don't know how easy it is to fall in love with out realizing it. Believe me, I'm speaking from experience."  
  
Cayte looked a bit puzzled through her rapidly closing eyelids. "You've been in love? With who?"  
  
Sirius nodded, "Yeah, once. What's really weird though, is that you can kind of figure out if you are falling in love with someone after you have once. Who, you ask? Well, that takes some explaining. I was 11. You wouldn't think an 11 year old would be able to fall in love would you?" Sirius said laughing, "Her name was Catie, she was a foreign student from-" Sirius paused, "France, and we almost went out, but somehow things got a bit messed up and she was a little hesitant."  
  
"Oh," Cayte said in a rather large yawn, "strange.. I once thought I was.." Cayte's eyes had closed due to her heavy eyelids and her speech stumbled off as she fell asleep.  
  
Sirius got up and walked over to where Cayte was sitting. He gathered her up in his arms and she nuzzled to fit against his body. Slowly he carried her up the stairs to her deserted dorm room.  
  
He walked over to her bed, somehow managed to pull the covers back with his knee, and set her down in her bed. Pulling the covers up, he leaned down and whispered into her ear, "Every little thing you do is magic, every little thing just turns me on.." then kissed her on the forehead and walked out of the room, closing the door softly.  
  
  
  
AN: LONGEST CHAPTER YET! Not to mention the longest you all have had to wait and I am SO unbelievably sorry! Ernest Hemingway. 'Nuff said. Really. I had to read one of his books in like, two days and it took forever and I never got to type until tonight! REALLY! The last thing Siri whispers to Cayte is part of a Police song. The title is every little thing. It is a wonderful song, and you should all listen to it over and over again. The song Cayte puts on when they are getting ready is a song from Aida entitled 'My strongest Suit' You can probable tell what it's about by now. Again I'm incredibly sorry for the wait and for everything that I have stated previously!!!! Review!!! Oh yeah, did anyone catch a bit of foreshadowing- for lack of a better description- in Cayte and Siri's conversation on his bed? Go back and read. Tell me if you did. 


	13. a great voice and a wonderful suprise

AN: So, apparently the last chapter was better than the one before it. I am glad. I just saw LOTR: TTT and so now I'm thinking with a Scottish accent. Don't ask why, I don't know. I just am. It's rather funny. Maybe I'll have some more Scotland things in here.who knows. And some of you are saying you want a crazy, goofier Siri.I'll see what I can do, you'll have to let me know how it turns out.. Wow.new day. Needed encouragement to write more, so I went and read all of the reviews that I've gotten and some that I've written.wow, I can write again.THANKS GUYS!  
  
  
  
  
  
It was around seven in the morning when Cayte woke up. She looked around and tried to remember how she got to her bed. The last thing she did remember was talking to Sirius about being afraid of falling in love. She looked around the room, and saw that the rest of the girls were sleeping. Yawning, she lay back down and went to sleep.  
  
Sirius tossed and turned all night thinking about Cayte and how he might be able to help her. 'I want her to be able to love so deeply that she doesn't know what to do and not be afraid of it. How do you convince someone that it's ok?' he thought to himself. He got up and pulled out some parchment. It was time to write again.  
  
Well,  
  
This is so screwy it's not even funny. I've never heard of someone being afraid to fall in love. How do I change that? I think that once she starts to, and realizes that she can't help it, it will be different. But. Ugh. Now self-esteem. That's a problem I can deal with. I know she's wonderful, gorgeous, * and* that people do like her. I can convince her of that, it might take awhile, but I can do it.  
  
Now here is the hard part. Do I try and get her to fall in love with me so that she won't be afraid? Or do I just let it go in hopes that she'll fall in love with someone someday? Oh screw it. It's not like I can * make* someone fall in love with me. Just let it happen.  
  
Siri  
  
PS: My Little Gingersnap. That's her nickname. Don't ask, I don't know  
  
Once everyone woke up, the day was spent hanging out and talking about the dance. Later that night James, Remus, and Peter walked up to Sirius.  
  
"Padfoot old friend, it has occurred to us that we haven't pulled a prank this month. The usual person that we test things on must be a bit worried. I mean, we haven't even been calling him names lately. This is a problem, don't you agree?" James said, in a most official sounding voice.  
  
"Why, now that I think about it, you are too right old chap. We must be getting along with it. I in fact smell something a little bit out of the ordinary at the moment. Do you smell that?" Sirius responded.  
  
Peter piped up, "I do! It smells-it smells like something!" They all laughed, then Sirius got up and motioned for them to follow him.  
  
He led them up the stair case pausing at their door and then continuing on up, all the while making sniffing noised and acting like he was 'following his nose'. Once they reached the girls dorm room, he went inside. The rest of the guys took a major pause, a bit wary of going inside. James was the first one to shrug it off and walked inside, sitting on Lily's bed. Remus followed and sat on Mel's bed then came Peter who stood in the middle of the room, mouth gaping wide. "Shut it Pete, it's just the girls' room" Remus said, "Where's Siri?"  
  
"Under here," came a muffled voice from under Cayte's bed.  
  
"What are you doing there?" James asked, as Peter sat down on the floor.  
  
"Getting what we need. I'll show you when we get down to our dorm," Sirius spoke, climbing out from under the bed. They all dashed down to their dorm to discuss what Sirius had gotten.  
  
The next afternoon, Sirius walked up to Cayte in the courtyard. "Hey, I borrowed something from you yesterday. I needed it," he said.  
  
"What was it?" Cayte asked.  
  
"Oh, nothing.you'll know eventually," was all he would say as he pushed a strand of hair behind Cayte's ear. "My little Gingersnap."  
  
At that Cayte blushed badly. "Where did that name come from? It wasn't my CD player was it? I'd kill you if it was."  
  
"You'd k- ki- kill me?" Sirius said, fake crying. "I can't believe you would kill me...I'm hurt! Nah, I didn't take that from you. Never. Except that I would like to borrow it tonight. I keep signing this song I heard from you over and over again. Gotta get it out.."  
  
"Ok, what song.Umm.mind if I tell you in a.. * not* so public place? Cool.AHHH! YOU! You have me saying cool?!??! How dare you!" Sirius ran off. He had somehow gotten hold of a bit too much caffeine, obviously not a good thing. Cayte rolled her eyes and continued walking to the Quidditch pitch to meet Lily.  
  
It was later on in their Transfigurations class that Cayte found out what Sirius had taken.  
  
During the class while Snape had gotten up to go ask Professor McGonagall something, Sirius stood and walked towards Snapes' bag, he pulled out his wand and suddenly 'tripped', then muttered something under his breath and a few items scooted across the floor towards him. He quickly shoved them in Snapes' bag and got up, 'limping' back to his seat. Once there, he looked at James, the joke was now left up to him.  
  
Snape came back towards his seat and James magically made the bag go right in his pathway. Snape really did trip over his bag, then went to sit down. Only then did he realize what had fallen out. James, Remus, Peter, Sirius, and Cayte were all laughing. In all truth the whole class was, but they were laughing the hardest.  
  
"James, Remus, Peter, Sirius, and Cayte! Come with me into my office," McGonagall screamed, a vein in her forehead popping out. All of the students' jaws dropped, none of them could imagine Cayte doing this. Cayte had this startled look on her face, Sirius leaned over and whispered, "Come on, I'll get you out of it. Don't worry."  
  
They all got up and walked into McGonagalls' office. Actually Sirius had to kinda push Cayte in there, she was a bit shocked at it all.  
  
Holding Cayte's hand, Sirius looked right at McGonagall, "Cayte had * nothing* to do with this!" He was surprised to hear three other voices yelling the same thing at the same time. Cayte covered her and Sirius' hands with her own body so that McGonagall wouldn't get any ideas, that was the last thing she needed to happen now.  
  
"Well, I suppose you boys keep 'feminine supplies' on hand? How did you get them if Cayte didn't have a part in it?" she said with certain disgust.  
  
"I can explain!" Cayte whispered. They were all a bit surprised to hear from her. "You see, Sirius asked me if he could borrow something from me and said it was fine that-"  
  
"That I could go up and get it. But I knew that I couldn't go in the girls' dorms so I just talked to Lily. She went and got them for me and brought them down.Cayte didn't know what we were getting, and I figured she'd want to know why it was that I wanted * those* so I just left her in the dark" Sirius interrupted.  
  
"Is this true?" McGonagall inquired,  
  
Sirius pinched Cayte's hand and insidiously nodded. "Yes ma'am. It's true."  
  
"Fine, Cayte, you may go back out and continue your work, the rest of you stay for your punishment."  
  
Later on that night, Sirius and Cayte were in the commons room discussing her CD's. "I have a song stuck in my head. I really can't get it out, so PLEASE let me borrow the CD!" Sirius said.  
  
"It's cool, just tell me what CD."  
  
"Well, that's the thing, I don't know. The song is like-" Sirius paused, then leaned closer to Cayte's ear to sing into it. "Tearing yourself away from me now. You are free and I am crying This does not mean I don't love you I do, that's forever, yes and for always I am yours, you are mine You are what you are And you make it hard-"  
  
Cayte smiled. "Damn you have a good voice! I love a guy who can sing. That's Suite: Judy Blue Eyes by Crosby, Stills, and Nash off of their self- titled album. Before Neil Young joined the bunch. Great CD!" Cayte ran upstairs to get the CD and the CD player.  
  
James got up and sauntered over towards Sirius. "Loves a guy who can sing? You two really are shaping up to be perfect together. You really should do something about it."  
  
Sirius looked around to make sure that Cayte wasn't coming. "Go to the dorm room, I'll be there in a minute, I gotta get something from Cayte then.yeah." Sirius ran up the stairs to the girls' dorm, as James meandered up to the boys dorm.  
  
When Sirius got to the dorm he put the CD player on his nightstand and went to his trunk. James sat on his bed that was next to Sirius', looking a bit confused. Sirius walked over to his bed, sat down and opened up a small box. Holding the object in his hand, he looked at it carefully.  
  
"What is it?" James asked, walking over to Sirius' bed.  
  
"It's what I plan to give Cayte when I ask her out." He held up a gold ring, at the top of it was a music note. "She loves music, and I hope one day she might love me."  
  
James had a look of astonishment on his face; "you've never gotten a girl something to give her when you ask her out! Why this time? When are you going to?"  
  
"Shhh! Not so loud! I am giving her something because she's special to me and I want to, and I don't know when I will ask her out. When the times right. No don't say anything about this. ANYTHING!"  
  
  
  
AN: Well, I must end it here. I hope you don't mind. He will ask her out, sometime in the future. It all depends upon how fast I get the transitions out and everything else. Crosby Stills Nash and Young was a band from the time period. I decided the story needed something that was a bit factual in the way of music. They are great, and that song is even better. Download it if you can. I'll let you all go for now, have fun reading! 


	14. A difficult journey and some surprises

AN: For now this is a short little AN telling you I'm crazy. I'll add another later today when I get home of have more time or something. Hello. I am crazy. Really. Two nights ago, I had a dream that was about HP, ABOUT it. Ron, Hermione, Harry, all of em, including an original character (OC) of mine.not Cayte. Well, I thought about it and during Health, I wrote a page or so of the story line. It's really awesome. Here's the thing. I am not about to start writing two stories at once. It would take more than a week to update them, seeing as it takes me a week to finish writing chapters for one fic. So I was thinking, what if I added that in to what will be going on in the later years ('member, this story will go forward after their grad and it will be ____ years after grad.I haven't decided how many). So that may be what I do. I ahven't decided and chances are, I will just keep them separate. It will be so much easier, but I just wanted to let you all know that I am insane.  
  
AN: Hello. I have ultimately decided that whatever fuels me to write is defiantly working overdrive today. I want to get this chappy posted soon, I have a big paper due on Tuesday so I don't' know how much I will be able to type over the weekend.. Disclaimer: nope, don't own the story. Only any OC's you happen to come across..  
  
  
  
Throughout November ('member the dance was the last day of October) tricks were played in and out of Hogwarts. One could say all of the Marauders were back to their usual selves. Well, most of them. Sirius was still a bit wary of life going back to normal with Cassie still in her state. Dumbledore took note of this and permitted him to visit Cassie on Saturday. There were no more Hogsmeade weekends and Saturdays were usually spent for Quidditch.  
  
Many events took place leading up to their winter break. One morning, towards the end of November, Cayte received a letter from her parents. "They're moving next weekend. They want me to come help. I suppose they have sent an owl to Dumbledore as well," Cayte said. No sooner had she said it, Dumbledore approached her and informed her of her parents moving and that she was to leave on Friday to go help them.  
  
James found this information amazing for more reasons than one. "Wow! I don't think anyone has ever gone back to their house to help their parents move," then looking at Sirius, "So many pranks to pull, so little time. Can't wait Siri!" he said the last part in a demeaning voice. "Hey! Only I can call him that!" Cayte added, then Lily put her two cents in, "Really, My Little Gingersnap?!?" The whole of the Gryffindor table lost control laughing so hard, with Sirius and Cayte sitting in the middle of it bright red. 'At least they don't know what I call him in my head!' Cayte thought.  
  
They days passed quickly until Friday evening when Cayte, accompanied by Sirius and Lily, went to the Hogwarts express to go home. "Bye! See ya Sunday! Hey, Siri, don't pull any pranks I would want to be there for!" Cayte called as the train pulled off.  
  
Sunday evening when she arrived back at Hogwarts, she ran immediately into the Gryffindor commons room. She took a cursory glance to see who was there, spotting James, Remus, Peter, Lily, and Sirius, she ran towards them. They all stood up (c'mon, they have awesome manners!) when Cayte got closer to them. She ran towards Lily and gave her hug, then James, Remus, and Peter, stumbling when she reached Sirius and instead just gave him an awkward smile.  
  
"What was all that for?" Peter asked.  
  
"You have absolutely no idea how horrible it was. I was so bored! And then on top of it I had to unpack what I could of my stuff which left me missing the other half of my stuff that was here, and now that I'm here, I want the other stuff too. And I haven't seen any of it since we arrived here, so that left me a bit nostalgic for America. And on top of it all, I left my CD player with Siri on accident so I had nothing to listen to!"  
  
James smiled then glanced at the others. They all busted out into song; "Chestnut brown canary, ruby throated sparrow, sing a song, don't be long, thrill me to the marrow. Voices of the angels, ring around the moonlight, asking me, said, she so free, how can you catch the sparrow? Lacy, lilting lyrics, losing love lamenting. Change by life, make it right, be my lady. Doo Doo Doo Doo.." Sirius started to sing the part that Stephen Still would have sung, "Que linda me la traiga Cuba, la reina de la Mar Caribe. Cielo sol no tiene sangreahi, y que triste que no puedo vaya, Oh va, oh va, va."  
  
When they finished singing Cayte was rolling. "That was great!"  
  
Yeah, well Sirius was singing it all weekend and he got us doing it too," Peter chuckled.  
  
"Remy, what's the Spanish mean?" Lily asked.  
  
Cayte and Remus both started talking at once, then Cayte stopped in shock at Remus' perfect translation, "Loosely it's: How happy it makes me to think of Cuba, the smiles of the Caribbean Sea. Sunny sky has no blood, and how sad that I'm not able to go. Oh go, oh go go"  
  
"Tu sabes espanol Remy?" Cayte asked.  
  
Remus' eyes got bright as he responded, "Si, mis padres y yo fuimos a Espana, aprendi espanol por la vacacion."  
  
"Ah, yo lleve espanlol en las estados unidos.en la escuela del muggle."  
  
Sirius looked puzzled, and was a bit jealous of Remus, " Ok.what did you guys just say?"  
  
"You know Spanish Remy? Yes, my parents and I went to Spain where I learned. Ah I took it in America.muggle schools," Remus replied.  
  
After a little time passed, Cayte left to go to bed. "Wait, I'll get your CD player." Cayte, and Sirius walked up the stairs and went into the boys dorm.  
  
Sirius turned on Cayte quickly, "What's the deal with that? No hug for me? I almost died!"  
  
Cayte laughed, "Do you remember me telling you that if you took my CD player I'd kill you? You took my CD player. It worked, didn't it?"  
  
Sirius fell backwards to the bed and faked dead. Slowly he lifted his head and looked at Cayte and started to laugh, sitting up on his elbows, he grabbed her knee between his feet and pulled her towards him. She stumbled and fell, but it was just what Sirius wanted. He looked into her eyes and placed his hand behind her head, gently pulling it closer. He leaned in closer and was about to kiss her when she rolled off of him. "You were about to bring me back to life!" Sirius said, making a reference to the muggle story, Sleeping Beauty.  
  
"No, Siri. Not now, we aren't even 'going out'. It's not supposed to happen like that," then whispering, "I'll fall." She grabbed her CD player and ran out of the room before Sirius could say anything.  
  
And thus November went out with both Sirius and Cayte completely confused about one another. During December all of the students were restless for break. Pranks stopped for awhile as the Marauders were again busy with finding out how to become an animagi and researching about making an enchanted map of Hogwarts.  
  
Lily and Cayte were busy discussing plans for break, seeing as they both lived in the same country they figured that they could see each other. "Well, I can tell you our neighbors names, but I have no clue as to what city we live in or near," Cayte joked.  
  
"Well, I live really close to Glasgow so owl me and we can figure it out."  
  
"Your last name is Evans isn't it?" when Lily nodded Cayte proceeded, "I live next to a family with the last name of Evans. Maybe you're related. Though Evans is a 'popular' last name so who knows."  
  
Before anyone knew it, it was time to depart for home. As they headed off towards the train, they all heard a loud scream. Turning they saw Snape with the same 'feminine products' that were in his book bag following him in mid air. Cayte looked at Sirius, he winked back. He had done it.  
  
They boarded the train and found an empty compartment and sat down. Lily and James were sitting next to each other, with Sirius on the other side of James and Cayte on Sirius' side by the window. Remus and Melanie were sitting on the other side, with Peter on Remus' other side.  
  
Towards the middle of the ride, Melanie got up to go find her sister, who was in Ravenclaw, Remus followed her out. "He's like her little puppy dog! He follows her everywhere," James commented. A few minutes later Lily got up and said she was going out to find the food witch, James got up and followed her out. Peter rolled his eyes, "Talk about a girl and a puppy dog."  
  
Peters date for the dance came over the their compartment a few moments after James and Lily left. "Petey, come here! I want to talk to you." He got up and left. This left Cayte and Sirius in the compartment alone. She got up and walked to the other seat away from him. 'He wouldn't try anything with others around, though I am not too sure about being alone with him,' she thought to herself.  
  
"Why did you do that?" Sirius asked, looking hurt.  
  
"I don't know how much I trust being alone with you. Not after what happened earlier."  
  
" I tried to kiss you. Big deal." Now that he thought about it, they hadn't been alone in the same room since that occasion.  
  
"No, it is a big deal. I a very big deal when you've never been kissed. I am not 'ready' to be kissed yet. Not when we aren't going out, NOT when I don't feel like it's the right time."  
  
"Cayte, what if you never feel like it's the right time? What if you are too scared to feel like your ready?"  
  
"There are too many 'what ifs' to name Sirius. I am going to live my life according to me. If I don't feel like it's the right time, then I won't kiss you. Or anyone else for that matter."  
  
Sirius nodded and took a deep sigh. "I am sorry. I shouldn't have done it, I was wrong to have assumed that you would let me."  
  
"Wow.did your mom teach you how to apologize or what? Accepted."  
  
"I'm serious (Sirius.couldn't help it) Cayte, I am sorry. I don't want you not to trust me. I won't do it again until I know your ready. Even if that means I never get to kiss you." Sirius knew that would be hard for him to do, but he meant it.  
  
Cayte stood up and started to pace, it was a habit that she had done since she was little. Lily and James came into the room carrying chocolate frogs for everyone, but since Remus, Melanie, and Peter were gone they all just ate two and James had the last one.  
  
When they reached the train station, they all said their good-byes and went their separate ways..  
  
AN: Well, there you are. Two chappys in two days. That is a record.review! 


	15. A new home

AN: Ok you guyses. this whole week has been.one of those weeks. How's that? Well, in this next chappy it is imperative that I get everything right so I will go ahead and apologize for the length that it might take. You may also blame it on the fact that I have a big paper due on Tuesday and thus I will be working on it constantly. That's about it. Really. Well, enjoy. I'll be writing more.probably during health, which is right before lit which is why there are a lot of vocab words in the chappys lately. I mean.come on.you gotta take the quiz anyways right? Read On. Oh a slight change. In chapter 11 I said that Cayte was 15. I meant that she was 16. Woops. I have already said that chapter 11 was bad. There was no point in it and I shouldn't have posted it. I still feel guilty.so now go on and read.(  
  
  
  
Chapter.what is this? 15? Yep.15.wow. Party!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
Cayte's dad, being a muggle, cannot operate a broomstick, and Cayte's mother is afraid of heights, so they came to pick her up in their new car.  
  
"New car? What for?" Cayte asked curiously.  
  
"Oh, well, you know, it was time for something new. The old one kept stalling," her father remarked smirking a bit. "Now where shall we go for lunch? Chin Chin or would you rather have some sushi? Your mother and I found this great sushi place."  
  
"Hmm.Tough one. I'll take some sushi, never do you get that at Hogwarts."  
  
When Cayte arrived home two hours later, she sent an owl to Lily saying, "Hey! I live in a neighborhood right outside of Glasgow. Godric's Hollow is the name. Pretty sure it is anyway. Where do you live in relation?"  
  
After letting her owl out of the window, she pulled out her CD player and her Crosby, Stills, and Nash CD and sat on her bed to think of what she needed to get everyone for their presents. Before the first song was over, her owl was on her shoulder with a note attached. "Go on your front porch. Lily". Cayte wondered what it meant but she went and stood out there anyway. She looked around and right next door to her was Lily, standing on her front porch looking at her. The girls both freaked out.  
  
"Godric's Hollow is a muggle community, but there are a lot of half wizard families that live here. Like yours, Mum's a witch and your Dad's a muggle. And then there are the families like mine that only have one witch in them. Though my family has lived here since before I was born so that doesn't have anything to do with it," Lily said, as she and Cayte walked around in a large field that was behind both of their houses.  
  
"I still can't believe that you and I are right across from each other!"  
  
"Well it will work great. See, James comes over to visit me a lot, and Sirius can just Floo over with him!"  
  
"Why do you assume that I want him to come? I don't like him Lily."  
  
Lily made a sort of snort, "Bull shit you don't. It's written all over both of your faces."  
  
After a while, Cayte and Lily went back to their houses. Cayte's mom called out to her, " Cayte? I need to run to the store, do you want to pick up all of the presents you need now?" Cayte immediately agreed to go, she had thought of the perfect presents for everyone.  
  
When Cayte got back up to her room, she placed everyone's presents onto her bed and sorted out whose were whose. She looked at the pile and realized that unconsciously she had bought Sirius more than anyone else had. "It's just because he's my closest friend. Lily's wrong. I don't like him!" she thought. "Or maybe I do."  
  
She pulled out a little spiral notebook she had gotten to keep all of her journal entries in. She started to think back to when she first met Sirius, and things that she had thought about him. "I've been trying to convince myself not to like him. I've been trying to make myself believe something that's not true," she wrote, having a light bulb moment about her feelings for Sirius. "I do like him, and I have like him for a long time. I CAN let myself feel like this, it's not like im 'settling in' any more. That's the only reason I wouldn't let myself feel that way to begin with. So why don't I just go with it? Allow myself to feel it, I can do it, and I won't be ashamed. Thought I won't flaunt it. Just like things go the way they are supposed to," is all she could resolve before wrapping the presents and sending an owl to Lily. Her parents had told her that she could invite her over to spend the night, or at lease come over for awhile. Then while waiting for Lily's return owl, she wrote a letter to Sirius.  
  
"Siri,  
  
Look, I'm sorry about getting mad. I was just scared. This is all new to me. I have never come that close to kissing anyone. It's a weird experience. I just wanted to let you know that I never meant to.I never felt like that. It was. not too bad of a feeling. Oh God, my face is red writing this.  
  
Lily lives right next door to me. Is that not great?  
  
Your Gingersnap.do you know how weird it is to write that?"  
  
  
  
Cayte ended the letter right as her owl came back with Lily's reply. "Can't sleep over. First night back, 'rents want me home. I'll be over in a minute.Something makes me think you want to talk about something. or someone!" Sure enough, Cayte heard a pounding coming up the stairs. She quickly tied the letter on to her owl's leg and let it out the window. When she turned around Lily was standing in her doorway, twisting her hair and putting it up in with a pencil shaped thing. "So, whaddaya wanna tell me?"  
  
"Well.." Cayte blushed and walked over to her bed. "You were right. I do like him."  
  
"I knew it! Well, me and everyone else in the world," Lily said laughing. "So when did you realize this?"  
  
"When I got back from buying everyone's presents. I went to sort them out and realized he got more than anyone else did. Sorry Lily. Yours is over there," she said, nodding towards the presents. "You can open it now or later."  
  
"Later. I don't have yours wrapped or anything so I'll wait until I do." The girls talked and laughed for awhile, and soon enough, Lola was at Lily's window yelling for her to come home for dinner.  
  
~*~  
  
Ginge,  
  
Wow! That is great about you and Lily living next to each other. Now I don't have to worry about you sitting there all alone in your house.  
  
I can't wait to see you again. I need your CD player so very much. I never knew how good muggle music could be. Or how addicting.  
  
My parents officially think that I am insane. I walk around the house singing in Spanish. You know, the part at the end of Suite: Judy Blue Eyes. "Sirius, stop that nonsense muggle music! What language is it in anyway?" Parents are so annoying.  
  
And now I must go, mine are yelling at me to come and eat. Don't they understand that I'd much rather eat up here writing letters?  
  
"Every little thing she [you] does [do] is magic" sting  
  
Siri  
  
PS: he he he, I'm getting pretty good on this quoting song lyrics in everyday life thing.  
  
Cayte read the letter again and again. She laughed so hard each time. Cayte thought about it and decided Lily needed to see it. Her window was opened so she made a paper airplane, and charmed it over to her. As is landed, Lily walked to the window and looked over at Cayte. "Read it!"  
  
After Lily read it, she sent back over to Cayte, and laughed. "Looks like we've got a future couple on our hands!"  
  
Cayte just laughed and shut her window. Her mom was calling her for dinner too. That night she went fell asleep and had dreams about her and Sirius. She smiled all night long.  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: Look guys, sorry for the short length of this chapter. I have to write a paper, and it's really frustrating. Good news is that whenever I get writers block on the paper, I come and type some of the story, go back and suddenly I don't have the block any more! Maybe you'll have another chapter up here to read quicker than you think. I'm thinking of starting an email for when I update the chapter. Just something that lets you know. If you are interested leave your email in a review, or just email me. It's posted throughout this story! Again, I'm sorry for the length! 


	16. Prelude to lots of firstand a few in her...

AN: well, here we go. Yet again. Typed up one paragraph of that damn thesis paper (Ernest Hemingway.) and can't get any farther than that. So here I am yet again typing up my fan fiction instead of doing the paper (yes Ciria, as nice as it is for you all, I worry what it does to my Lit grade, though at the moment it's fine.thanks for your concern, LoL). Be proud of me though, I got a spiral notebook to keep character traits (parents names, where they live, musical tastes, etc.) and chapter summaries, as well as notes for what each chapter should be sure to have in it (no more, "crap I forgot about that!" unless I forget to write about it in the notebook). (Can you tell I like to use parenthesis?) Well, here goes.. Can I do it? I think so, what about you guys? And I have decided upon a goal, the chapter with Valentines Day in it, I want to be posted on Valentines Day. Oh, and please forgive me for some of the AN's that lie within the story line, they say AN in front of them.  
  
  
  
Cayte woke up Christmas morning to smell of fresh coffee and a fire in the fireplace (which still hadn't been connected to the Floo Network). As Cayte walked down stairs, she said, "Mmm.Smells just right. I miss this smell, fireplace that is." When they were in America, they had gas logs, which didn't produce the wonderful smell that a real fire did.  
  
"That's why we lit this one Cayte. Have some Coffee, just made it," Cayte's mom said sitting down on the couch. "Your present is over there," she said pointing towards the fireplace. There was a very small box that was wrapped in blue paper.  
  
Cayte got a very wide-eyed look as she opened the box. "The CAR? You're kidding me?" Suddenly Cayte realized that they still had both of the other cars that they had had when they moved over.  
  
"Yep, we got you a car to use when you are home. I will of course inhibit it when you are at school, but I doubt that you mind. And you mother neglected to mention that you do have a few other presents, though they are small. Don't expect much," her dad said, smiling at Cayte.  
  
The next day, James came to Lily's house to exchange presents with her. Cayte came over that day too, to exchange with Lily and James. "You guys are going to laugh at me. Especially because of what I got both of you. Go ahead, open them!"  
  
James tore through the wrapping paper and pulled out a portable CD player, and two CD's. "Crosby, Stills, and Nash -OH! That song.Suite: Judy Blue Eyes- and The Who?"  
  
"Yep! They seemed like a band you would like."  
  
"No, really, who is The Who?" James asked, sarcastically. There wasn't a person in Britain who hadn't heard of The Who before.  
  
"Ha ha James, that CD is one of my favorites." By the time they were done, Lily was done unwrapping her present -she unwrapped it making sure that she didn't tear a piece of the paper- and was thrilled. "This is GREAT!". Cayte had decided to get everyone CD players and two CD's, save Sirius, the first CD being Crosby, Still, and Nash, just as a joke, and one other that seemed appropriate for there personality, or just something that they had heard before. Lily got Aida because of the dance, and her having heard about it a lot, Melanie got the same thing.  
  
"Remus got the Crosby, Still and Nash (an: CSN, from now on) and a Miles Davis CD; Peter got the CSN and a Guster CD; Melanie got what you got Lily, and Sirius.let's not got there." They spent the rest of the day talking and listening to the music.  
  
A few days later, Cayte woke up late, both of her parents were gone. She went downstairs and put on a song by Guster.  
  
"I used to sit and watch the pouring rain  
  
I used to wish to be back home again" (Guster, Mona Lisa)  
  
As Cayte sang along to the song, she thought about the lyrics. "I remember sitting and watching the rain back in America. Wasn't it because it was the end of a drought? It was wasn't it." She thought about the one right after that, " When I first got to Hogwarts I used to wish I was back there. With Alyson and New York, and all of the stuff I still miss, but now I just wish I were back at Hogwarts with all of my friends there. Funny how that happens."  
  
Without thinking about it she had put the song on repeat, and she realized that quite a long time had past and there were tears flowing freely out of her eyes. "It's weird how that happens." she wiped them away as there was a knock at her front door. Looking down she realized she was still in her pajamas (a pants set, sea green with dancing turtles on them). She walked quickly to the door and peered out, she saw Sirius standing there looking around the yard.  
  
"Siri? What are you doing here?" she said as she opened the door and let him in.  
  
"What? No hug? No 'it's great to see you?'" he said frowning. Cayte reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck.  
  
"It is good to see you. How did you know where my house was?"  
  
"I knew where Lily's was, so I just flew there and figured I'd figure it out once I got here. I was going to travel here by Floo but I didn't have your fireplace hooked up."  
  
"Good thing, ours isn't connected to the network at all. Sit Siri, I'll be back in a second, lemme go change."  
  
"No, just sit and talk to me for a few. Please? Besides, I like your turtley pajamas," he said laughing as he watched two turtles tango-ing around her pants. Cayte laughed at Sirius' very good puppy dog face. "No wonder they think you'll be a dog!" Cayte flopped down on the couch next to Sirius, and put her feet in his lap.  
  
"So, Cayte, why were you crying right before I came in?" he asked, his voice filled with concern  
  
"Oh, I was listening to my Guster CD and there was a set of lyrics that made me think about being a kid and I thought about it for so long that I guess I started to cry. Nothing serious, Siri. No worries!" she said, still a bit confused about it herself.  
  
Cayte and Sirius talked for a few more minutes before Sirius pulled out a box for her to open. Cayte ran up stairs, got dressed and grabbed Sirius' present and wen back down stairs before he would let her give it to her. "Here, open it!"  
  
Sirius opened up the present and started to laugh. "Wow! This is amazing Cayte!" he leaned over and gave her a big hug, "Grant it I don't know who some of these bands are, but wow!" He looked at his CD player, and all of his CD's which included, CSN, Aida, The Who, Miles Davis, Sting and the Police, Grateful Dead, Guster, Dave Matthews Band, and Phantom of the Opera. "That's," Sirius counted on his fingers the number of CD's he got, "nine CD's! How did you decide what to get me?"  
  
"Well, everyone I got presents for got a CD player, a CSN CD, and one other depending on what I thought they would like. You on the other hand, well.I went looking for CD's and didn't really think about what I was buying. When I got home was the only time I realized how many I had decided to give you. They are all amongst my list of favorite bands. Miles Davis is jazz trumpet, you know CSN, Sting, DMB, and Aida. The Who, you should know of, Guster is another of my favorite bands, Phantom is my favorite musical all told, and the Grateful Dead is this amazing jam band. It really is all of my favorites. Mainly my favorite CD of whatever band it is." Cayte said, so completely happy that he loved the gift.  
  
"Alright, now it's time for you to open yours," he handed her a small square box. Cayte opened it up and a look of sheer amazement swept over her face. (AN: Ciria I have an hour until this freaking paper is due and I am typing this.happy? Hehe) "It's gorgeous!" she said looking at the small gold band with a changing music note etched into the top of it. "I love it. You- you-? You got me this for a present?" she said as Sirius slipped it onto her finger.  
  
"Yep. I saw it in the store at Hogsmeade and thought of you. I had to get it," he said as he remembered specifically asking them to engrave it that way. He smiled as he looked at Cayte staring in awe at the ring, 'wait till she sees this in a little while' he said feeling a small rectangular box still left in his pocket.  
  
"There's a jewelry store in Hogsmeade?" Cayte asked, remembering that she had only seen the dress store and The Three Broomsticks.  
  
"Yeah. It's right next to Zonko's and Honeydukes. You haven't seen it?"  
  
"No. I've been to Hogsmeade once. To get my dress and that was it. After that I went back to Hogwarts and didn't see anymore of it." (AN: I am stuck on the freaking CONCLUSION paragraph. The conclusion. And here I am typing away at fan fiction, hoping that when I go back to the paper I can finish it) (AN: sorry, had to vent)  
  
Sirius mouth dropped. "Your kidding me?!?" Then suddenly, he got an idea. "What are you doing today?"  
  
"Sitting here, listening to Guster, eating cold Italian food for lunch and probably driving around in my car. I didn't tell you about it did I? My parents got me a car!"  
  
"A what? Oh, one of those muggle vehicles," Sirius said, shaking the comment off and going back to what he originally thought, "Do you want to go to Hogsmeade for the day?"  
  
"Really? That would be great." Cayte said, secretly wondering if it was a date or not.  
  
Sirius caught that look and smiled at her, not knowing that every time he smiled, Cayte was practically gushing. "So is it a date?"  
  
"It is if you want it to be," Cayte said, getting up to call her mom and let her know where she would be.  
  
"Then it is indeed!"  
  
"We can take my car if you want, it's got a CD player in it, so we could listen to some of your CD's."  
  
Sirius got a frightened look, "Umm.no, we'll just go on brooms. Cars don't work in Hogsmeade."  
  
Cayte nodded, "Hey mom. Sirius came over here and we were talking about Hogsmeade and how I had never been and so he wants me to go to Hogsmeade with him today. That alright?" a short period of time elapsed and then Cayte said, "Ok, your right, I want to go too, but he invited me mother," putting the emphasis on mother. "I can? Awesome! Oh, I don't think that will work there, hang on. Siri, would a cell phone work in Hogsmeade?"  
  
"Cell phone? What is a cell phone? Probably not what ever it is."  
  
"Nope, can't take the cell. I'll be home at 2 ish," she said, looking at Sirius to verify. He thought about it quickly. "Better make it 3. Can I use your owl to send a quick note to someone?" Sirius asked. "Yeah, go ahead, he's in my room, up the stairs and first door to your left," Cayte continued to talk to her mom, as Sirius slowly ascended up the stairs. When she hung up she followed him up there, finding him letting the owl fly out the window as he stared at the sparkling light blue walls. "It's so very Cayte-like. Blue and sparkling. Like you eyes. Did I ever tell you how much I love your eyes? They are so gorgeous, and big, and blue and.yeah I'm embarrassing myself now."  
  
Cayte laughed. "Your eyes aren't so bad either. As in.damn. That's all I'll be saying on the matter. You ready?"  
  
Sirius nodded, still pondering what Cayte had just said. They both headed down the stairs and out the door. When they got to the front yard, Sirius walked to the side of the house to get his broom, when he came back, Cayte was still standing there looking a bit confused. "Go get your broom," Sirius said. When Cayte just continued to stand there, he suddenly realized that she didn't have one. "No sweat. You can just ride on mine."  
  
"Um.okay," she approached the broom with caution, "I should probably tell you I've never * actually* ridden a broom before. As you might be able to tell, I have kinda lived a sheltered life."  
  
"Yeah. It's cool. Come here, and I'll hold it still, I want you to get on in front of me, so get on," he said, gesturing towards the broom and holding it still. Cayte got on it a bit nervously, and her nervousness grew as Sirius climbed on behind her. He gently took one of her hands in each of his and placed them towards the front of the broom and kicked off.  
  
Cayte was freaking out at first. It was a sensation she had never felt before, or two. She had never been on a broom before, in a guys arms this closely, let alone on a broom with a guys arms wrapped around her. After the first few minutes, she got used to it and relaxed her back slouching, allowing Sirius to go forward some and for him to be more comfortable. The rest of the ride went well, with out much conversation as it was hard to converse in mid air. They touched down in Hogsmeade and Sirius put his broom in one of the allotted places they had created for them. They started off for Hogsmeade, Cayte thrilled about the broom ride.  
  
  
  
AN: Well, I was planning on having this whole chapter being the precursor to Hogsmeade AND their date. It got long. I, truthfully, didn't feel like adding more. Especially when I got one review for the last chapter. I have currently 21 reviews (hey, if the reviews were people, they could drink legally now). I'm thinking that I want to start out really small with this thing, so I'm only asking for the number to go up to 25 before I post again. That shouldn't take long. AND I was nice enough not to leave it at a cliffy the first time I did it. Next time I think it's necessary, I will leave it at a cliffy. I don't want to sound like a review nazi or anything, I just missed the "email from BOTREVIEW thing in my inbox. It's sad. I encourage you all to write fic and then post it and live without the reviews. 


	17. bookstores and a tree!

AN: Hello all! Well, that paper is done and turned in. I'm 'babysitting' (I say that only because I love the girls I baby-sit for so it's hardly work at all) and the oldest girl loves Harry Potter just as much as me (how could I not love babysitting them? I get to talk about HP all the time and I am not stared at like I'm insane.although I am.). Well anyways, Gabriel here has heard me talk endlessly about my fic, and I need help with the writing of this chappy anyway. So she's helping me. It's still gonna be on the same track, just someone else input too! YAY! Well, read on. I hope you enjoy, and as always, REVIEW!  
  
Chapter 17! (Shall we party again?)  
  
  
  
James was sitting in a chair facing the bed, where Lily was lying down. They had been up in his room for about an hour discussing Hogwarts and all of the things they associated with it. James laughed as Lily recalled a joke she had heard from Cayte.  
  
"I say! My dog has no nose! Says this one guy," Lily said, mocking the voice Cayte used, "'No nose?! How does he smell?' another one says. Then the first replies, 'Bloomin' Awful!'" Lily said laughing at the jokes sheer stupidity. (AN: heard on a Grateful Dead live CD had to put in here somehow.)  
  
"Wow. Where does she hear all of these?" James asked, referring to Cayte's endless stupid jokes. Suddenly there was a loud tap at the window.  
  
"Hey that's Cayte's owl, Lexi!" James got up to let the owl in, and untied the note from its leg.  
  
James, Meet me at the cave at four. Send an owl to Remy and Pete. See ya then. Siri.  
  
"Lily, you think it's alright that you go home by three?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Cayte and Sirius were walking through Hogsmeade when Sirius spotted a tree that looked remarkable like the one they sat at when they were at Hogwarts. He made a mental note of it, as Cayte spotted a bookstore and ran inside.  
  
She sniffed the air, "Can you smell it?" she said, as a look of pure bliss showed up on her face. "It's beautiful!"  
  
"Er.What?" Sirius asked, wondering if she was a bit crazy.  
  
"Books. They smell so wonderful. Though, you really have to be a book person to understand how it is," she said as she walked amongst the rows of books. She looked over at Sirius who was standing at the doorway pondering what she was talking about. Cayte walked up to him and pulled him into an aisle. "Look! They've haven't gotten any of the muggle authors here. That's horrible." Sirius just grinned and thought to himself, 'She wants everyone to be represented somehow doesn't she? I guess she thinks that as wizards, some of us ignore the muggle culture all told? But- none of the people we hang out with do that. Oh well, looks like she's ready to go'. Cayte walked up to the counter where you pay, and looked at the bookmarks. She found one she wanted that read, 'Here, read my mind.'  
  
They left the store and Sirius grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the tree. "Hey, that looks kinda like that tree we fell asleep under at Hogwarts," Cayte said as they sat down. Sirius leaned up against the tree, as did Cayte. They sat and talked for a while, and then Cayte got a bit curious. She leaned over, and carefully, while Sirius wasn't paying attention, tickled him. He howled with laughter, then decided to retaliate against Cayte, grabbing both sides of her stomach and making her squeal. They both rolled around on the ground tickling each other for what seemed like an eternity, where as it was only ten minutes.  
  
"Enough. I can't take anymore," Sirius said, panting and lying down on the grass. Cayte agreed and put her head on his chest. They lie there like that for a few minutes, and then Sirius pulled out another small box. This one was longer than the other one, and Cayte didn't see it.  
  
"Cayte? I've got a question, but I would really appreciate it if you were to get up so I could ask."  
  
"Shoot. Ask the question, just don't make me move," she said, getting up and contradicting herself.  
  
"Um.Will you.uh, Willyougooutwithme?" he said quickly, a little nervous, even though he was pretty sure she'd say yes. "I mean.Cayte, I've liked you for a while. And I think, though I'm not sure, that you like me. So in the interest of others, as well as ourselves, I propose that we become a couple. What do you think?"  
  
"Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Ahh! Yes!" she said, smiling so big it was insane. Sirius handed her the box, opened. It contained a plain gold locket, but when she opened it, she found a picture of her and Sirius on one side, and on the other was an inscription. "'Every little thing you do is magic.' Siri that's so sweet!" Cayte leaned over and hugged him. He stood up and offered her a hand. She took it and stood as he reached around and put the necklace on her.  
  
"Come on, you still haven't seen Zonko's!" Sirius said, running ahead of Cayte. She followed, and they spent time wandering around Hogsmeade aimlessly. "Oops! It's almost 2:30, we gotta get going. Ready?" Sirius asked, turning towards Cayte, as she gazed at another bookstore. "Please, you've been in every bookstore in Hogsmeade! Come on, we gotta go!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. And you're right. My mom will freak if I'm not home on time." They started walking towards where they had left Sirius' broom. Sirius grabbed it, and held it still for Cayte to get on, and once she was on, he got on himself. Being on Sirius broom, next to Sirius gave Cayte a warm feeling she had always wished for.It was the feeling of having someone put their arms around you to protect you, or just to have their arms wrapped around you, holding you. She sighed, happy in the way they sat, as they took off on Sirius' broom.  
  
It was 2:59 when they landed at Cayte's house. Once of the broom, Sirius looked at Cayte, "Hey, I can't stay, I gotta meet James, but I have another question. My parents always stay at their friends' house for New Years, and Ryan generally goes and hangs out with one of his friends all night, so my parents let me have a small party. Eight max. So, will you come? I can come get you, or you can just go with Lily, she's planning on coming too."  
  
Cayte stood and looked at Sirius, her first boyfriend, and tried to think of what to say to him. "What about getting home? It would be really late."  
  
"Oh, well, generally Lily sleeps in the spare bedroom, just stays the night so that she doesn't have to travel so far to get back. You and Lily could stay together." Sirius said with certainty.  
  
"Alright. I suppose my parents will be happy with that, though they might want to meet you first. We'll figure it all out later."  
  
Sirius looked at his watch, and noticing it was time for him to go, he quickly gave Cayte a hug, then went on his way. Cayte walked into the house, and ran upstairs. Her mother followed her, wondering how Hogsmeade had been. "Great Mum, it was great!" she said, using her newfound English terms that aggravated her mother to no end.  
  
"Why can't you just stick to 'good ole' 'Merican slang'? Why do you have to adapt others words? Ugh, doesn't make sense to me.Hey, where'd you get that necklace?"  
  
"Oh, uh, Sirius gave it to me. Mom, I gotta do some stuff.um.."  
  
"Yeah, I get it.Leave.But I want to know who this Sirius kid is sometime tonight, k?" she said, turning to walk out the door.  
  
"Hey mom? Can Lily sleep over?"  
  
"I suppose."  
  
Cayte sent an owl to Lily, asking her about spending the night. Lily could, and they spent the entire time talking about each other's boyfriends.Cayte's mom heard the whole thing, and thought it was great that her daughter was finally 'reaching out' to people.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Sirius came over as much as possible after he asked her out on the 27th. One day when Sirius came over, they went walking in the field behind Cayte and Lily's houses. It being winter, the grass was a bit of a golden yellow color. Sirius and Cayte walked side by side in silence.  
  
"I never made promises lightly And there have been some that I've broken But I swear in the days still left We'll walk in the fields of gold We'll walk in the fields of gold," Sirius sang sweetly.  
  
"I see you've been listening to Sting." Cayte said, trying not to melt into one big smile at his wonderful voice.  
  
"Oh yeah. It's a great CD, that song is wonderful, and somewhat fitting as we are walking in 'fields of gold'."  
  
They did things like this almost everyday that he came over, discussed music and walked and just enjoyed each other's company.  
  
The day came when Cayte had to lay some finite plans with her parents and Sirius. "He has a small party of seven people max each year. He invited me, seeing as I am his girlfriend. I told him I'd go. Lily's going, as James is Siri's best friend, and I can just go with her," Cayte said, filling her parents in.  
  
"But what about sleeping. You aren't planning on coming home after that are you?" her father asked, a bit surprised about the whole thing.  
  
"Well, generally Lily has just slept in their spare bed room, or gone home with James and slept in their families spare. Sirius said that Lily and I could share the spare bedroom at his house. I'd come home sometime the next day."  
  
"Sylvia, have you met this, 'Siri'? Is he polite and kind? Can we trust him with our daughter?"  
  
"I've met him before. He is very polite and nice. I have no qualms with it. Lily is going so her parents obviously trust him."  
  
"Fine you can go. But how are you going to get there?"  
  
"Lily. I'll go with her. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!" Cayte said, thrilled about it. She ran over to Lily's to tell her about her parents' decision. Both girls were thrilled.  
  
~~~***~~~  
  
The day of the party, Lily and Cayte ran back and forth between each others houses, making sure they had everything right. From clothes, to Cayte's CD's they wanted to be prepared for anything, after all, this was Cayte's first party too.  
  
"I can't believe this is your first real party! Does Siri know?" Lily asked, using the name that all of Sirius' friends had grown to call him.  
  
"No, he doesn't. And he won't! And a question for you Lily Evans. What's with everyone calling him Siri? That's MY nickname for him, not yours!"  
  
"Hey, don't be so possessive over a name! And you don't need to worry about it. James still doesn't know that he is/was my first boyfriend. I can keep a secret."  
  
Soon after that conversation they girls used Lily's fireplace and Floo powder to get to Sirius house. It was about 7 at night.  
  
  
  
AN: Hey guys, 11 word pages! YAY! My highest is 14.I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I certainly enjoyed writing it. More news on the writing front, I have a Beta Reader now! Duchess Biggerstaff. Look her up and check out her writing. I beta her stuff now too, so were kinda like a team. She rocks guys! On second note, REVIEW! That's all for now..TTFN (if you aren't familiar with Winnie The Pooh [and Tigger TOO!] that's TA TA FOR NOW!) 


	18. The beggining of a new age in timefor so...

AN: Okies, here we go again. So this time for my AN I would like to tell you all that I have seen the LABYRINTH * Pauses to count* four times this weekend, though technically its three and a half, who's counting (besides me). Good movie. Ah, I should also add that this was in a three day radius, once Saturday, again on Sunday, and twice today (we had a four day weekend). With that little kernel of knowledge, you must be thinking 'why didn't you write this chapter over that four day weekend' (even if you weren't, you were, trust me); and the answer is: I'm lazy, I was watching kids two out of four of those days and I was lazy. Okies, there you are.er.Here you are.  
Cayte and Lily landed in Sirius' family fireplace with a thump. They grabbed there stuff and stood up, brushing themselves off. A tall lady with bright blue eyes, and lovely black hair came out of the room that must have been the kitchen. "Hello Lily! How are you?"  
  
Cayte looked at Lily, only assuming that this was Sirius' mother. "I'm fine Mrs. Black, and your self?" she said politely.  
  
"Wonderbar! And you must be Cayte, Sirius certainly has told be a lot about you!" she commented looking at Cayte. "You have amazing eyes the color is so wonderful."  
  
"Thank you Mrs. Black. As do you, I see where Siri-er-Sirius gets his!" she said, not sure if it was appropriate to use a nickname.  
  
Mrs. Black laughed, "Don't worry about. We all have nicknames for him, and all of them are a bit different. You can call me Liz."  
  
"Liz? Elizabeth?" Cayte asked.  
  
"My given name is Elizabeth, yes-"  
  
"But you don't need to worry about that my dear!" Sirius said, sneaking up on them, and taking Cayte's bag off her shoulder. "Follow me, I'll show you where your room is." Sirius said, looking right into Cayte's eyes a bit dreamily.  
  
"Hey! What about my bag? I have to carry it? Not fair." Lily said, jokingly.  
  
"If James were here you wouldn't have to. But, I'm not James, and he's not here!" Sirius said, taking Lily's bag too.  
  
"I was only kidding. But thank you!" she said, as Sirius started to hand back her bag. "Hey, I'm gonna run over to James' to see what's up with him. I'll be back over when he comes. That cool with you Cayte?"  
  
"Fine by me, why would I care?"  
  
"No reason." Lily walked over to James' house and left the two of them alone. Well, sort of.  
  
"Sirius!" Liz Black called. "I need your help getting some stuff." Sirius rolled his eyes.  
  
"Just when I was getting some quality time with you," Cayte said jokingly. He walked off and she sat down on the bed pulling out her CD's. When Sirius got back he looked at her smiling and bobbing her head in time to the music that was playing 'in her head' (on the CD player). She seemed so happy and content, just sitting there listening to her music. 'Wow. You can really tell what matters to her in life.' he reflected to himself, 'I almost hate to ask what she's listening to.' Just then Cayte looked up and saw him. She held up a CD insert that read 'Dave Matthews Band, Before These Crowded Streets'. Sirius immediately understood the widespread smile that was on her face. She lifted the headphones off of her head and turned up the volume on the player so he could hear it too.  
  
Sirius sat down on the bed and listened to Cayte quietly sing along to the music. "Love! Love!- What more is there?/ We need the light of love in here/ Don't beat your head/ Dry your eyes/ Let the love in there/ There are bad times/ But that's okay/ Just look for love in it.It's Pig. The song has so much meaning." she said as the song ended as well as her singing. The next song came on and Cayte sat the CD player between them just as Sirius' mother walked in and informed them that they were leaving.  
  
They listened to Rapunzel (AN: same CD) and commented on how sweet some of the lyrics were the got up and went into the living room. Remus and Melanie came popping out of the fireplace. Cayte noticed that they didn't carry any bags.  
  
"Not staying around tonight?" she asked.  
  
Melanie looked sad. "No, my parents wouldn't let me. They wanted me to come home. And Remus says that if I can't, he can't," then whispering, "I think he's just trying to make me feel better."  
  
Remus coughed, "That's not the ONLY reason why, Mel. My parents hate it when I stay over at someone's house. They always worry about me for some odd reason. I guess it's cause they know I'm with Sirius and James," he remarked, directing the statement at Cayte.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where are Lily and James? Or maybe the correct question is what's taking them so long?"  
  
Sirius and Remus both laughed. So did Peter as he had come just in time to hear the question. "I s'pose you wouldn't know this, but it will take them awhile to get over here. And trust me, when they are here, you'll know why." Sirius said, still chuckling to himself.  
  
About half and hour later, James and Lily came walking in, James hair in worse shape than normal, and Lily looking a bit tired. Cayte immediately got the picture. Lily and James both sat down on the couch, rather close together.  
  
They all sat and chatted for a while, and when Cayte could, she pulled Lily aside.  
  
"WHAT were you and James doing?"  
  
Lily looked confused on what she should tell her friend. They hadn't been doing anything THAT bad. 'We didn't do anything totally wrong. And NOT that. Never THAT! S'pose I'll have to tell her what I can.' she thought to herself. "We were.you know."  
  
"Erm..Nope I certainly don't!"  
  
"Okay, so we were making out.you know how it goes," she said blushing.  
  
"Actually I don't know how that goes. But now that I know you weren't doing anything like.yeah, I'm happier."  
  
Lily looked confused, "what do you mean you don't know. You and Sirius spend all this time alone together before Remus and them got here and you didn't do anything. And when he was at your house, all break nothing? I don't get it."  
  
"I've never kissed a guy, let alone had a boyfriend. I want to take it slow and Siri respects that of me, thus we haven't kissed." Cayte said, now her turn to be a bit embarrassed.  
  
"Wow. There is a lot I don't know about you isn't there?" Lily said walking off.  
  
Cayte just stood there. 'You only know the half of it,' she thought. After thinking a few more things she went to the living room and sat down by Sirius. They all settled in for a fun night of music, laughs, and countdowns.  
AN: the song that Cayte sings while listening to the CD player is called Pig. It was written by 'David J. Matthews' (the J stands for John.I scare myself). Another very meaningful line from that song is 'Don't burn the day'. It's hard to interpret with out the rest of the song so I will do it for you. Don't burn the day is like No Day But Today (that's from RENT), live your life as if each day is your last. All of the music and everything else Cayte likes, I like. Cayte absolutely LOVES DMB (Dave Matthews band), so do I. I will probably be quoting more of their stuff in here as Siri gets into them a bit more. I know all sorts of strange trivia too, thus Cayte knows all sorts of strange trivia. You may come out of this fic with all sorts of knowledge. If you are interested I can give you sites to go to about DMB and many of the other groups that Cayte/I like. One last note for you all, DON'T BURN THE DAY! Please don't...Review! 


	19. siricakes anyone? hehe

AN: Hello my little Marfuts.don't ask. On to the next chapter! Wow something new and different. My goal is to get this out to you by Thursday the 27th, though I'm not promising anything...Here goes. Enjoy.  
  
Second AN: Yeah.that whole Thursday thing didn't work to well did it? I is sorry! See the AN at the end!!!!!!!!  
  
Chapter 19!  
The clock beside the bed kept blinking. "2:30" it would flash in it's bright green color. Cayte watched it go on blinking, "2:34", and so on. Lily pulled the covers over closer to her. 'It's not like I have any anyway.' Cayte thought, Lily had taken most of them already. 'It's freezing in this room! And Lily won't stop snoring.'  
  
After a few more minutes (the clock was blinking at 2:45 now) Cayte got up and walked the stairs to Sirius' room. She knocked on the door and heard two male voices tell her to come in. Opening the door, she looked around and noticed that James was sprawled on the floor wearing boxers and a T-shirt, whereas Sirius was sitting on his bed with just a pair of boxers on. 'Mmm.How very nice of him! Oh, No! Bad thought!' Cayte said to herself, a bit surprised at her own remark.  
  
"What's up?" Sirius asked with a puzzled look on his face.  
  
"I'm freezing! And Lily took all the covers and is snoring rather loudly.In other words, I can't sleep!"  
  
"You're cold huh? Well, come here, let me warm you up," Sirius said, patting the spot beside him on the bed.  
  
"Erm.should I leave or something." was all James could really say.  
  
"NO! I have an extra blanket in my closet," Sirius said as he got up, and mumbled something about minds being in the gutter.  
  
When Sirius had gotten the blanket, he went to the bed and wrapped it around Cayte, then sat down next to her. They sat and talked for awhile, all three of them. James was the first to notice that Cayte was being rather quiet.  
  
"Sirius, I think she's asleep."  
  
Sirius looked over at his girlfriend. "Indeed. I agree."  
  
"I'm gonna go downstairs to sleep on the couch. I'll see ya later."  
  
"Yeah, I'll be down in a minute."  
  
Sirius took the blanket from around her shoulders and lifted up the comforter on his bed. Slowly, he scooted her down and placed her head on his pillow. "Goodnight. You look so beautiful right now.I wish I had a picture." he said, as he left the room.  
  
~*~  
  
'Light. Sirius. Bed. Sirius?' Those were the first things that Cayte thought of when she woke up the next morning. "Hmm.what time is it?" she said as she stretched, her eyes still closed. "And why does it smell so strongly of Siri?" Cayte knew she would have to open her eyes to find out both of the answers to her questions, and that's why she kept them shut tight. Finally she resolved that she would eventually have to open them, so she did. 10:45. She never slept that late.  
  
"I'm in Sirius' bed? Why is that?" she mumbled to herself. Taking a sigh of relief when she noticed Sirius was nowhere to be found, she climbed out of the bed and walked downstairs. She took notice of the couches with blankets and pillows on them. 'Hmm. Sirius and James must have slept down here.' Just then James peeked his head around the corner from the kitchen. Cayte heard a faint whisper of "Yeah, she's up."  
  
Following the whisper, and the smell of fresh coffee, she found Sirius and James sitting in the kitchen. "Hey. Why was I asleep in your bed?"  
  
"You don't remember? Wow.It was great!" Sirius said with a joking look on his face. Cayte was sure for a minute that he might have done something. "No, not really. Lily took all the covers and was snoring. You were cold so you came up to my room to talk to me and fell asleep."  
  
"You scared the shit out of me! Don't do that again!" Cayte said.  
  
"Hey, I wouldn't do something like that, especially after what we talked about when Lily and James were spending some time to themselves. shall we say." James went red and ducked his head down.  
  
Cayte suddenly remembered that same conversation.  
  
~*~ Flashback ~*~  
  
Cayte sat on one end of Sirius bed, and he on the other. "You know I want to take things slowly right?" Cayte said.  
  
"Of course I do. That's why, when everyone else in the world kisses their 'significant other' on New Years, I just grabbed your hand. I knew you wouldn't want to move too fast, especially not with everyone else around. Hell, I'm still kicking myself for moving fast with my first girlfriend. I wish I hadn't now. I wouldn't do that to you."  
  
~*~ Present Time ~*~  
  
"Cayte? Want some coffee?" Sirius asked, already pouring her a cup.  
  
"Sure why not? Is it good coffee? As in really really strong?"  
  
Sirius looked puzzled. "Oh, sorry. Mental picture of coffee beans with macho muscle arms. There's different ways to make coffee? How do you figure that?"  
  
Cayte laughed, she loved knowing more about something than him. "Yeah, see, different people like different kinds. My family and I, we drink Colombian, whereas other people might drink French roast or something like that. And then there's how strong you want it. It can be 'motor oil' strong as I've heard it called, or just colored water. It all depends on how many scoops there are versus how much water you pour in."  
  
James yawned audibly to show how completely uninterested he was in the subject. Sirius poured them all coffee, while James stared questioningly at Sirius. 'I didn't think he liked coffee. Hell, I know he doesn't!' he thought to himself.  
  
Cayte tasted the coffee and made a face. "You've never made coffee before have you Sirius?"  
  
"Um.No, why?"  
  
"You can tell. Sorry. I'll deal with out it."  
  
"Good. I don't particularly like coffee!"  
  
"Then why the hell did you make it you stupid prat?" James said, annoyed that his friend was changing for Cayte.  
  
"Yeah really? I don't care if you like coffee or not."  
  
"Really? Well then I should have just stuck with the things I know. Like making pancakes. That I can do," Sirius said confidently (Ciria: I have a paper due in two days and I'm not half way through with it.).  
  
"Well then, how about pancakes instead of coffee? I can make some pancakes myself. How about a little competition, who can make the best?" Cayte said smiling, as she had never seen a guy who could really cook. '  
  
Sirius grinned, "You're on!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Cayte, he can do it. Believe me he can make some kick butt pancakes so be prepared. I should go wake Lily up for this. Shall I call Remus and Peter while I'm at it?"  
  
Sirius shook his head, "Nah, we wouldn't want to make a big deal out of this would we? What does the winner get?"  
  
Cayte though for a minute, "How about the loser has to buy the winner a CD of their choice?"  
  
"Hm.I've been thinking about those DMB guys. I could go for one of their CD's. I WILL win you know?!?" Sirius said, he wasn't planning on losing, he didn't care about letting the girl win.  
  
"And you won't just let me win?"  
  
"Win what?" Lily said yawning.  
  
"Oh, Cayte challenged me to a pancake making contest. And no, ginger, I won't let you win!"  
  
James entered the room, "Ginger?"  
  
Cayte and Sirius looked at each other, "Don't ask" they said in unison.  
  
The pancake making began. Cayte went looking around in the fruit basket while Sirius looked through the pantry for the right blend of spices. Lily and James were on the couch doing.there own thing, mixing their own special kind of spices..  
  
About twenty minutes later, Sirius came out of the kitchen. "Judges, you are being summoned!"  
  
Cayte walked out and set her plate of pancakes out on the table. They looked delicious, "A wonderful blend of blueberries and vanilla. Topped with whipped cream and strawberries for your delight!"  
  
Sirius walked in with his plate, which looked rather dull. "A bunch of ingredients thrown together to make what I like to call, 'Siriuscakes'. Made especially for you by none other than ME!"  
  
They all sat down and put one of each of the kinds of pancakes on their plates. Chomping on the food, James got a strange look on his face. "What's up Jamie-poo? Who do you think won?" Lily asked.  
  
"Um.I haven't decided," he said, though he was pretty sure that Cayte's rocked, his best friend's kicked some arse too, so he didn't say any thing at all.  
  
"I think Cayte's are actually better!" Lily said.  
  
"What? Your biased. James? What do you think?" Sirius said annoyed.  
  
"Um.er.."  
  
"You think hers are better don't you.." Sirius said.  
  
Cayte ducked her head down turning slightly red.  
  
"um.er.ug.yes." James said, swallowing his words.  
  
"WHAT? YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND AND YOU SAY HERS ARE BETTER?!? They are ginge. BUT JAMES! HOW COULD YOU?" Sirius said, appaled.  
  
Cayte turned even redder, and it was getting worse by the minute. (Ciria, the paper was turned in yesterday.otherwise this would have been out much sooner) Cayte got up and left the room.  
  
"Um.What just happened?" Sirius asked, a bit shocked that Cayte had gotten up and left.  
  
"I think you pissed off your girlfriend, buddy. I would go apologize." James said.  
  
Sirius went up the stairs and looked in the room where Lily had slept. There he found Cayte crouched on the floor packing up the things she had taken out. "Cayte?" he whispered.  
  
She looked up at him, her eyes sparkling with emotion.  
  
"Did I piss you off down there? Cause if I did.I didn't mean to.I'm sorry." Sirius said, his head down, hair covering his eyes.  
  
Cayte got up out of her crouched position on the floor. She walked up to him and brushed the hair out of his face, then hugged him. "No Siri, you didn't piss me off. I just needed to pack up some stuff, and I was a bit uncomfortable, I've never seen you yell like that."  
  
Sirius looked up, he wanted to kiss her so much, but knew better than that. "Yeah, I suppose I was a bit.er.harsh?" he said. Then he pulled her close to him, holding her tight. The emotion that he saw in her eyes wasn't anger, or fear, or sadness; the look in her eyes was one of affection, and it was an emotion that was shared between the two of them equally.  
AN: Wow. I am so sorry it took so long. I had a major case of writers block. You should have seen the original copy of this chapter. It was bad. Really short and bad. So I decided you all deserved more than that and figured I'd type more and change things etc. Then I had a paper.All things get in the way of a conspiring writer.Sorry and please please review!!!  
  
Don't burn the day! Becca 


	20. A very nice holiday for a very nice coup...

AN: woot. Do you all know how lucky you are that you are reading this? I almost quit writing the fic when I got to the last chapter. It was really bad at first and I almost gave up. Be glad I didn't. So this chapter will have a bit of a fun thing to it.. Damn laundry.I'm not aloud on the Internet until its done.. I think I have about one or two more loads left to go.withdrawal sucks monkeys!  
~*~  
It was wonderful to be back at Hogwarts again. Lily and James, Remus and Melanie, Sirius and Cayte, as well as Peter, all of them were having a blast and glad to be back together. The month of January passed by quickly, and soon they found February was around the corner and waiting to meet them.  
February 1  
  
Wow. This has been so great. Sirius is being as sweet as possible and I love it. He's perfect, and I wouldn't change it for the world. Ever since New Years Day, when I got home and found one of his pillow cases in my bag I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. I mean, how clever is that. I guess he knew that I love the way he smells... Something about it is just so wonderful. And he's been so great, always joking around about 'Siricakes' and how really he one, James was under the power of Lilification (Being hypnotized by Lily's presence, apparently it happens all the time) so he didn't know what he was doing.  
  
I can't believe its February. That's just wrong. It really does seem like last week that we were coming back to Hogwarts from break.. A note to self: Check up information on Jason Mraz. Great CD so I wanna know about him. I suppose this is all I can write for now. Though..  
  
So I've been thinking that Sirius will most definitely be my first real kiss. I know it sounds so cheesy but it's so great. He refuses to let us move fast, and if it ever seems like I might want to do something I would regret, he won't let me. That's why I think he's so great. I asked him once how he would know that I was ready to kiss him. He told me that we would both just know, either from a look in one another's eyes, or verbally, that it didn't matter we would know. I want to know what that feels like, just knowing..  
  
Cayte  
  
As Cayte wrote, Sirius was in the library studying things, but not your ordinary how-to-become-an-animagus things. These were things for Valentines Day. Something a bit more important to him. Sirius was deep into reading up on charms that would make hearts appear around her bed, and how to transfigure her bed into a bed or roses when James walked up.  
  
"Buddy, what are you doing in here, we already know how to become animagi," James whispered.  
  
Sirius looked at him and rolled his eyes, "Valentines Day is in 13 days now, I've got to come up with something to do for Cayte."  
  
James looked a bit scared, "You're actually planning ahead? Why not wait until the day before to plan the thing like every other guy?"  
  
"Because this is her first V-day with a boyfriend and I want it to be special for her. I want it to be one to remember."  
  
Back in the girls' dorm, Lily walked into the room. "Hey, what's up? How come your not with Siri?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know where he is, and I felt like writing.about him actually."  
  
Lily sprawled out on her bed, "Oooh, dish. What's going on between you two that you need to write about?"  
  
"Nothing. I was just thinking about how I've never kissed him, and how it seems like I should have."  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"Well, I mean- Not that it seems like I should have, just that I can tell he wants to but he's holding back."  
  
"Ok.So explain that to me too."  
  
"There's a wanting.I can tell, just the way he acts sometimes it's like he's not being himself, he's holding something back, and I think that's what it is."  
  
"Oh," Lily said awkwardly, "Wanna know what I'm getting James for Valentines Day?"  
  
"Um. I guess." The whole school was hyped up about Valentines Day this year, and Cayte was sick of hearing about it. She wouldn't normally be that annoyed; it was just that she didn't know what to get Sirius.  
  
"Ok, so I was thinking that I would get him some CD's. There's one problem, I don't know where to buy them or what to buy him," Lily said, begging for Cayte's help with out really asking.  
  
"Well." Cayte though about this, "I propose a trade. I, knowing what type of music he might like help you with your purchase, and you, being you, help me to find something for my Siri Babe," Cayte said, excitedly.  
  
"Deal.And Siri Babe?"  
  
Cayte felt herself go a bit red, "Well everyone else has taken to calling him Siri, so I came up with a new name."  
  
It was about a week later when everyone else realized that Valentines day was vastly approaching. Suddenly Melanie was in a flurry to figure out what exactly would be wonderful for Remus, and Remus was asking Cayte and Lily what to get her. The whole school was freaking out about the upcoming holiday. Rumors had it that Dumbledore would pull another surprise dance, but only the first years were falling for that.  
  
Cayte was sitting on her bed writing with her headphones on. "I think I know what I want to get Siri. He always did want a Dave Matthews Band CD, so why not give one to him. And I know that that's not enough, but I think there's something else I can do. Though I'm not sure. I think I can, and I think it would work. Hell, why not. I mean if I don't give it to him now, when? 'Don't burn the day' DMB says, so why shouldn't I.."  
  
Sirius was sitting in the library writing and humming a song from Aida to himself. "So I know what I want to do for Cayte. It's going to rock. I can't say here. Too many people and who knows, someone may find this. I can't have someone knowing and telling her. It's gonna be amazing though. I'm sure of that. I will say this, dinner at the tree, not in the Great Hall. I think it will be wonderful.."  
  
James was still procrastinating on what to do for Lily. He was the epitome of a guy on a holiday. He kept saying that it would come to him sometime in a brilliant moment of inspiration.  
~*~ Valentines Day ~*~  
Cayte turned over on her bed, she wanted to keep sleeping but, knew it wasn't possible to do, as she had school that day. She sat up and pulled the curtain from her bed, and reached for a glass of water only to find when drinking it that it was red. She stood up quickly, freaking out, and looked around her. Her bed was covered in rose petals, and the area surrounding it had hearts floating around. She spotted one that was large with a note tied to it and grabbed it.  
  
"My dearest Cayte,  
  
Today, our first Valentines Day, will be filled with surprises. I hope you find it as wonderful as I find you. Your smile lights up any room that you walk into, and it makes me so happy to know that some of your smile might be directed at me. I wish there was more that I could say to express my feelings for you, but I just cannot find the words to do so. Please know that you are so special to me.  
  
Yours,  
  
Sirius  
  
Cayte blushed at his note. "He's so sweet' she whispered to herself before getting dressed and heading downstairs. She curled up onto one of the couches by the fire and waited for the rest of her friends to join her. It didn't take long for Lily to come downstairs, followed closely by James, who was still striving to come up with something to give her. Soon Remus came down to wait for Melanie, who quickly grabbed his hand when seeing him. At last all of the Gryffindors were in the commons room, laughing and talking, but Sirius was still not there. Students started to file out and James, Lily, Remus, Melanie, and Peter all decided to go down to the Great Hall while Cayte stayed and waited for Sirius.  
  
It was about five minutes later that he came down. Cayte stood up and walked towards the stairs smiling at him. Looking up into his eyes, as she always did in the morning, she saw not the bright blue round iris' that she was used to, but ones shaped like hearts. "I've only got eyes for you," he said chuckling. "No one else will see these, only the person that I truly like with all my heart will. That obviously means you." He smiled as Cayte reached her arms around his neck and gave him a big hug.  
  
"I can't believe you. It's so wonderful. Everything, the flowers, the hearts, you, everything Siri Babe. All of it!"  
  
They headed down to breakfast and then off to their classes. It was getting closer and closer to dinner time, and Sirius still hadn't told Cayte that they were eating at the tree, and James still hadn't gotten to get something for Lily ("Over the weekend, I'll-I'll take you to dinner!"). Cayte was in her room trying to organize her thoughts, and the gift she was giving to Sirius. "Wow! Today has been great," she though to herself, " What with the waking up with the note and the flowers, and then the whole eye thing. Though I hope that's gone soon, it's starting to creep me out." Cayte listened carefully and heard Sirius' fast pop that meant he was running up the stairs. "They all have a certain sound. See, Lily's coming up, and she's mad. The somehow soft but firm thud is her. And Siri Babe is always the fast pop, never slow and always the same sound. So reliable.." Cayte was suddenly shaken from her reverie by Sirius' head popping through the door. He came to sit on the bed and talk to her.  
  
"Hey! Listen we're not going to the Great Hall for dinn-" Lily had walked in yelling.  
  
"Damn boys! James is such and idiot! He didn't even think about Valentines Day and now he's trying to make up for it. Sirius! How could you let him do this to me? Huh? I though we were friends.."  
  
"Lily.I hate to say it, but what your boyfriend and my best friend do for someone else, usually isn't a great conversation. Yeah, he teased me about doing things for Cayte so early, and I just shrugged and figured he'd deal with stuff his own way. Now to go on before I was so 'rudely' interrupted."  
  
"Er.sorry."  
  
"There it goes again!" Lily walked out of the room, which was just what Sirius wanted her to do. "We are not going to be joining everyone else in the Great Hall for dinner this wonderful evening. No, we will be dining by the tree, our own special spot, so we can enjoy what is so wonderfully special to us, us!"  
  
Cayte laughed. "Oh my Siri, no wonder I can't get enough of you!"  
  
"Same to you my dear," he said laughing, "I just wanted to inform you of that, meet me at 6-ish in the commons room and we'll head down. That sound ok?"  
  
"Of course it does! Tell Lily to come in here, I think I should talk to her."  
  
"Of course My Little Gingersnap, anything else I can do?" Sirius chuckled at the name that was now more than a joke than ever.  
  
"Nah, just get Lily!"  
  
Sirius left and Lily arrived. She and Cayte spoke of James' idiocy, and how Sirius was being great. Soon enough it was almost six and Cayte wanted to change out of her school robes. She met Sirius down in the commons room and he told her to go on out to the tree, that he had to get some things.  
  
About five minutes after he arrived carrying a picnic basket and a blanket. The sun was setting over the lake, which created a beautiful site for them to watch while eating their abundant supply of food.  
  
"Well, how has your first Valentine's Day been?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Great, though it's not my first. I'm just glad those heart things are gone, its hard to look at you when they're there."  
  
"You didn't like them? Aw, well, I know what not to do next year!"  
  
"It's sweet, but you look at someone in they eyes all day and see hearts and NOT laugh!"  
  
When they finished eating, Sirius pulled out a black square box and handed it to Cayte. "Oh, Crap! I forgot to get your present! Accio present," Cayte said, and saw Sirius' gift coming towards her.  
  
"Go ahead and open it," Sirius said, motioning towards the box. Cayte lifted the lid and saw a charm bracelet of sorts. It was silver with links that connected, and each link had something on it. Sirius scooted closer to Cayte and lifted the bracelet.  
  
Pointing towards the first link he saw he said, "This is the American flag, for your birth place," Then he pointed to the next three charms which read 'DMB', "for your favorite band." Cayte was smiling so big, it was so thoughtful of him. He pointed to the link after that, "The British flag, for what will hopefully be a home away from home in Scotland," he leaned in closer to her and said, "the next four, CSNY are for Crosby, Still, Nash, and Young, followed by the music notes which are self explanatory." The rest of the charms were 'GD' for Grateful Dead, a star and 'Guster' for the band. Cayte and Sirius were sitting closely and Cayte put her head on his shoulder.  
  
"Thank you so much!" she said, then picking her head and grabbing the wrapped present for him. "It's so thoughtful of you, and wonderful! Open yours, it's not quite so brilliant, but I think you'll like it."  
  
Sirius tore off the wrapping paper to find a copy of Cayte favorite Dave Matthews Band CD, one that he had borrowed quite a few times. "Awesome! That is great," he said, looking over at Cayte. She lifted her head to look in his eyes. There was something that passed between them that only they could understand. Slowly, they both leaned in and their lips met.  
  
When they pulled apart, Sirius looked at Cayte in awe, "That was the best Valentines Day present I have ever gotten." Cayte agreed. He pulled her up and held her and they both looked at the stars until it was time to go inside. When they got to the girls' dorm Sirius pulled Cayte close again and whispered, "Thank you for the gifts, they are wonderful," then he kissed her again.  
AN: I'm terribly sorry for the wait, it's just that I can only write so much fluff at a time and there was some definite fluff in this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it! REVIEW! 


	21. Comfy Couches and great songs

AN: well, hello hello! This is my first try using HTML for this so it might look a bit strange. 9and it did until I changed it so it wont.html doesn't like me I am afraid). Forgive me if it does. And also, please, please PLEASE forgive me for such a long wait. I had a paper to write all last week, and when I didn't I had writers block. When that was gone, I only had time to write during class, so a little bit got done, but not enough to make me happy. It's spring break here so hopefully you'll all get a few chapters in by Monday. I mean, c'mon, it's not like I have better things to do.seriously!  
  
Twilight: this one chappy isn't the one you saw. That's next, and probably tonight too!!! Now on to the chappy!  
Cayte woke up the next morning early.Glancing over at her clock, she saw it was around 3 AM. Tossing and turning she realized was still so excited over what had happened the night before to get back to sleep. She got dressed and went down to the commons room with a book, only to find her boyfriend there on a couch waiting for her.  
  
"Hey sweetie! I wanted to spend every moment I could with you, so I got up early and waited." He said, pulling her down on the couch to sit next to him. Cayte glanced skeptically over to him.  
  
"Now did you really plan that, or did you just wake up early too?" the brunette asked, tucking her feet beneath her and leaning towards her boyfriend.  
  
"Truthfully? It was a little of both. I went to bed last night wishing I could be with you. I don't know if you get it.Being near you makes me so happy, and I can't stop thinking about you anyway. I woke up early for whatever reason, and figured that I'd come down here and wait until someone, hopefully you, came down," Sirius said, his eyes twinkling as he looked at her. "What that?" he said, pointing to the book in her hand.  
  
Cayte looked a bit puzzled, then realized what he was talking about. "Oh! I was going to come down here and read until someone else came down. But you're here so I guess that plan is shot," she said jokingly. "Dammit! I have to spend time with my beautiful boyfriend instead of having my nose in a book!"  
  
Sirius smiled, "No, read away, I really am content just being with you," and with that, he turned sideways, and coaxed Cayte to do the same, then he reached his hands towards her neck and started to give her a massage. When he realizes she wasn't reading he got frustrated. "What? Do I need to open the book for you?"  
Sirius leaned over her shoulder and grabbed the book, resting his chin in the groove of her neck. He opened the book to the page with the mark, placed in her hands, kissed her neck, and then went back to massaging her neck. Cayte started to read, and smiled to herself, 'this is what I always imagined the perfect guy to be like. Just spending time with me would make him happy, even if he were just watching me read.' Cayte closed her eyes and placed her finger in the book to mark her page. Sirius stopped rubbing her neck curious as to what she was doing.  
  
"Sirius?" Cayte asked, in a drowsy and far off kind of voice. "Yeah sweetie?" he whispered in her ear. Cayte sighed heavily, "never mind, it was stupid."  
  
"Nothing you say is stupid to me," he said, his hands dropping from her neck. Cayte decided she could not voice what she wanted, so instead she just did it. Sirius moved his hands as Cayte leaned back into him. She lay her head down on his shoulder, and he rested his on the arm rail of the couch. They lied in each other's arms, whispering to each other until they had both drifted off to sleep.  
  
It was about six AM before anyone else made an appearance in the commons room, and the couple was lucky that it was only Remus, and not someone who would leave them to get caught by a prefect or someone else for that matter. Gently, Remus picked Cayte up and lay her down on the couch adjacent to the one Sirius was on. Then, shaking him awake, he told Sirius that he needed to wake Cayte up himself. After shaking his head sharply to wake himself up a bit more, he walked over to the couch Cayte lay on.  
Leaning over her he whispered in her ear, "Sweetie, it's time to wake up. Come on, babe," he said, kissing her on the cheek in hopes that it would wake her. Looking at Remus he smiled, "Damn, she sleeps like the dead!" Remus walked over to the couch and picked her up again. Sirius protested adamantly, "Hey! What are you doing?"  
  
Remus ignored Sirius and placed Cayte's feet on the ground, then let go. Sirius stepped over to her and held on, before he realized that she had been standing the whole time he was walking towards her. He let go, and she stood still. Sirius looked at Remus, "She's asleep! How is she standing? I don't get it? But I have got to learn to do that." Remus stood and laughed knowing how she was doing it; Sirius was facing the back of her head, and couldn't see that Cayte was awake, not asleep. Turning around, Cayte said to her boyfriend, "Siri Babe, I'm awake. I've been awake since Remy relocated me to that couch. Stupid git.you really thought I was standing while sleeping didn't you!"  
  
Cayte started into a fit of laughter at the look on Sirius' face. It was one of pure shock and she loved it. Soon she found a hand cupped over her mouth to keep her laughter quieter, and soon after that she stopped laughing so hard and sat down again.  
  
~*~  
  
In the weeks after that first night in the commons room Cayte and Sirius woke up early quite often, and it became a common site for Remus, and early bird to say the least, to come down and have to wake each of them up. Cayte had gotten used to waking up early, as it seemed to be all she did now. She always attempted going to sleep early, which never worked, as she was too worried over what happened during the day. Sirius just got used to waking up early in hopes that she would be in the commons room, though he was a little curious as to why she did this.  
  
During the daytime the couple was inseparable as well, spending as much time as they could together. No one really minded this though, as being around the couple made others just as happy as Cayte and Sirius were themselves. Classes, however, were another story. Cayte and Sirius sat together whenever they shared a class, but Sirius often found that Cayte had retreated into her mind, with a dazed look on her face. This too bothered the trouble making Gryffindor and he needed to talk to her.  
  
One Saturday after a Hogsmeade trip, Cayte, Lily, Sirius, James, Remus and Peter were all sitting in their respective spots for dinner. Cayte held a bag of sweets from Honeydukes and a butterbeer from the Three Broomsticks as her dinner. Peter was doing the same, in fact almost all of the gang was eating junk food, but Lily stabbed her fork into a spinach salad instead.  
  
Taking a sip of her butterbeer Cayte looked at Lily curiously, "Why the salad Lily dearest? Why not join the rest of us in pigging out on sweets and--," looking down at her plate, she noticed some chicken that had been placed there some how, "-meat, or poultry for that matter?"  
  
Lily looked at Cayte and sighed, "I've decided to become a vegetarian. I mean, you are what you eat ya know, and who would want to be.A hot wing?" Cayte laughed and suddenly burst into song, "If you are what you eat in my case I'll be sweet, so come and get some! ~ Jason Mraz, too much food!"  
Sirius leaned over to his girlfriend, "Ok then!" Turning her head his way, he leaned even close her and kissed her. Cayte, being herself, kissed back- at least until she was hit in the head by Peter two seconds later. " NOT in the great hall. Get a room if you wanna snog that badly!" Sirius grinned, and looked at Cayte, "Whaddya say? Library at 9?" Cayte laughed, "Sure! Sounds good to me baby!" she said jokingly.  
AN: So, how did you like this very uneventful chapter? I'm sorry, I've literally been planning that last part for months now.Next up will come the big stuff.Deep and seriously good eventful, purposeful stuff!! Review my sweets!  
  
AN again: eek! It went up with html codes all in it and stuff! Well here's the one with out html, maybe it'll look better!!!! 


	22. CHCHCHCHANGES!

AN: Hey all you readers out there in reader land! (Forgive me, this whole thing if gonna sound a bit goofy as I am extremely hyper for some un known reason *coughstrongcoffeecough *) You all are going to want to kill me after I say this, but here goes anyway. I left this **REALLY** awesome chappy at school. 'Member how I said that I didn't have mucho time to write, well, I didn't and I wrote during extra class time. I put all of this writing in my lit notebook, being that it was a lit notebook and this was/is a story. Well, well, well, it was Friday, I had an hour and an half before I was outo f school for 9 days and I put my lit notebook up in my locker without retrieving the half completed chapter from inside. You can kill me now. But wait! The Becca knows what to do! She is taking this whole thing as a sign. I/she was worried that jumping forward into what would be the next chapter (aforementioned one in locker) and she wasn't sure that she should do so. It would be jumping a month or so ahead. So now I write what is to happen in between that. Can you wait? Neither can I. I would just like to say an short apology to the last chapter. I was mistaken on how exactly one person does HTML on ff.net and it didn't work. Read on!

****

Life According To Me

Chapter 22

CH-CH-CH-CHANGES!

James looked up at his friends, "Spring Break sound good to you guys?" Remus laughed at the irony. They were speaking of turning into animagi forms for the first time, and the next full moon happened to be two days after spring break started. Shaking his head, "Yeah sure, it works for me. So long as Lily will distract Cayte, she still wants to become one with us," Sirius said towards James.

"What's the big deal? Why don't you want her to come?" James asked, puzzled that his friend who could barely stand to be away from his girlfriend for five minutes didn't want her to join in on the fun. Sirius sat in silence for a moment, debating what to do, _'Why? **WHY? **I don't want her to come because it's so freaking unsafe for ANYONE to do, and I wouldn't be able to stand it if she were to get hurt. But do I tell this to them? Nah, just bypass the question, tell James later…'_ "I just don't want her to, that's all. Do I have to have a freaking reason for _everything_?"

They all dismissed it, James figured he'd get it out of him sooner or later and he preferred sooner than later. They all agreed that as soon as spring break started they would start their first transformation. Shortly after this (to Sirius' satisfaction) Cayte came down from taking a nap in her dorm. 

"I love Saturdays! You get to sleep late, wake up eat, and then sleep some more!" the Gryffindor said while braiding her long brown hair behind her. Glancing around, Cayte noticed that there were no more seats around the group, she turned around and saw a chair that was not being used by anyone. Much to Sirius' disappointment, Cayte drew out her wand and pointed at the chair, _"Accio chair" _and the chair scooted over towards her. Sitting down with her feet hanging over one arm and her head leaning against the other side she looked over at Sirius, "Why so ungablusm Siri Babe?" Sirius looked at her with is head cocked to the side. 

"Wow, he will make a good dog!" Peter remarked as Lily drew his attention, "Ungablusm, it means blue, unhappy, glum, down in the dumps etc. in Yiddish." Cayte juts nodded her head, glad that Lily could answer that one for her boyfriend. 

It was now James' turn to look puzzled, "Um…Lily, how did you know that?" Lily smiled, "Ask Cayte, she's the one who told me." All heads turned towards Cayte, "Ah, well you see, my grandmother is fluent in Yiddish, as half of my family is Jewish, and I've grown up hearing stuff like that! It kinda rubs off on you after a while, and thus I use it, also explaining Lily's understanding. But, Siri you still have yet to answer my question."

They all laughed at Sirius as he voided off the answer, _'maybe because I wanted you to sit with me…or well…on my lap. Maybe because I'm worried about this whole animagi thing, and maybe because I'm just worried about you,'_ but instead of voicing his true feelings he just said, "No reason, just tired I guess." After awhile they all headed down for lunch, then Sirius and Cayte headed over to the tree to talk- yes actually talk- for awhile. 

"Cayte? What's up with you lately? You seem so…I don't know… distant?" Sirius asked pulling her down to sit on the grass with him. And it was true, she had been a bit distant since the week or so before. It was small things that only he really noticed, stuff no one else would think about. Cayte knew what he was talking about, but was afraid to tell him why. "What do you mean? Distant? How?" 

Sirius didn't really know what to say from there, "Well, I mean, you go up to bed real early and sleep until there's five minutes left of breakfast before class. But even with all that sleep, you still have circles under your eyes. And in class, you drift off not paying attention, which is something that I know you wouldn't normally do. So are you going to tell me or," a grin appeared on his face, "will I have to tickle it out of you, cause I will you know!" 

At first Cayte was a bit confused, it was like he was flirting with her while trying to be serious, then it hit her, he knew her too well, "Well, tickle away, I'm not saying a thing…" she said staring down at the grass. Sirius turned to face her and put his hand gently under her chin, picking up her head so that she could see how serious he was really being about this. Cayte started to squirm, lifting her hand to pull his away she looked at him, "Dammit Siri, how did you know my weakness? Right under my chin is the WORST place in the way of being ticklish for me." With an amazed look on his face he looked at where Cayte was taking his hand away, and he noticed that half of it had rested right underneath her chin. 

Sighing, Cayte again turned to the grass and started to play, "I suppose you should know, its just one of those things. I haven't really been sleeping too well, thus the nap earlier, in which I _still _didn't sleep. I've tossed and turned all night, ever night since –for whatever reason this is- Lily proclaimed herself as a vegetarian. I just sit there all night thinking." 

Sirius had to hold back the smart ass comment that was forming in his mind (_'NO SHIT? YOU THINK?_) Instead he said, "Why sweetie? What's up?" Cayte saw the look of concern on her boyfriends' face and started to look down at the grass again. "I'm still scared. I had thought I had gotten over my fear. You know the one of falling in love. It's still there. And I'm not saying in any way that I think I'm in love with you, it's just that I'm afraid. I don't know what to do. Every time we kiss or _do _anything else I get this feeling, like I'm falling and it won't go away."

Sirius just looked at her, seeing how hard it was to tell him all of this, he wanted to comfort her but was afraid she'd get the falling feeling again. "Baby, I don't think your afraid of falling in love," he put his thumb on her lips to stop her protests, "I think your afraid of the unknown. Afraid of what's to come, and afraid of something new, like our relationship. It's a change, and I think you are scared of it." 

"I suppose your right. I mean, that would make sense," Cayte started to laugh, "I was so terrified when I first arrived here. I was so used to the routine of things. How everything ran, where everything was. All that stuff…" a smirk came across the brunettes face as she sung, "'Well I've been afraid of changing, cause I've built my life around you' Fleetwood Mac, Landslide. I guess I was afraid of the changes from my old school to Hogwarts. Especially about not waking up to see the same faces. G-d was I glad when you started talking to me, it was someone who seemed interested in what I had to say."

Sirius smiled, "Well as I recall, I didn't talk to you first. I wrote. But who cares, if your quoting songs I know you're a little better than before. Suddenly a thought popped into his head, and a smirk appeared on his face, "CH-CH-CH-CHANGES!!!" Cayte laughed and leaned over towards him, their lips met and Sirius pulled her closer towards him, but broke the connection. "Still getting that feeling?" he asked out of concern. Cayte only nodded and whispered, "Yeah, but it's not as bad, not like I'm falling to jagged rocks three miles down," then before Sirius could stop her she leaned in to kiss him again. _'He doesn't **need** to know that instead of rocks, it's him waiting there to catch me…and yet I'm still so scared…'_

Sirius scooted to lean against the tree and pulled Cayte into his lap, so she was sitting horizontally and could face him. He took her hands in his and went to continue kissing but stopped leaning, "Bloody hell! Your hands are freezing!" he started to warm them in his own as Cayte laughed. "Welcome to my life. They're always like that," gesturing with her head towards her hands, "I get anywhere that's below body temperature and they freeze. Same with my feet." A look of understanding came over Sirius' face, "So that's why you always wear socks!" 
"And if wearing a cloak, my hands are always in the pockets," she said continuing the statement. Sirius leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, "Come on, let's go inside," he said, standing up and reaching his arm down to help her. 
~*~
"10 days left!" Cayte said to the group as they walked to breakfast. "Almost time for break" she commented, looking out the window and noticing the tree by the lake. _'It's seems like it's been so long since Valentine's day. Hell it seems like it was yesterday when Sirius and I talked about the 'CH-CH-CH-CHANGES!', as he liked to put it. Hard to believe a month has passed'_ she thought walking into the Great Hall just as the mail was arriving. Sirius noted that there seemed to be more owls flying in and leaving as it got closer to the break, _'Humph, wish _my _parents wanted me home badly enough to owl for me,'_ he thought, sitting down next to Cayte. 
Things had gotten a bit better as far as Cayte's fears. She was still afraid of the unknown, something she had always figured, but as always a change becomes the norm after awhile so she was getting used to having someone hold her when she was cold, and kiss her just because she was there. 
The groups spirits were high in the days that led towards break, only Sirius was having any doubts. Cayte noticed something was amiss with her boyfriend, but decided it was just pre break stuff. In truth Sirius felt like shit for lying to her, as that was exactly what not telling her about when they were becoming animagi was. James tried to get him to tell her, just so that they would all feel better about the whole situation, but Sirius refused knowing that it could jeopardize her safety, and that was the last thing he wanted. 
Lily and Cayte had fun the last few days before school, none of the teachers really expected them to work very hard, save McGonagall who gave them a test the day before. Most of the time Cayte and Lily just goofed off and wrote notes to each other. Sirius was absent from all of this as he spent the time catching up on detentions with _all _of his teachers, but that's not to say that James and the rest of their group were there too. 
AN: Hello all! Well, here's on chapter up. I have officially decided what to do about the whole chapter-in-my-locker mishap. I already know what is to come right after that fateful chapter and thus I will be working on those the rest of my break. That way when I type up what I have, I can quite simply post a chapter every day or so, though I might space it out. This also does something that I have wanted to do for awhile, that is get ahead of where I am on ff.net. This can't be posted immediately as I am grounded from the net for the night because I got on to do something my mom had asked me to do _before_ my laundry was done…How insane is that? I was doing something she wanted me to! Oh well, Review please! (Where are you guys, I've posted a chapter and you haven't been reviewing. I feel lost…)


	23. Hmminteresting developments

AN: Oh my gosh guys, I feel so horrible! I am supposed to get review alerts from fan fic dot net when I get a review and so I got one. Only one, when there were more reveiws than that. I was mad cause I thought no one was reading or reviewing so I neglected to make the chappys I had typed better. Instead I put it off forever…I'm so sorry! On the other hand (you have different fingers..) I have been at war with ff.net for weeks and why did I just trust it? I don't know…stupid site! On to the chappy!

Cayte woke with a sharp breath. Sitting up in bed, she looked around. All she saw was darkness. Black. "This is just like the dream," she thought, pulling her knees up to her chest. Her breathing was sharp and loud. She was terrified and all she could see was the darkness. It took her a few minutes to realize that she had the curtains drawn in her bed, and it took another five minutes for her to work up the courage to open them. 

When she finally did, she let out a small cry of joy, there was a candle lit and she knew she was in her bedroom at home. She had had this nightmare before. Total Darkness. It had happened when she was uncomfortable, missed someone, or she was in unfamiliar surroundings. But those were only the times she had thought about it, and she had no idea what it could be about this time. 

She got up wondering what to do, knowing she wouldn't sleep again that night. Sitting down at her desk she pulled out a piece of muggle paper and a ball point pen. She put the pen to paper and just let her thoughts go to the page. "Stream of consciousness. Always the best way to write," she thought to herself as she started to write. Once she had almost filled a page front and back, she stopped and read it over. 

_"I had the dream again. I always forget just how scary it is. It's all so strange too. I mean, I can't get to sleep unless I have **total **darkness, and yet the one nightmare that I have when I have one, is of total darkness. It's all it is. Black. I can't see, I can't move. I can't do anything. I just sit. _

The last time I remember having it was…when I moved here. I missed Jack. I still do really. I just don't let it show anymore. I've learned to hide things. I still suck at it, Sirius can read me like a book. Except for where Jack is concerned. I haven't told him about Jack. How could I? How do you explain something like that? Some**one** like that. It would be so hard. And I guess I should tell him. It's part of my life, and it's something he should know. If for nothing else so that he understands why I can't just up and…How do I do it…"

The next time Cayte woke up it was to birds chirping and sunshine filtering through her windows. She lifted her head to see where she was and saw the letter. Looking around she noticed the ink pen on the floor, her clock read 11 am. She quickly got dressed and went down stairs, smelling fresh coffee, and seeing her mother reading a book in the living room. 

~*~ Flashback ~*~

Cayte, Sirius, James, Lily, Peter, and Remus were sitting at the Gryffindor table for breakfast as the owls arrived. It was about a week before break started and they were all excited to be able to just hang out around the castle with out any classes to go to. Cayte glanced up and noticed her mothers owl heading towards her. 

__

Cayte,

Your father will be out of town while on break. I want you yo come home. I have off that week so we can do some stuff. 

Mom

~*~ end flashback ~*~

Cayte's mom looked up and smiled. "I made coffee for you. Glad your finally awake!" Cayte sat down with a cup of coffee and read a letter that had just arrived for her. It was from Sirius. This was the first day of break and the second letter she had gotten from him. 

__

Cayte,

I'm going to see Cassie today. Dumbledore gave me permission, so I'm meeting my parents there. Should have about and hour alone with her. S'pose I'll be writing you then too. James says hello, as do Lily and the rest of the gang. We all miss your constant musical lyrics to go along with what we all say. I miss them most of all, but more than that I miss you. I find myself sitting down and holding pillows wishing the pillow was you. Dumbledore said the train to St. Mungo's was leaving soon, so I gotta run! 

Sirius

Cayte smiled. She was glad he was going to see his sister as she could tell he missed her. After taking a shower and getting dressed, she headed back downstairs and sat down French braiding her hair in pigtails. 

"I've got a surprise for you!" her mom said, "Come one, we've got to hurry. Get on my broom!"

Cayte looked a bit curious but figured whatever it was, it would be good. She walked outside thinking to herself, _'odd. A minute ago my clothes were not where they were supposed to be, most of them gone, and now were going somewhere on a broom? Oh well…'_

A few hours later they landed and Cayte realized where she was. America. Pecan Rose to be exact. It was her old school. She looked up and noticed a mock game of Quidditch going on above her. She turned to her mom excitedly, "THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!" she screamed while running up to the old antebellum house that was the school building. Opening the doors she ran inside and up a set of stairs, (_'Thank G-d they aren't **moving**!'_) towards her old dorms. She reached a platform and turned to go up another flight of stairs but ran into a tall and solid object. Or tall and solid person rather. Looking up she mumbled words of apology then her eyes got wide. "JACK?!" she screeched at the same time the figure yelled, "CAYTE?!?" 

The tall boy had dark curly brown hair, almost black, and a naturally tanned skin with deep brown eyes. He picked her up, swinging her around in the air while ignoring the clicking sound he kept hearing. The two of them were laughing and smiling to no end, happy to see each other. He set her down and looked at her, smiling so big that it hurt. "I missed you so much!" he decided that he hadn't hugged her enough yet and slipped his arms around her again. It was the only way he could find to express what he was feeling, the body language, and he knew that Cayte would understand. She was the same way, communicated through body language. He had observed he enough to know that it was only with him that she did that, and he figured that it was just the way they were. He never saw her pick up other guys' hands and play with them only saw her smile and laugh. 

"Don't you think you've hugged her enough Jack?" Mrs. Black said, smiling and walking towards the two of them. Jack smiled, "MOM!- and no, I could never hug Cayte enough." Cayte smiled, remembering the name he chose to call her mother. Jack and her mom were as good as friends as she and Jack were, and seeing as he didn't know his mom, he chose to call her mom. After all, all of Cayte's friends in America wanted her mom as theirs. 

Jack nodded his head towards their old dorms, "Come on Cayte, lets go to the dorms. Hang out ya know?" Cayte followed eagerly as her mom told her that she had to meet with the headmaster, and that she had something planned for them to do later. They went up to the dorm and Cayte was reunited with all of her old friends, and a few of her old enemies. After awhile she decided to write Sirius:

__

Siri Babe,

Mom took me to America! My old school even! And Jack is here!! You don't know about Jack, he's the guy in the picture I'm sending. He's one of my best friends here…I've missed him so much it's crazy! How's Cassie? Hope I can meet her soon…back to Pecan Rose…Wow, I forgot how great it was here. I mean, don't get me wrong, Hogwarts rocks, but there is absolutely nothing like what one person finds here. It's so peaceful most of the time. Sure, there's the occasional disruption, but the staircases stay in place and there's no squid in the lake here. hell, there's no lake here. But oh well

Jack…How do you explain Jack? You don't. That's all I can actually say about it. He's so great, treats me just like any wonderful friend should. People –yet again- seem to think we are going out…what is it with them? And I tell them all about you, the wonderful boyfriend I have at home. Funny, I call Hogwarts home now. Home. What is home? I used to think it was where I had a friend to wake me up every morning and a hug before I went to bed at night. At least that's what Pecan Rose was to me. It was so wonderful here. Well most of it anyway…Ah, so I gotta run, Jack wants to take me somewhere before Mom does. She's planned a surprise!!

Love ya!

Cayte

Cayte slipped the picture of her and Jack her mom had taken into the envelope that she tied onto an owls leg. She watched it fly out of the window as she felt a hand at her waist. Turning around, she smiled big, it was Jack, always there, always perfect. She reached up and gave him a hug, he leaned in and whispered, "I love you". Cayte smiled, "Love you too Jack…Love you too!"

AN: Well freak! I lost all inspiration to write. Let alone time. I have had NO time what so ever to do ANYTHING at all and that doesn't include writing. So here I am, updating again. Thank Forensicfreak14. She started to read my fic and getting me to talk about it. Please review….I need the encouragement…


	24. Interestingness

****

AN: OMG! You guys should be doubly happy for me. I got bored today and pulled out paper and a pen and started writing the next chapter. Just wrote. Three pages total so far. IM BACK! I couldn't write for a week or so, but here I am, must kicking my in the arse cause of my so-called 'hibernation' for weeks. IM SO SORRY! Look, just do me a big huge favor that shouldn't take long at all. Review. I'm dead Sirius, it will make these all come out so much quicker. I am taking it at a stride that no one reviewed the last chapter. It's my faithful reviewers grace chapter. I need reveiws to fuel me. You want more, you review, that's the deal, k? Okie!

Chapter 24

Disclaimer: All JK's…none of this is mine!

Sirius stared at the moving picture in his hand. It depicted Cayte lifted up in the arms of a tall dark haired boy. She was smiling bigger than he had ever seen her smile and it hurt him to see another guy reviewing it. He felt a hand clap his shoulder, "It's alright Siri, Cayte would never cheat on you. She likes you too much" James said in a vain attempt to make his friend feel better. Sirius smiled flatly, "It's not that…I know that. It's just…look at that smile! I've never seen her so happy. I can't make her that happy no matter how hard I try. I've tried James. She just doesn't smile like that. Not for me at least. I could FEEL the happiness radiating in her later, _see _it in her writing. I don't know. She just-just seems so happy there versus with me." The two friends say in silence for a few minutes. _"**I want to be him!**_" Sirius thought. _"I want to help him!"_ James thought to himself. 

Meanwhile on a different continent in a southern state Cayte woke up to a face less than two inches from her face. "BOO!" Jack laughed, pulling her up from the bed she was sleeping on. "Hey babe, its morning! Breakfast is being served and your mom's down stairs waiting for you." Cayte looked groggily up at him, "coffee," was all she could manage to say. She tripped down the stairs, eyes half closed, following the smell of food and coffee. _"England doesn't make coffee like this," _Cayte thought as she took a sip of strong Colombian coffee. She found her favorite breakfast foods and put them on her plate. "There is **nothing **like an everything bagel with cream cheese and whitefish spread," (an: try it! It seems so totally wrong, but…mmmm…my mouth waters thinking about it!)Cayte said, taking a bite. Her mom cringed, "That's right, they are great, just not chewed up IN. YOUR. MOUTH!" A small flush appeared on Cayte's face, "Sorry," she muttered taking another bite. "So, what are we doing today? You said we had plans," Cayte's mom nodded and swallowed. "Surprise. Not telling. Dress comfortably, wear good shoes. Jack, unfortunately there's not enough 'room' for you to come. Be ready around 5 today, K?" she said standing up to leave. 

Jack smiled, "and tomorrow _I've _got a surprise for you!" 

~*~ Later that Day ~*~

Cayte was excited. Two surprised, two days, what and awesome thing! She was up in her old room- the one she had gotten the year she left- alone she had always stayed alone in that room, as it had been given to her due to 'special situations'. She put on a t-shirt froma DMB concert long past and her favorite jeans and sneakers. It was five till five and she knew her mom would be waiting outside. She walked out the door that led straight to the main room and found her mother standing with two broomsticks, Jack's and her own. "Come on, we gotta fly!" her mom joked. "You're so cheesy!" Cayte said, taking Jack's broom. "Jack said you could use his broom. It's easier one person per if you know what I mean," Mrs. Daae said, "I bewitched it to follow my lead for now, " she added taking flight. After about thirty minutes they landed at a wizarding restaurant to eat dinner. An hour later they took off again, stomachs full, and minds anxious for whatever was next. 

Guster. That's all Mrs. Daae had to say before Cayte went berserk. She loved the band Guster and they were coming out with a new CD soon so they had started another tour. Her mom had somehow managed to get tickets to see them in the small venue. Cayte, being the 'guster fan girl' that she was knew they only played small venues like the one they were at so the shows sold out quickly. They stood around, eight people from the stage. Just waiting. At nine o'clock guster came out on to the stage. Opening with one of Cayte's favorite songs, What You Wish For, and the concert only got better from there. 

It was one am when they got back to Pecan Rose. All was quiet, as everyone but the caretaker was asleep. As soon as Cayte reached her bed, she was asleep, out like a light and dreaming of the concert she had just attended. 

~*~

Sirius moped around, pissed off and jealous, wishing Cayte were there on one hand, and on the other he was so glad she wasn't. First off he couldn't explain to her the animagus thing without her being pissed and second he was afraid of what he would say to her about this kid Jack. 

He decided to write.

_This kid Jack…I don't know what to think about him. His eyes seem to hold so much love for Cayte. But it's not the love that one gets when looking at a sister. And it scares me. I've **never **seen Cayte look like that, that happy…I can't believe she would cheat on me. But that's what it has to be. I mean…why else would he look like that. Why else would SHE look like that?_

Sirius got up from the bed and grabbed the picture. The thought never crossed his mind that if she were cheating on him, she would not have sent him that picture. 

****

An: Hey youse guyses! Thanks to my 44th review, I am posting this chapter. SOMEONE loves me enough to review…Go read Angie Morse's stories! She rocks and she read this one after promising she would for awhile! REVIEW! R E V I E W ! 


	25. The argument, a prelude

**AN: First things first. It has been over a year since I wrote anything on this fic. I can't really say why, I don't really know. I think of it often though. It was one of those weird things. My first fic. I knew some of it was bad, and a lot of it is cheesy beyond belief. Here's to hoping that it only gets better from here. Maybe a few of you still have me on author alert, maybe not. I just re read the entire fic, and I honestly fell in love with it again. On a side note, I now have some wonderful ideas for what's coming (I knew what was coming all along, but now I have some more song lyrics I can add to it, just as an enhancement), and I'm hoping a few people will review and tell me they like this.  
  
Chapter 25: The argument  
**  
Cayte sat on the Hogwarts Express anxious to get back to the place she now considered home. She missed Sirius profoundly, and was curious as to why he had not written many more letters after that first one. She worried that it might be because of Cassie. Had something happened? Did something horrible go wrong? _There's only an hour left of this train ride to find out_, she thought to herself as she listened to her Oasis CD. "Well I've been standing at the station, in need of education in the rain," the band played. The hair on the back of Cayte's neck pricked up, something about that seemed eerily familiar, and she couldn't tell what. She closed her eyes, and the next thing she knew the train was stopping.  
  
She had finally arrived. She grabbed her stuff and looked out of the window, sure enough it was pouring down rain. As she walked down the steps she located Sirius standing in the crowd, looking extremely unhappy, she noted. She smiled a big smile as she walked toward him, one that had to be about as big as the one she gave Jack, Sirius noted. When she reached him she dropped her stuff, and wrapped her arms around him tightly. "I missed you **so** much Siri Babe. Words just don't describe!" she smiled, and noticed that he didn't move to hug her back. Instead, he stood with his arms by his side, when she backed away Sirius picked up her stuff and walked towards her trunk, grabbing that as well. _I may be pissed as hell at her_, Sirius thought, _but that's no reason not to be polite.  
_  
When they reached a carriage, they climbed inside and sat opposite of each other. "Sirius, what's wrong?" Cayte asked concerned, "You stopped sending me letters three days into break and now you haven't said a word to me. What's wrong?"  
  
Sirius looked at her, a small amount of disgust filled his eyes. "You honestly don't know? After everything I Have done for you, you don't know how much you have hurt me? I don't believe this," Sirius said, fuming at the fact that his 'girlfriend' didn't know what was going on. Cayte just stared at him, a blank expression on her face.  
  
"No, Sirius, I _don't_ know what's going on. Will you please explain to me, so that maybe I can remedy this situation. I can honestly say that I never meant to hurt you, and I'm not quite sure how I did hurt you. Please understand that, and just explain to me what's wrong?" Sirius turned his face towards the window, signaling the end of the conversation for time being. He was too mad to really try and explain this to her, and he was thinking that maybe, just maybe, he had made the wrong decision regarding her cheating on him. _If she had, wouldn't she just immediately show signs of guilt?  
_  
Cayte was frustrated. She had grown a lot since she first moved here, she now realized as she thought about what she would have done only a few months ago. She would have broken down in tears. Ignoring the fact that she actually wanted to cry, she sorted through the things that had happened on her break. Her mom had taken her to America, where she had gone to a Guster concert, then the next night gone to see _Les Miserables_ with Jack. She had sent Sirius a letter everyday, sometimes including pictures, others just telling him how much fun she was having seeing her old friends again. One thought occurred to her. "Sirius? Are you upset with me because I had fun in America without you? Or is it something else?"  
  
Sirius just grimaced, and being a stubborn male, closed his eyes and turned further towards the window. Cayte realized she probably struck a nerve, so it was obviously something about America.  
  
When she arrived at Hogwarts, she distributed hugs to all of her friends before she asked Lily to join her as she put away her things. "Has Sirius been acting like this since I left?" she asked as soon as they were behind closed doors. Lily smiled slightly, "Not since you left, I guess about the second or third day in. Sometime after he got a letter from you, he started acting moody. James said something about a picture, but that's all I know. He might have mentioned someone named Jack. Mainly, we've all been staying away, he's quick to yell when something is bothering him, and none of us wanted to be the ones that he took it out on."  
  
Cayte sat down on her bed feeling rather dejected. She remembered picking out the picture of herself and Jack that she sent because it showed her so happy, and she knew- or thought she knew- that Sirius would want to see her at her happiest. She now knew why he was upset, that it was something to do with Jack, but she didn't know anything else. She had to talk to him badly now, and decided it was time he learned about the secret room they had. Cayte ran down the stairs towards the commons room and found Sirius brooding in a corner. Picking up his hand, she tried to pull him out of the chair saying, "come on, I really need to talk to you." Sirius shook his head and sat still. She asked him again, explaining that she really did need to talk to him and yet he still didn't budge. She knew that he could hear the urgency in her voice; she stared at his eyes, and could see his concern shine through the disgust that had been there since they met at the station. Cayte knew that there was only one way to get him to come with her, and it wasn't something she really wanted to do. Sure, she was crying inside, but it had been so long since she just broke down, and even though this wouldn't quite be a true break down, it would be in a way, and she would be lying to Sirius.  
  
It finally became too much after she tried a few more times, even telling him that I was important and about their relationship. He really was hurting her a lot, and she knew it would take her one step back from conquering her fears if it just continued. Cayte really did want to cry outwardly now, and she could feel the tears gathering closer to her eyes. "Seeing as you obviously don't care anymore," she said looking at Sirius, "I guess it's better just to leave you alone." A single tear fell down her cheek as she turned and walked to the portrait hole and walked away.  
  
It was strange how that one tear affected Sirius so. He was still positive that something was going on that he needed to be aware of, and he most definitely did not like this Jack person. But it struck him to the core that she thought he didn't care about her anymore. Just being in the same room as her seemed to validate his existence, even when he was mad at her. He knew that he should get up and go after her, in fact he was fighting the urge to get up and run. The only thing that held him back was the fact that, well he wasn't sure why, but he thought she might need a little time to herself. He waited about five minutes before getting up and asking Lily where he might find her. As it turns out, Lily really was worried about her now. Cayte and Lily had grown closer over the past few months and Lily knew that she was making a very big effort to not cry, especially in public. Sure, shit happens, and people will cry, but Cayte cried a lot her first semester and she wanted to refrain from doing so this time around.  
  
Of course Lily knew where Cayte would go to if she wasn't in her dorm (and she wasn't, no one saw her come in). She led Sirius to the portrait right away, and after a few battles with the portrait about letting Sirius in, Lily left him to the growing hole in the canvas.  
  
**AN:** Ok. So how did you like it? After my yearlong sabbatical/hiatus, I think it's a little rough, but that's life. I always think my writings not good enough. Cellobug can tell you. I took a small poll that consisted of the following question: _i can A- post a six page story with a really awesome cliffie in hopes that people review or B- keep typing and make a really long chapter due to my year break  
_  
It was ultimately decided that I should make it a cliffhanger (see above ending) and continue writing, then post the rest of it later. It seemed like a good plan to me, and I really want to feel out for how the story is hitting the masses again. If you are new, and you made it through the hullabaloo that was the first twenty-four chapters, congratulations. I just did that today myself. I award you balloons. If you are an old time reader, back to see what's happening, I double congratulate you for hanging on! You all get helium balloons. I went looking today to see what I could find on my PC of the LATM (Life according to me) chapters on my computer, and it appears that I deleted them all. Sad stuff really. Anyway, be on the look out for the next chapter! Leave reviews, really it will get me to update this faster and faster....


	26. First Fight

**AN: Well no one has reviewed so far, which is extremely sad, but I figure the only way to get people to read is to update more often so people see it. I went to bed thinking of what to do with this chapter, as I wasn't really sure how I wanted it to work. This is going to be their first fight/argument and it has got to be moving to each of them in some way, shape or form. I decided how it should work and almost got up and wrote it then, but I needed the sleep... on with the story  
**  
Chapter 26 First Fight  
  
_...I guess I didn't realize how much I really care about him. I put so much trust in his words. He told me that he wouldn't hurt me, but he has gone around and done just that. And not only hurt me, but done it buy just not talking. There is so much of me that is in pain, and I don't know what to do to make it go away. I've almost written Jack a few times now, but I know that he can do nothing for me, and I know that it would only make me feel worse. I can't let myself slip into that pattern of needing Jack whenever something goes wrong, He is not here, he is so many miles away from here. Here there is no one. When I first came here there was no one, and I really did feel like I needed Jack every day. Right now I do need someone. It's this feeling I have that I can't explain to anyone, not even to myself, that just sits in my chest telling me that if Sirius were here he would make it all so much better. But I know that can't be. He doesn't care anymore, or at least he doesn't seem to care. And to think that al of this is because of one of my closest friends who would never do anything to hurt me, but here I am, hurting because of something I said about him. I know its not Jacks fault in any way shape or form, and I know he did not cause the hurt. Sirius did. And it aches more than I can describe.  
_  
Cayte looked up from her writing as she saw the small hole growing in the portrait. Someone was coming, and whereas she knew Sirius did not know about this place, she secretly wished it were him. Right after she thought that to herself, Sirius' head stuck through the portrait hole, and upon seeing her, smiled. Once through, he walked briskly over to her, before remembering that he was mad. Checking himself, he sat down opposite of her and just stared.  
  
"So you decided to talk?" Cayte asked, bitterness tracing her voice. She didn't realize it would be there and it startled her, as it did Sirius. Taking a big sigh, Sirius nodded. Seeing her there, tears still resting on her cheeks, it almost made all of the anger disappear. "Cayte, listen, I know you have no idea why I'm mad at you. So I decided to have a level playing ground in this thing, you should know. I got your letter, the one with the picture of you and.. what's his name? Jack? Well, you were just so happy. And he was hugging you, and you were smiling and enjoying being in his arms. It just seems obvious to me that something was going on. It came as a shock that you would do something like that to me..."  
  
Cayte listened to what he had to say, but it didn't really connect that he was saying she had cheated on him. She never thought something like that would come up, so she wasn't prepared. "Wait a minute. You're telling me that you thought _I_ was cheating on _you_ with Jack?! Did you _not_ read my letter stating that he was my closest friend?" Cayte wasn't sure what else to say. She was appalled that Sirius would not trust her to that extent after she had put so much trust in him.  
  
"Cayte, you were happier than I have ever seen you, and I've seen you in a lot of different emotions. You cannot deny that fact."  
  
"No Sirius, you're right, I can't. What if you had to go for six or so months with out seeing James, and rarely getting the chance to talk to him? Wouldn't you be happier than you could imagine to see him?" Cayte stood up, it was something about her, whenever she got overly upset, or happy, really whenever she was experiencing any intense emotion she just stood up and paced. Sirius just nodded slightly. "Got the amount of happiness you'd be feeling? Multiply it by ten. There, you have exactly what I was feeling, and still would feel, upon seeing Jack after a long time."  
  
"Exactly. Why would you be that happy about this guy? Why did you never tell me about him? Why was he kept a secret for so long? I mean, it seems to me like all of those things point to something other than friendship, and I don't like it." Sirius was now standing as well, furious with the fact that she was proving him wrong.  
  
"WHY didn't I tell you about Jack. Let's see here, 1- it hurt to think about the amount of time spent away from him, 2- I felt slightly guilty as you were coming to be my closest equivalent to Jack of here, 3- how could I describe the closeness we shared. Sirius, he just knew when something was wrong. I could have my back turned away from him and just the way I was breathing would let him know I was upset, or happy, or anything for that matter. He just knew me that well and still does. You know what one of the first things he said in private conversation was? 'Who is he?'. I had never mentioned you –or any boyfriend of sorts- before; never explained you in any letter I wrote, or tried to write, him and he knew there was a guy in my life. He knew I was happier than I was when I left because I had someone who cared about me. Or someone I thought cared about me anyway."  
  
"Oh," was all Sirius could say before Cayte started up again. "And honestly, do you think that if I were cheating on you, I would send you a picture of the guy I was cheating on you with and myself? Do you think I would do something that stupid?"  
  
"No, I guess not. Look, I'm sorry, I just assumed-"  
  
"What was one of the first things I told you Sirius? 'Lesson number one, DON'T assume'."  
  
"I was being stupid, and I saw the look on your face and just assumed, wrongly, that you were with him. I'm sorry."  
  
"I'm sorry too, sorry that you can't trust me enough to be happy with another guy. Sorry that I believed you when you said you wouldn't hurt me. Sorry that I put my trust in you." With that Cayte walked out of the room and went outside to walk the grounds and think. She knew that last comment had to have hit home with Sirius, but that last comment hit home even worse with her. She turned around and walked up the owlery, a spare bit of parchment in her pocket, the quill and ink still sitting there as well.  
  
_ Jack,  
  
Sirius thinks I'm cheating on him with you. Does this whole 'you two are going out thing' extend across continents? Yes, I'm hurt. Yes, I will be okay eventually. I'll keep you posted.  
  
Cayte  
_  
She sent her owl off on its long journey to America and walked to her dorm room.  
  
Sirius sat down in the hidden room where he and Cayte had just fought. He was wrong and he knew it. He had jumped to a conclusion with out even giving it a thought. Had he examined the evidence more clearly, he would have seen the truth and this whole situation could have been avoided. He felt guiltier than he had ever felt before, and Sirius was one guilty feeling person. The only problem he had at the moment was what to do. Did he keep on fighting, even though he was wrong, or did he admit it and try and get Cayte to trust him again. He knew he had to come up with a damn good reason for her to trust him, but he had a small idea in mind. There was no way he would loose her, because as he had figured out just moments before, he needed here badly.  
  
**AN: MissUnderstood3, you are correct. Daae is in reference to Christine. I'm a big musical freak, and Phantom was my first one....  
  
Hope you all enjoyed. This next chapter is going to be a very important one for me. It's partly the reason why I wrote this fic. Review and you will get it up quicker!  
  
:)**


End file.
